Real Housewives Of Orange County
S9E9 “Not A Good Day LA”
Remember Last Week… Well, actually I really don’t want to remember last week’s episode, do you? Let’s just get into this week’s… lol…
This week’s episode starts out with Vicki and Heather having a “Friendship Summit” where they can freely talk about Tamra behind her back. In a Captain Obvious kind of way, Vicki tells Heather that Tamra handles conflict different than everyone else. What do you mean, Vicki? Doesn’t everyone scream at their friends? No? I’m shocked… Vicki is convinced Tamra doesn’t know how to maintain friendships because she seems to always ruin them.
Heather says CUT Fitness is scheduled to be on “Good Day LA” tomorrow – So it will be interesting to see what happens. Tamra is very lucky that Heather’s not the kind of vindictive friend who would have gone back to the Producers and said, “Well, unfortunately it’s not going to work out with CUT Fitness, but I do know of an amazing Insurance person” (Vicki)… lol… or better yet, “There’s this bikini company I recently found out about that’s absolutely fab! – Oh, and a former Miss Kentucky owns it…” (Lizzie’s company…lol).
Heather’s heart, her achy breaky heart still hurts from Tamra’s complete lunacy during Shannon’s Christmas party last week. Tamra didn’t bother call Heather over the holidays but Heather thinks she should have. Heather says she feels that Tamra knew how much she had hurt her – and yet she didn’t receive a call. I wonder if Santa put coal in Tamra’s stocking – Wait, no – Coal is way too much of a precious commodity these days. Now, if this was a real relationship we were talking about, I would hasten to point out that Heather didn’t call Tamra, either – And how it’s funny how phones work… Either side of a conflict could have initiated a call – But neither did. How many of us have called a friend within a few days after a conflict and said something like, “What the heck was that about?”… The air gets cleared and everyone can once again play happily in the same sandbox together. I’m pretty surprised that Eddie didn’t strongly “suggest” that Tamra make the call – Since it was their business interests that were potentially at risk and not merely Tamra’s petty, vindictive, despicable, ungrateful, and selfish “widdle” heart. Too much? Lol…
In a fleeting moment of truth, Vicki confesses to Heather that in the past that she has chimed in with Tamra when they talked about how Heather has a tendency to make everyone feel “less than.” Her Royal Heatherness seems to really think that even though several people have now told her that she has this tendency – That it’s everyone else’s problem – Not her own. Heather tells Vicki she has a issues with the whole Vicki snoring in the middle of when she talks… (Which is still completely hysterical to me – probably because it’s not aimed at me… lol)… Vicki insists that it’s just an inside joke that she and Donn have had going for several years – but Heather doesn’t seem to want to be in on this particular joke… Okay, you can be in on the joke or you can be the punchline to the joke, as far as I can tell. Heather starts to tell Vicki how wonderful, smart, successful, etc. she is when Vicki once again pulls the “snooze” card – and this was while she herself was being complimented… It was completely hysterical! I’m kind of liking Vicki a little bit again – but I think it’s only because I didn’t have to see or hear about Brooks at all this episode…. Yippie!
Lizzie is up to her eyeballs in dirty diapers and play dates. She really wants any excuse to escape – and so she agrees to judge some upcoming beauty pageants. First up is the Miss Santa Monica pageant which has only been in existence for the last 3 years. Lizzie insists that most of the women involved in these pageants are not only beautiful, but they’re also intelligent and entrepreneurial. The problem is that for every 100 contestants who are exactly how Lizzie describes them – There is one who REALLY isn’t. The following YouTube video contains two of the most egregious recent exceptions of pageant intelligence as narrated by Anderson Cooper – Oh, and Nene is one of the judges and is kind of slammed by Anderson – Which is kind of a win/win, no? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBBUkagh66c.
Lizzie insists you don’t have to be the hottest to win these competitions – You just need confidence. She says that most of these women use pageants as a stepping stone to achieve something better. Later on, Lizzie has a fun little scene with her Mom – but mostly it’s just about Lizzie’s bralessness and the camera person’s repeated zooming in on said bralessness than anything else… And in another short but cute segment, her husband is on Daddy Duty while Lizzie is away judging the pageant… Lizzie calls and tries to talk to him over the phone. Unfortunately, Christian hands the phone to Kingston who promptly hangs up on Mommy… Not once… Not twice… but three times…lol. Ummm… Perhaps a better plan of action would be NOT to give the 2 year old the phone…
Tamra and Eddie are nervously preparing for their “Good Day LA” segment. Tamra is stressed since she hasn’t talked to Heather since Shannon’s party so she took a “whole bunch of Immodium.” Oh, come on, Tamra – We all know the REAL reason you took all that Immodium was because you were afraid you were so full of “it” that “it” would certainly spew out of your head the moment you opened your vile mouth (I apologize for that visual – but I just couldn’t resist…lol).
