Morning at the Antler Cabin is starting off better than the one at the Beaver Cabin. LuAnn returns from an early morning hike to a full breakfast, ordered by Kristen. The Beaver girls – well, at least Sonja and Ramona – aren’t enjoying anything. Sonja is trying to organize the refrigerator because the chaos gives her sleepless nights. She’s also at a loss for what to do because there are no men on the trip. She and Ramona aren’t happy because dinner is going to be at the cabin, prepared by a private chef. Sonja would much rather go out to eat so that she can see where Will Smith and Reese “Weatherspoon” hang out. From the sound of things, Harrison Ford could prepare dinner and Ramona and Sonja would still find something to complain about. Henry the ranch hand arrives to tidy up the place and Sonja tells him not to watch while she searches for her almond milk because she’s not wearing any panties. The refrigerator was chock full of lettuce – maybe Sonja could have fashioned some undergarments out of that.
The ladies have decided to go fly fishing – against the wishes of the constantly bitchy Ramona and Sonja. Montana is boring. Fishing is boring. The bears ate their breakfast. The antelope don’t know how to make a bed. Off they go, anyway, and when they reach the river, there’s more to gripe about. Ramona wants her waders designed by Prada because hers make her look like Humpty Dumpty. No, not even all the king’s horses, nor all the king’s men could make things better for Ramona. Sonja’s mood is somewhat improved as she helps the fishing instructor. Heather catches a fish, then loses it, then falls into the water. The fishing is over – the complaining by Ramona and Sonja is not.
Dinner goes as dinners with the Housewives often go – with an argument. Kristen and LuAnn hug over the fact that they’re two Connecticut girls, and Sonja starts to make faces at LuAnn. First the argument is about the rumors spread by the facialist which Kristen finds funny. Then the ladies talk about Aviva and her recent asthma diagnosis. Doctor Ramona tells the group that Aviva made up the asthma story because she can’t be away from Reid. Carole thinks Aviva has Munchhausen’s Syndrome. She wants to call Aviva to get to the bottom of the inhaler until she realizes that it’s too late to call someone in New York. LuAnn and Sonja are still battling over Satako’s bedtime stories and, LuAnn is still claiming that she’s with Jacques. LuAnn storms from the room, telling Sonja that she’s not her friend. Sonja says, “You lie down with pigs, you’re a pig.” Heather thinks that was a shitty thing for her to say. Ramona thinks that LuAnn wants Sonja but Sonja doesn’t want LuAnn. Kristen just thinks the whole thing is funny and that LuAnn may be a dominatrix.
Somehow, the sun manages to rise and the ladies go off for spa treatments. Sonja wants a cowboy to give her a massage – no surprise there. Ramona finally notices how magnificent the mountains are. LuAnn, Kristen and Carole go hiking, although Carole may not have understood and heads out wearing a silk dress. Both groups go right back to discussing the non-friendship between LuAnn and Sonja. Kristen thinks that Sonja is harboring a lot of hurt over her bankruptcy and LuAnn is angry that Sonja tried to break up her relationship with Jacques last year. Sonja is telling her audience that she doesn’t have a man to give her stability. And they haven’t even had lunch yet.
The afternoon means rappelling and skeet shooting with the ladies breaking into two groups, having chosen which they want to do. LuAnn, Heather and Kristen head to Lookout Rock to rappel 165 feet down the side of the mountain. Kristen is trying to be a good sport but feels that Heather is too competitive, calling her “Sporty Spice”. Heather tells the instructor that she’s been rock climbing. I’m pretty sure that she has also jumped out of airplanes, sailed in the America’s Cup race, reached the summit of Everest and wrestled grizzly bears – without ruining her manicure. Kristen goes first and is petrified, but manages to make it down without killing herself. LuAnn goes next, and although she wasn’t quite as graceful, makes it and then kisses the ground. Heather is the last to descend and doesn’t make a fool of herself. Kristen wonders why she bothered to do it at all. It could have been a foolish exercise, done only to prove something to a bunch of women, if she had been hurt.
Ramona, Sonja and Carole have chosen to pick up shotguns and try to hit flying clay. Sonja tries to charm the instructor, Paul, but ends up insulting him by asking if he dates his cousin. Dear Paul is no fool and very politely reminds her that the cousin thing is a not so nice stereotype about people from the country. Carole picks up her gun and hits her target. Sonja insists that it’s beginner’s luck, but Paul tells her that it’s having a good instructor. See, I told you Paul was smart and he seems to have Sonja’s number. Tourists… Sonja does pretty well with her shotgun, despite her ample bosom. According to the instructor, small bosoms make for better gun positioning. Ramona fires hers too soon, which Paul describes as premature detonation. I’m falling in love with Paul.
