The Montana trip is now a part of history and the ladies are back in New York City. Kristen, Josh, Heather and Jonathan are having dinner and the debate about bossiness continues. Heather and Josh are on the same page about being entrepreneurs but Kristen wants to be acknowledged for her role as wife and mother. Josh picked up and moved his family back to New York from Los Angeles when he started EBoost and Kristen just wants someone to recognize that being a supportive spouse is what makes things like that possible. Jonathan says that it’s good that they’re communicating about it. But they’re really not.
Ramona is at home with Mario and Avery and her friend Shane arrives with a song he’s written. Mario is going to sing at an open mic night at Birdland because his ego has no bounds. Unfortunately his musical ability does. He warbles his way through a smarmy ballad “Effortless”, while Ramona watches in a state of rapture. Shane thinks Mario should strip during his performance but he’s probably already done that.
Sonja is interviewing a young woman to be her 945th intern. The woman is a psychology major and Sonja forbids her from analyzing her. That’s probably wise. Sonja then rattles off the duties an intern is required to perform, really important things like carrying her purse and picking up her dresses at the dry cleaners. Mastering these tasks are going to help the young woman earn her degree – no doubt about it.
In the middle of the interview, Aviva drops by and Sonja fills her already paranoid head with tales from Montana. Aviva now knows that the ladies don’t believe the asthma diagnosis and that Ramona was leading the anti-Aviva charge, so she whips out her Advair inhaler and takes a hit, in case we missed any prior demonstrations. Sonja is impressed at its size. She tells Sonja that her lung capacity is less than 50% and that she “can’t f**king breathe”. That’s what she said and I’ll just leave it at that. Aviva, just as Sonja hoped, is now angry and starts ranting that maybe they think her fake leg is another way she’s faking things and it isn’t a fake leg but a real leg – or something like that. It’s hard to follow Aviva’s logic when she gets like this.
Carole is at her apartment which is undergoing renovations. She’s with her assistant and they’re sending off copies of her novel to “big mouths” who will read it and talk about it to others. Some of the “big mouths” who were getting the advanced copies were Barbara Walters, Katie Couric, Kelly Ripa and Ralph Fiennes. and yes, her assistant pronounced “Ralph” just as it’s spelled. Perhaps Sonja should ask her to be an intern.
Those Incredible Love Handles
Ramona, Sonja and Kristen visit Ramona’s plastic surgeon, Dr. Giese to have a little work done on their waistlines. Ramona wants the doctor to melt away the fat on her abdomen so that she’s in ti-top shape for her two husbands and Sonja thinks her love handles have become too much to handle. Dr. Giese uses external ultrasound to re-sculpt Ramona’s waistline. Then it’s Sonja’s turn. She thinks her love handles have grown into a muffin top but Kristen thinks that if they’re gone, Sonja’s lovers will have nothing to hold onto. She wants to be “light, tight and right” and tells the other women that those love handles, when they’re just the right size and are used properly, can come in handy when you’re trying to achieve a quick orgasm. Sonja would be better served working on her toaster oven, instead of giving away all of her other secrets.
Dinner at 6
Kristen is trying to make dinner for her family but doesn’t seem to know her way around her own kitchen. Josh was supposed to be home by 6PM but it’s already 6:30 and he’s just getting around to calling her to say that he’s on his way home. Kristen is clearly disappointed by his failure to call or email but he says that he was on a conference call and it ran longer than he’d expected. They argue, a little too loudly, on the phone. When he does get home, the argument continues. He thanks her for making dinner but she isn’t ready to let it go. She thinks he has no respect for her and her time. He then suggests they see a mediator to talk about what they don’t seem to be able to resolve on their own. She’s ecstatic at the though and bows down, shouting “Hallelujah!” Josh, however, has already made up his mind that the therapist will tell Kristen that he’s right and she’s the one who has to change. So much for going into this with an open mind.
LuAnn and Jacques are having their picture taken by a professional photographer. Who knows where those pictures are now.
Sonja and Harry are still trying to rekindle their decades old love affair and are having a picnic in the park. They were an item when they were much younger but Harry married Aviva, instead. There’s thirty years of shared history with Harry, Sonja and Ramona, and it would be great if Bravo viewers could hear about it. With the stories they could tell, they could probably have their own show.