Heather is bummed that she and Tamra aren’t in a better place relationship-wise but is not nervous that Tamra is going to do something silly on camera to her. Terry is not so sure about it… Heather tells us that normally, she would have clued in Tamra about what works and what doesn’t work during these segments… and perhaps would have given her some other pointers, etc. But since Tamra didn’t call – Heather didn’t go out of her way to help her. Heather knows Tamra has to be on her best behavior during the segment because otherwise who would want to go to CUT Fitness?
Meanwhile, because the entire world revolves around Tamra’s selfish widdle heart, she bellyaches about how it would have been if Heather would have visited her in her dressing room before the segment to say, “Hi.” After all – Heather knows Tamra is nervous about it. Oh yeah, well, it would been nice if you had shown up to Heather’s dressing room and kissed the ground she walked on for getting you this gig in the first place.
Heather has a whopping minute and 40 seconds to change into her workout clothes between segments. She breathlessly runs back onto the set as Tamra and Eddie’s segment starts. Heather is very professional and is all businesslike while on the set… Which is of course what they’re all there for, no? Of course Tamra interprets this as Heather being rude and not wanting them to be there in the first place. And because Tamra is generally so easily distracted by shiny objects, she is unable to really focus on her prioritized talking points during the segment – Which of course, is all Heather’s fault. Bad Heather.
Afterwards, Tamra whines to Eddie about the whole thing. She thinks Heather was “frosty.” Eddie thinks it was just, “All business, babe – And that’s what we came for.” He’s absolutely right…lol… Tamra then starts talking about how Heather should have come and talked to them beforehand… and Eddie again, correctly said, “Well yes, if she had the time.” Because, you know – Guest hosting on a show like that is always just so danged laid back and easy….lolol.
David (Shannon’s husband) is helping Sophie (12) with her math homework which is really quite cute – but kind of unsuccessful at this point. Of course, Shannon stepped in and re-explained the concept and Sophie seemed to understand it better. Shannon gives her husband a really dirty, belittling look like he was an idiot or something. She said, “It’s not about the answer – It’s about how you get there.” Yeah, well I’ve had a lot of math teachers in my day, and while a couple of them (when you got into the higher math classes) would give you partial credit if you showed your work but got the wrong answer – Most math teachers actually do care about the correct answer… Surprise, surprise, surprise! (You get points if you imagined Jim Nabors saying that line… lol).
Over-Sharing Shannon once again tells us how she feels unloved in her marriage. She doesn’t have enough quality time with her husband. Heck, even her daughter remarks to both of them that she knows that sometimes her Dad isn’t happy. Since David gets up at 4:30 AM, he goes to bed around the same time as the kids (8:30 PM). This gives Shannon plenty of time to mope around the house and obsess about feeling sorry for herself because she is a night owl and stays up until midnight or 1:00 AM. Shannon says that she feels sad and alone when he’s asleep and she’s awake. She tells us that she and her husband really only have 3-4 hours together a day. Oh, boo-freakin’ hoo… Isn’t that about as much or more time than most people have with their spouses?
Shannon complains that David prioritizes his work and the kids above her. Poor, poor Shannon – She’s married to a man who is gainfully employed and actually cares about his kids. However, as much as I snark at Shannon, I do believe her feelings are real and valid. David really does need to make Shannon more of a priority in his life and they need to figure out ways to turn the time they do have together into quality time. They already have a couple of nannies… Why not go on walks together in the evening? Or just take an hour and go into one of the hundred rooms in their house, close the door – And tell the kids they can’t be disturbed? I mean, c’mon, there’s a million ways to do this – Especially when you can afford to have help taking care of the kids. This is such a classic example of looking from the outside like you have it all – An amazing house, an amazing family, success in business…. And yet on the inside you’re a crumbling pile of rubble. It’s pretty sad, actually… Cuz money can’t buy me love… Can’t buy me love, love, can’t buy me love… No, no, no… nooooOOOoooOOOoooo….
Briana and Ryan are about to find out the gender of their baby. They want their whole family to be involved. They hatched the following plan… When Briana had her ultra sound, she had the technician write the gender on a card and they folded it over. They took the card and a box to a party store and asked them to blow up the color of balloons that corresponded to the appropriate gender noted on the card. The helium filled balloons were secured in the box without Briana or Ryan ever seeing them. Then, they opened the box in front of their family so everyone found out at the exact same time. It’s a boy! Briana is thrilled because she’s convinced that boys are easier and Troy will have a fun brother he can enjoy. Vicki, however, really, really wanted a girl. Vicki says she wanted it to be a girl because she thought that’s what Briana wanted. Briana thinks Vicki wanted a girl because she wanted Briana to follow in Vicki’s footsteps and have a boy then a girl. Vicki is convinced this means that Briana will have baby #3 because Briana wants a girl.