There’s one more activity but, first, the ladies have to find some privacy to take care of Nature’s call. Even the Countess dropped drawers and hid behind a bush with tissue in hand. Paul is waiting for them to explain how to use the GPS they’re going to need to go geocaching. Here’s a site about it – Geocaching – The Official Global GPS Cache Hunt Site. The only one with any serious interest is Kristen. The others are fooling around with sticks, or, in Ramon’s case, carrying an umbrella and sweating. LuAnn calls Kristen Pocahontas and Paul tells the Countess that Sacajawea would be a more appropriate name, given their location. Yes, my crush on Paul is official. Kristen is growing more frustrated with the group for not joining her in her search, saving most of her wrath for Heather. Heather is goofing around, and both she and Kristen think the other is drunk. Kristen thinks that Heather is rallying the women against her and Heather is now wondering aloud about Kristen’s obsession with the activity. Carole thinks it’s a control issue – Kristen had none on the side of a mountain and now wants to exert some over the game – and Heather. It’s a battle for the title of “Sporty Spice”. After a few more minutes of back and forth between the two, Heather gets a little mean, telling the others how Kristen cried when she finished her descent. In a voice loud enough for Kristen to hear, Heather asks why anyone would do something they don’t want to do and aren’t any good at, anyway.
The ladies are still in Montana next week and will go to a rodeo. They’re overdressed, probably over-served and the good people of Montana are, more than likely, over them.
Aviva was missing, again – from the show and the credits. Bravo is a cruel and confusing master.
Last week was knickergate at Marissa & Juliet’s Fourth of July party. Annabelle was appalled when Juliet pulled out some panties at the party, which led to Juliet yelling in the street at Annabelle. Caroline kept quiet & Caprice stuck up for Annabelle.
This week begins with Juliet making cookies with her kids. Cute scene. In her TH, Juliet says she does regret how the knickergate fight escalated, but that she isn’t willing apologize. Juliet is confused as to why Annabelle needed Caprice to back her up. I don’t think Annabelle needed Caprice’s backup, I think Caprice was just doing what any friend would do.
Caroline arrives at Annabelle’s for tea. Annabelle was shocked that Juliet followed her outside, but Caroline notes that Juliet acts first & thinks later. Annabelle informs us that she isn’t a prude & that the knickers were simply an excuse to leave the party. Quote of the show: “I had Daisy Duke on speed running after me.” Caroline didn’t like that Caprice jumped into the argument. She thinks that Annabelle & Juliet should have dealt with their issues on their own. I would have agreed with that if Annabelle had given any indication that she was going to deal with it. I think Caprice saw her friend leave upset & wanted to stick up for her. Maybe that’s an American thing? I do agree that having others involved can blow an argument out of proportion. There are races coming up at Sandown, but Caroline can’t attend & Annabelle is focused on the upcoming fashion show. She plans to invite Marissa & Noelle to attend. Neither Caroline nor Caprice can attend the fashion show.
Caprice is too busy with work for someone who is 7 months pregnant. She is getting ready to leave for LA to have her babies, so she needs to cram everything in. She wants to keep her business going, but also plans to take time to bond with her babies. It’s great to see her balancing work & family. She calls Julie to see if she wants to attend the race with her. She still thinks that Juliet’s behavior was uncalled for, but she sympathizes because she knows what it’s like to be new in London.
Juliet meets her husband for drinks. She is still upset about her fight with Annabelle. She thinks that Annabelle found the party too cheesy & American. Her husband wasn’t there for knickergate, so she gives him the rundown. He thinks that Annabelle was being passive-aggressive. He agrees that Juliet is usually right, but explains that the manner in which she blows up is intolerable. She doesn’t seem to see anything wrong with her delivery, but admits that her husband keeps her in check. They seem to balance each other well. Caroline calls & asks why Juliet would blow up on the street. She tells Juliet that her behavior was incorrect & that she should apologize. Juliet thinks that her explosion was necessary. Caroline asks Juliet to please make up with Annabelle so that they can all get along.
Juliet is having a hat party before the Sandown race, so that the ladies can all get an appropriate hat to wear. Noelle, Marissa, Caroline, Caprice, & Julie attend. Caroline isn’t a big hat person, even though they are considered stereotypically British. Caprice doesn’t wear hats, but thinks that it’s nice that Juliet found a way to bring everyone together. Kind of funny that the Americans are more excited about the hats than the Brits. Caroline loves the excitement that the Americans show about simple things.