Mario the Singer
Everyone is gathered at Birdland for open mic night. Ramona’s been enjoying more than a few cocktails and is wreaking havoc at every turn. First she’s in Mario’s ear, making fun of LuAnn for not being able to sing without auto-tune. Mario shushes her twice, then tells her to be quiet and finally says “I don’t want to talk to you.” Not to be deterred, Ramona moves on to LuAnn and begins to mock her about her singing. LuAnn insists that she’s not going on stage but the truth behind this scene played out on Twitter. LuAnn did, in fact, take the mic that night and sang “Big Spender”. Given her penchant for French men, or for all men in general, a better choice of song might have been “Lady Marmalade”. Bravo shows us some edited conversations in which LuAnn calls Ramona a cow and Ramona says that LuAnn is chicken shit.
While all of this love is in the air, Mario is introduced to the crowd and does his best to impersonate a crooner with “Effortless”. It wasn’t effortless at all, even for the audience, but Ramona and Sonja are mesmerized and they shed a couple of tears at the sound of his love ballad. LuAnn thinks he’s no Frank Sinatra. Heather is the next to sing and delivers an energetic and enthusiastic rendition of “Bill Bailey”. I don’t advise that she give up her day job, but she deserves kudos for being a good sport.
By Hydrangea Hussy
We left off at Mapperton, where Caprice had decided to leave early & Caroline had secured new minions. It’s the next morning & the ladies find Noelle still in bed, finishing coffee. Caprice is nowhere to be seen & Juliet informs them that Caprice left early with Julie & Annabelle. I admit that it was a little rude to leave without telling the group that she planned to travel with. Caroline thinks that Caprice is jealous that she has become friends with the Americans. “I can’t help it if they think I’m fab.” Juliet notes that she’s never seen so many people pretend to be friends but talk behind each other’s backs. She says that you would never get away with that in America. Ummm, you might not get away with it, but there are certainly plenty of people who do – has she seen any real housewives show? Marissa seems a little upset, but chalks it up to Caprice being pregnant & hormonal. She doesn’t want people to take sides. Juliet says that Marissa is trying to sugar coat everything & make Caprice look good. In her TH, Marissa notes that Juliet just won’t let her argument with Caprice go – like a dog with a bone. Juliet also says that she was “the nicest person ever” when she was pregnant. I was proud of Marissa, who simply responded that she wished she had known Juliet then.
Annabelle left Mapperton early to continue training for the race. She will be riding Mr. Fickle in 3 weeks so she’s working to get to know him. Her trainer points out that the horses become more agitated & competitive at the race, so the most difficult part is getting to the starting line. Annabelle admits that she’s nervous, but I think it’s really brave to do something so far out of her comfort zone. Annabelle says that friendship must be earned & that she’s slow to warm up to people. I can understand that. She relates more to animals.
Back in Mapperton, the group meets Luke for brunch. The champagne is poured & Luke notes that they’re missing someone. He asks why Caprice left early & Juliet says that she’s pregnant & probably tired. Noelle calls her out for speaking nicely now when she was just complaining about Caprice. Good for Noelle! Caroline attempts to move the breakfast along with a ‘cheers,’ but Marissa isn’t having it. She’s had enough. She leaves the table & Noelle follows to check on her. Marissa tells Noelle that she’s had enough of Juliet not listening to her. She admits that she may be overly empathetic, but doesn’t see that as a huge fault. She feels that Juliet expects her to be on-board with her opinion at all times. She was really hurt by Juliet’s Mother Theresa comment. Noelle tells her that Juliet just doesn’t understand Marissa’s constant good intentions & optimism, so Juliet thinks that Marissa is faking it. Noelle doesn’t think that Marissa & Juliet would be as close of friends if they weren’t two Americans in London.
Back at the table, Juliet says that Marissa tends to protect people who aren’t being nice. While that’s a sweet trait, Juliet wishes that Marissa would voice a solid opinion sometimes. Caroline ventures outside to bring Marissa back, with a slightly sarcastic “here comes the sensitive one.” I love that Caroline can laugh at herself & get others to laugh with her. Caroline explains that she doesn’t think Juliet meant anything as a personal dig, but Marissa doesn’t see it that way. She’s tired of being viewed as a doormat. I think that this is more about a series of events, rather than just a few comments in Noelle’s room. It seems that this has been building up for a while. They all return to the table, but Juliet won’t let it die. She tells Marissa that she didn’t mean to upset her. Marissa explains that she felt attacked. Rather than listen to how her words ma”
Juliet visits Caroline at work. They look at some very expensive new jewelry that has arrived. What a job! Not one to beat around the bush, Caroline jumps into Mapperton. She tells Juliet that they were having a wonderful breakfast & suddenly everyone was crying. She is very honest, telling Juliet that she doesn’t know when to stop. Juliet has to learn to be a little more reserved now that she’s chosen to live in England. I think that you shouldn’t have to leave yourself behind if you move to a new country, but you also have to be conscientious of the new culture that you’ve chosen. Juliet doesn’t seem to have done that part. Caroline hopes that Juliet won’t cause a scene at Noelle’s charity event. Caroline gives a Juliet an “I work for Caroline Stanbury” shirt & Juliet proceeds to add “I’d rather die than.”