Shannon is going to the cardiologist for a stress echocardiogram… She’s had some chest pains and she’s had problems with her mind racing. In the understatement of the year, Shannon says that she doesn’t feel her relationship with David is in a good place. Gosh, really? It’s gotten so bad that David wrote an email to Shannon. He said he thinks he should move out for a while… Wow… Ouchie… I know that a lot of people like to express themselves in a written format rather than verbally – But to me this feels very “Burger Breakup via Post-it-Note” à la “Sex in the City.” Of course, this has thrown Shannon for a loop – and she maintains that divorce is not an option. She tells us that she loves her husband and wants to grow old with him. She wants to figure out how to make this all better. In her talking head interview, a light bulb went on above her head and she realized that she could get synced into being on the same sleeping schedule as her husband – That there’s no reason for her to stay up until midnight. While that may be true, in my opinion, there’s a flaw in her reasoning. The problem is that I don’t care how much I love and adore you – There is just no way that I am going to spend quality time with anyone at 4:30 AM on an everyday basis… There just isn’t…And the last thing I need when I’m trying to get myself ready in the morning is to have someone underfoot looking at me with puppy dog eyes trying to get me to have a quality conversation with them at 4:30 AM. I am getting ready and flying out the door – If I had an extra half hour in the morning – I would sleep an extra half hour…lol.
Tamra and Heather have a “Friendship Summit” because things felt awkward when they filmed the CUT Fitness segment at “Good Day LA.” Tamra once again said how hurt she’s been all these months… and Heather basically reiterated everything she’s said thus far about not having any say in who was scheduled for the original show. Tamra thinks Heather was “Frosty” when they filmed the segment… I think Tamra should be banished to the “Island of Misfit Toys” for being an ungrateful gooberhead. Heather thinks Tamra wanted to publically punish her at Shannon’s party. Heather thinks it’s silly that anyone would think she has the kind of power that ordains the guests of the show. She said she can make suggestions – but that it’s up to the Producers to decide on what happens on the show. Heather tells Tamra she’s sorry she’s upset. Cue waterworks from Tamra.
Heather says that she’s not perfect and she says things she wishes she didn’t say – She wants both of them to stop picking at each other because life is too short. She tells Tamra she would never intentionally hurt her and asks her to cut her some slack. They have a kumbaya moment…Tamra says the next step is for Heather is to be friends with Shannon – Heather tells Tamra not to push it…lol. Tamra says she’s drawn to Shannon because she can really relate to her. Four years ago, Tamra’s marriage was falling apart and she drank too much. They agree that Shannon is a sad, sad, soul. Tamra tells Heather that Shannon shared about some things that were going on in her marriage… Tamra thinks that if Heather could understand what Shannon is going through – Then she would cut her some slack…(Didn’t we JUST hear Heather asking Tamra for her to cut her some slack?… Wow, Tamra can’t even be original in her talking head…. lol…) Now, I don’t know if it was creative editing or what – but you don’t actually hear what Tamra says about Shannon’s marriage. I think what Tamra said or didn’t say to Heather will be important in the upcoming episodes…
The last scene of the night shows Shannon going over to Tamra’s house. Over-Sharing Shannon explains she’s had a rough couple of days. She got into a big argument with David. She knew Tamra would understand because of what she went through. She explains that David is a great dad. Shannon feels pathetic that she has to ask, beg, bitch or complain about why he’s not spending more time with her. She explains that when she feels connected with David she’s happy – But when she’s not – It’s not fun to be around her. She and David both came from broken homes and they don’t want to screw up their kids. She feels that David needs to make their relationship more of a priority. Tamra said that her breaking point in her marriage with Simon was when she realized that staying with him was negatively impacting the kids. Shannon cried with real tears and said that she felt like her marriage is falling apart. I believe her. I am sad for her and her kids.
Next week… While she’s still sitting on the couch talking to Tamra, Shannon receives a text message from David about how Heather Dubrow was discussing the email that David sent to Shannon about their marriage. Tamra immediately said she did not say anything to Heather about it… lolol… Shannon looks absolutely stunned and shell-shocked… There’s a scene involving live lobsters and Vicki so I’m sure there’s a contest to either see who has the strongest pincher or who tastes better after being slathered in butter… Tamra and Eddie take care of a fake baby… Lizzie doesn’t think that Tamra would purposefully try to hurt Shannon… (Oh that Lizzie, she so believes the best about these people… such a newbie mistake… lol) Shannon tells Tamra that she feels betrayed… Heather tells Shannon that they’re done… please leave… Wow…
That’s all for this week… Hope to see you next week… Happy trails!