Noelle joins Caprice & Julie at the bar. Noelle reiterates how much she admires & respects Caprice. Caprice understands the press, so she can understand how rough Noelle has it right now. Noelle gives some examples of how the press has manipulated the facts & published misconstrued facts. Caprice thinks that Noelle could use her advice with press. Julie & Juliet discover that they are both from Chicago & bond over their love of Target. What could be more American? Once all of the ladies gather, someone mentions Annabelle. Juliet says that the party was too last-minute for Annabelle to attend. Juliet says that she always does things last-minute, which Caroline says is not the British way. I don’t think Juliet should change everything about herself, but she does need to take the culture into consideration.
Noelle & Scot are looking at another apartment. They lost their apartment when he went to jail. Noelle has been staying with a friend & feels like she has worn out her welcome. Until the divorce is final, he is bankrupt. Noelle says that he is the poorest of all of the ladies’ husbands. Once the divorce is over, they will get a bigger place. While they are sitting on the couch we get to see the softer side of Scot. I hope that Noelle appreciates his sensitivity & not just his money.
Annabelle is getting back into the fashion industry. She took a break after Alexander’s death. The show that she’s working on is kind of grungy & futuristic. She’s happy to give a young designer a chance to put on a show. Just when everything is going well, there’s a leak over the runway & the rain is pouring in. Annabelle tells Marissa that it reminds her of how McQueen started. Jonathan Rhys Meyers makes an appearance & I died! Sorry, big Tudors fan, lol. Marissa is surprised by how calm Annabelle is. But Annabelle knows that you can’t cancel a fashion show, so they have to find a way to make it work. It was interesting to see Annabelle at work. She is much more assertive directing the models than she is in everyday life. The show turns out to be a success!
Caprice & Caroline are shopping for the shower that Caroline is throwing. Caprice brings up knickergate. Caroline says that Juliet was obviously inappropriate. Caprice calls Caroline out for not sticking up for Juliet. She understands why Caroline let Juliet have a go at Annabelle. Caroline & Caprice agree to disagree. Everything in the store is adorable & Caroline points out all of the things that her boys had. Caprice is beginning to think that their friendship is one sided. She feels that Caroline makes everything about herself. Caprice thanks Caroline for offering to have the shower, but says that she thinks it may be too far for her friends to drive. She suggests having it at a London restaurant. Caroline is not pleased. She lives only 30-45 minutes away from London & thinks that Caprice’s true friends will come. She wants to be able to control the party & not worry about the details at a restaurant. Here’s my take: I understand that people may not want to travel for the shower (I hate when people have events outside of town), but I agree that true friends will make the trek. Also, it is Caprice’s shower & she should have it her way. If she doesn’t want to travel, she shouldn’t have to.
Noelle is on the phone with Marissa. Her friend is freaking out because Noelle is still there & the move keeps getting delayed. Marissa assures Noelle that it will happen. Noelle needs to Scot to come through on this & says that she has already given him four of the best years of her life. She’s sacrificed a lot because of his personal issues. Marissa offers to let Noelle store anything at her home to get it out of her friend’s way. I hope Noelle appreciates what a good friend she has in Marissa! Noelle & Scot are shopping for wine. Noelle points out that if they were moving, like they were supposed to, they could get champagne. I’m sure Scot doesn’t appreciate constantly being called out for things that aren’t his fault. This is why I wouldn’t want to start a relationship with someone until the divorce was finalized – there’s too much uncertainty & they have little control over how long it will take. They are moving on Monday, but Noelle doesn’t believe him. Scot asks her to bear with him, but she’s had enough. She tells him that if they don’t move, she will find somewhere else to go.
It’s off to the races with Juliet, Marissa, Noelle, Caprice, & Julie! Noelle didn’t wear a hat because it didn’t go over well at the polo. Juliet & Marissa are the only ones with hats.
Caprice mentions that she spoke with Annabelle & that she thinks there is a personality clash between Annabelle & Juliet. Juliet says that she doesn’t feel bad about their fight. Caprice tries to point out that it would have gone differently if Juliet’s approach had been different. The other ladies are tired of hearing about it & so am I. Marissa, though she’s sitting next to them, decides to stay out of it. By the time they arrive, the mood has lightened, & Caprice & Juliet make up. Caprice & Julie go to find food, while the Americans place bets. Julie tells Caprice that she understands where Caprice was coming from in the car. I think she was just trying to help Juliet figure out how to navigate British culture, but it was obvious that Juliet doesn’t want the advice. All of the girls gather to sit on the bleachers & chat. Julie invites the girls to her family estate. Her in-laws are the Earl & Countess of Sandwich. Marissa notes that she’s still trying to become a British citizen while Julie is in line for the throne. Caprice notes the difference between the American Julie’s humility & the American Juliet’s outspokenness. I have a feeling this will come up again.
UPDATED June 27
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