Noelle is hosting a charity event for Chasing Zero, an AIDS foundation. She’s happy to be moving forward from Scot’s scandal. Caprice & Julie are attending together. Caprice lets Julie know that the girls were pissed off that she left early. She thought it was nice that Noelle alerted her. At the party, Noelle is doing a good job of fundraising. Caroline & Caprice avoid each other. Annabelle & Marissa discuss the upcoming race. Marissa is nervous for Annabelle. Juliet calls Marissa as she’s arriving & asks Marissa to come outside for a quick chat. Looks like Juliet is taking Caroline’s advice & discussing their issues in private. Juliet says that she won’t push Marissa’s buttons anymore & apologizes. Marissa says that Juliet’s feelings are valid, but that her execution was wrong. The two kiss & makeup.
Caroline tells Noelle about her own charity, which raised tons of money without any events. Noelle feels that Caroline is always trying to prove how great she is. Caprice pulls Noelle to the side. She tells Noelle that she would love to help Noelle. She asks Noelle if she was upset that she left Mapperton early. Noelle says that she was not, but that she doesn’t want to be in the middle. She thinks that Caroline is a good contact to have & doesn’t want to be on her bad side. Caroline thinks that Noelle believes that she needs Caprice to be successful, but says that sometimes you have to make choices in life. I think that Caroline & Caprice are both very successful women & that they have different views about business. Both could be helpful to Noelle, who will have to find her own way.
Caroline, Juliet & Noelle are shopping at Roberto Cavalli. We know that Cavalli is a friend of Caroline’s. They have a bottle of champagne while shopping & talking. Juliet selects a purple blouse & asks about Caroline’s friends & family discount. Noelle announces that she & Marissa hosting a baby shower for Caprice. Caroline is taken aback because she was originally asked to host. She finds it very rude & I kind of agree. Noelle thinks that Caprice’s decision may have something to do with their argument, but Caroline doesn’t think so. She thinks that they have moved on, but they still seem to be at odds. If Caroline really wants to move on, she should just move on & stop being stand-offish to Caprice. Caroline says that she will send her gift because that’s the way things are done. Noelle thinks that Juliet is becoming Caroline’s minion, while Juliet thinks that Marissa is becoming Caprice’s minion. Noelle doesn’t want to be in the middle! I hope that the group can mend itself, because I was enjoying the lack of drama.
Annabelle is continuing her training. She feels off when Mr. Fickle is fidgety. Her trainer advised that fighting the horse never works, so you have to let them have their way & deal with it later. They decide to try galloping, to get a feel of what it will be like on race day. Annabelle is really getting a feel for it & becoming excited about the race. Then she is thrown while the horse was traveling apx 45 mph. She suffered a broken her pelvis. Thankfully, Bravo didn’t air the fall, but cut to Julie traveling to see Annabelle. Annabelle is trying to be strong, but it’s obvious that she’s in a lot of pain. Julie is clearly scared for her friend. While Annabelle may seem tough on the outside, it’s clear that she has deep friendships with the women that she chooses to let in.
Real Housewives Of New York Cast Blogs for S6E17
Kristen: I Took It Out on Heather
I was soooo upset! Ugh I lost it on Heather and needed out ASAP! I stormed out of those damn woods. . .and cried like a little baby. I needed it. I was on an emotional roller coaster after the repelling. I was exhausted from the late nights and early mornings and all of that damn drinking! I was getting beat down by all of the woman commenting on being a sh– hostess. And well. . .the new girl lost it in the woods. Yup lost it. It was like a pressure cooker and I exploded and I took it out on Heather — and looked a little crazy. Oops sorry, Heather, my bad.
After the rappelling, I can see how you had the same emotions after you did the Spartan race and Heather took the place of Josh. At least she didn’t tell you to “man-up”. At least not in so many words.
OMG! Look at Ramona taking over hosting duties for me. She was actually taking my side on some things, and at same time making snide remarks about me every chance she could get. The best part — she did it all with wet hair and no blow dry! Ha. Well, she has come a long way. Baby steps. . .
I can tell you are not really insulted when someone calls you a bad hostess. I guess there are worse things. But really, what could these girls need that they can’t manage on their own. I think most people just need help with the suitcases, a clean place to shower & sleep and be aware of when meal times are.
Glamping: This whole place was just so gorgeous and beautiful! Just a bummer that I had a crazy knot in my stomach over the argument with Heather. I hated every minute of not talking to Heather. This whole thing was so hard for me. She was pissing me off and I told her so. I told you I am not one to keep things in.
Heather was three sheets to the wind which is usually the condition that Ramona and Sonja are in on vacation. Why take her comments seriously? Kristen seems to be a drama queen. Sometimes people aren’t into the same stuff ya know.
One minute Ramona is a total biatch and the next my only ally. I could not believe that she came to check on me! At that point I was happy who ever it was. Ugh NOT OK what she said about Jonathan.. I feel horrible that I didn’t defend him. I was so mad at the time that I wasn’t thinking straight. That was not nice at all because Jonathan is such a great guy on all fronts.
I think Ramona feels compassion and believes that people shouldn’t have too many stressors at one time. I’m sure she’ll wait her turn.
The Rodeo: Wow. Such a cool experience! We were a bit over dressed for the crowd, but hey, that’s what we like to do! Lu and I in the port-a-potty! #priceless #countessinaportapotty How funny.
I liked your outfits especially Carole’s. Bringing toilet paper is always a good idea.
The hatchet throwing was hilarious. WOW! And go figure Heather nails it first throw. She is unbelievable!
I wouldn’t mess with her.
Fighting or arguing with someone just sucks and when it is a friend it just makes it worse. I am happy that Heather and I were able to make up. I know now that I was projecting and that I really took all my frustration out on Heather. I felt so bad watching the episode because I was so mean to Heather. I am just so fortunate to have her as a friend and how supportive she was. Also sorry for not defending Jonathan.
Defending Jonathan? She brought it up and Ramona agreed he was “vanilla.” It’s not a bad thing. Someone is usually the dominant one in the relationship and it takes a secure man to let his wife take the lead.
All in all, Montana was the best worst trip of my life. Ha ha, no if you get a chance — go. It’s wonderful!!!
LuAnn: Ramona and Sonja Were Diva Brats
Ramona’s efforts to arrange drinks, cheese and crackers for us after a long day of geo-caching was much appreciated. I can say a lot of things about Ramona, but I have to hand it to her when it comes to partying. Turtle time just isn’t the same without a little grub in your belly and a drink in your hand! It was nice to be out of my house as the tension was a little thick between Heather and Kristen. I knew that dinner was going to be a rough one?
Well that’s generous of you.
I was really looking forward to glamping. I haven’t been camping in quite a while and I must say this was a really chic way of doing it, In fact, I wouldn’t do it any other way! The cabins were beautiful and we had an incredibly nice staff looking after us the whole time, including cowboys who would walk you back and forth to your cabin in the dark. Thank God! The food was good and it was a beautiful night to be in the wilderness.
I wondered if you invited those cowboys back to your bunk with you. Oh wait, that honor is usually reserved for pirates.
I thought Ramona was incredibly rude to trash Kristen’s ability to be a hostess. Ramona can be very demanding and Kristen wasn’t prepared for a woman like this! Sure there could’ve been more attention paid to drinks and snacks, but we aren’t kids who can’t wait for the meal to come. Your guests you learn to go with the program, which is not Ramona’s specialty. I usually load up on things at the airport in case of emergency when I’m going to uncharted waters.
And that generosity didn’t last very long.
Sonja was chiming right in with Ramona as usual in regards to Kristen’s hostessing skills. Both of them were acting like diva brats! I expect it from Ramona but Sonja? She has changed so much these days. I don’t even recognize the Sonja I once knew. Of course, when Ramona is around it only gets worse! Ramona doesn’t affect Sonja in a positive way. I don’t even trust her anymore and that’s why I refer to her at the wicked step sister — nice one minute and nasty behind your back the next. I’m very saddened by our relationship at the moment!
They were also tooting their own horns. I think they feel they should have planned the trip rather than Kristen. I wonder how the producers choose this stuff.
I loved the rodeo! Bucking broncos is something I’ve never experienced. The whole day was just awesome. I loved the people and the way they love their craft. The kids riding the sheep was the cutest thing ever. My least favorite was the port-a-potties (had to look that spelling up) LOL! When you gotta go you gotta go. I find holding your nose to be the most practical thing to do in this situation. It’s not the first time I’ve been in one obviously!
Class with the Countess 2 (how to use a port-a-potty)
I was happy that by the end of the trip Kristen and Heather finally made up.. I thought the fight was ridiculous to begin with. Who is Kristen to judge Heather and vice versa? I like them both very much so I’m glad they let it go! It would be a pity to end the trip on a sour note. Apart from all the drama we had a GREAT TIME and I’ll never forget repelling off that mountain EVER!
Sonja’s the Hostess With the Mostess
I shouldn’t say Kristen or Carole are bad hostesses. They just don’t have the experience I have. It’s been my business for decades now. I throw parties every week. I have dinner every night at my home, for no less then five people on average, and sometimes I have last minute dinners for tens of people impromptu. I’m asked many times to organize a Sonja In the City event in a matter of days. When someone else’s plan falls through they can always count on me.
Sell baby, sell.
I also have huge team of people I have cultivated over years to do public relations, sponsor events, perform, help with the invites, RSVPs, decor, and anything you can think of when throwing throwing an event. For example the Sonja In The City charity event in East Hampton became tricky because I needed places for 90 actors, Broadway performers, dancers, and singers to stay. That was not easy, but my contacts over the years came through. Hotels, homes, yachts, you name it, they stayed there.
I guess going to that restaurant in Missoula may have been good for business so I can see why you were bummed that you guys didn’t get to go.
After geocaching I was happy Ramona took the initiative to have refreshments. I kept saying “Who has the refreshments?” They should have had a golf cart with a cooler. You didn’t hear me saying that. I was dying in the dry woods looking for a box with dice in it as our prize. One piece of the dice! How do you say one dice? Die? Yes DIE! That what I wanted to do. It was hot, dry and dusty and no refreshments. Then you win one piece of the dice. Die.
That was your prize? A die? Can you play any games with one die?
I didn’t want to wake up for glamping, but there is no fighting Ramona. You roll with the punches. She would not go without me for sure! I’m like her lucky penny. Boney Sony. She even wore my purple marchesite necklace from Mazzani Jewels inside out and upside down. It’s supposed to go on doubled. She doesn’t care as long as she has something of mine on. It makes her feel close to me.
Oh, how sweet.
When LuAnn says I’m like family it’s because she knows we have that trust level. So why is she questioning it? I know our relationship will always be there because she is obviously going through something. People who know us both and especially my friends of decades know I wouldn’t throw her under the bus. So her perception is just that her perception. Obviously I’m not jealous of her. I always want her happy. Hell! Who wants a friend nagging on them? We have only been friends for five or six years and mostly socially — so I don’t need to see this side of Lu!
Considering what the facialist was gossiping about I could see how Lu would have thought you were sneakily trying to out her. I don’t think it is anything to take seriously unless there was a grain of truth behind the gossip. Lu should have laughed it off like everyone else.
The fight with Heather and Kristen wasn’t surprising at all since Kristen has been outwardly judgmental and critical of everyone. For a new friend, I find it strange, but I see so many come and go. It’s really not my concern. I thought she was fine as a social friend. It’s when she called me delusional with her husband while not knowing my businesses nor my business plan that I decided I better not waste my valuable energy helping her. That’s not the kind of friends that I have built my life with. I do NOT think what I have built is delusional. It’s VERY REAL and I spend LONG, real days managing my businesses that I have worked on building since 14 years old. I have created tens of millions of dollars. I do not ask my girlfriends what they do to manage their finances and businesses. I support their dreams. I listen. I have built what I have from love and light, not from fear. I will continue to build while others try to poo poo my vision. There will always be those who are naysayers. But I have achieved much through visualization and will continue to dream and manifest.
I guess people would wonder whether your businesses are a dream or a reality.
Kristen’s statement about Heather being bossy in her marriage crossed the line. I think when she couldn’t get a rise out of Heather she resorted to that to get the attention she has been vying for all along. Ramona trying to make peace took the cake but of course she insults poor Jonathan in the process. I find him adorable and extremely attractive. Don’t you?
He is adorkable. Though, I’m beginning to wonder if Sonja met a man she didn’t find attractive. Until George, that is.
I always make fun of Ramona’s clothes, hats, bags shoes, etc., because she gives me comedic licence. Making fun of Ramona’s big underwear was just a way to be cute with the girls (since no men were around) and to show my intimacy with her. I used to be able to call Lu “Pumpkin Head” and myself “Pin Head” like we did in London last year, but these days she is very sensitive. There is obviously more going on then she is telling me. When Ramona comes back with the fact I expose my “t— and ass” I have to laugh. She’s always been a prude compared to my half-naked modeling day ways. That’s what makes our relationship dynamic and fun! We are Laverne and Shirley in that way. If she is down or I am out of sorts and we have a spat, it’s just a sisterly tiff or an annoyance — not a do or die. We are like the Golden Girls now. LOL.
I’m surprised your half nude modeling stuff hasn’t come out yet unless everyone has seen it already. Modeling nude isn’t a bad thing. It’s just distasteful if you let photos leak for attention.
Heather: I Don’t Apologize for Being a Boss
“I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: ‘Try to please everybody.'” —Herbert Swope
I never thought I would say this but, I’m happy I’m drunk. What started with Kristen and I throwing back a few at lunch to calm the leftover reverb of a harrowing experience on that cliff, has somehow turned into me getting hollered at — and it ain’t my kind-a holla! We are both beer buzzin now, and I’m not mad Kristen turned into Geocaching Jane. I didn’t want to play. I was happy just messin’ in the woods and being silly. I’m hanging not realizing you need at least six players to play? Cause you don’t. You can geocach with as little as one!
Better to be a happy drunk than a violent or depressed one.
I am sorry to realize Kristen is not having a good time, but I’m not sure what else I can do about it. I’ve supported her in every way I can. First, lining up happily for the trip to begin with, then supporting her decisions throughout the trip, and showing up at every activity and event with bells-on! Just because I didn’t feel like geo-chasing some buried box, I was still there — enjoying the outdoors and a carefree moment not bothering anyone (except Kristen apparently). And if that makes me a bossy pants? Well, then I’m a bossy pants — however little sense that makes to me. And she’s just a-beer-buzz-killing little tracker, but I can chalk it up to misguided anger. It’s not a big deal.
You=Josh I think she feels insecure with you around. She is not managing a company and keeps getting reminded by her husband that she has no idea what it takes to manage a company and what he does during the day. I think she just wants someone paying attention to her and support her which he seems to do a sucky job at. It really isn’t Heather’s fault.
I’m just happy to be back at the ranch and to see Ramona, of all people, with a fresh cold beer and a warm welcome. Why stop now? We are on vacation in the middle of the countryside! Radz is off to check-on Kristen, and I’m thinking a little cool down before venturing into the wild and into further isolation with her might be a good thing! I’m sure she’ll come around. . .I did pick up this buzz WITH Kristen after all and maybe a little time apart will put us back together again.
You just might take over the Queen of Turtle Time title from Ramona.
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
The “glamping” tents are warm and lovely, but the chill I’m getting from Kristen is cold. The change of scenery has done nothing to change her mood. For me — it’s over. We’ve packed up and moved on, but Kristen is stuck. Stuck on that cliff, and stuck in unhappy. I rib her to trying to break the ice but no such luck. Maybe if I try another elixir it will help numb the chill I’m getting from her? I’m not entirely sure of what I’ve done? I’m tired of the kvetching, at every turn on this trip and now I am dragging from a day of drinking, that started off fun, but has ended so poorly. Maybe if I switch to wine the sugar will be a pick me up? All I know is that I’m stuck now too. Stuck in further isolation with a friend who got me here in the first place who’s now done nothing but throw me shade. I just want to get through this dinner, (if I can find the tent!?!), and go sleep this whole thing off. But there’s no shot at keeping things moving. Kristen is still harping on me and it’s becoming a joke at this point. The sugar in the wine is working and I’m up and rolling with the silliness of it all, but then here comes a jab about me bossing Carole around and then the right hook at my relationship with my husband and how I boss him around. There is nothing like a good jab to sober you up and she’s finally got my attention. Don’t I WISH I could boss Jon around! Ha! What the hell is wrong with her?
Poor Jon is getting the pointy end of the stick and he wasn’t even there.
“No man is good enough to govern another man without that other’s consent.” —Abraham Lincoln
I am an energetic, enthusiastic person. I like to initiate things and make things happen, which sometimes can make me a better player than a spectator. I do have a need for excitement, and it pushes me into new territories and makes me an action oriented person. I don’t shy away from taking risks and I do love a good adrenaline rush. And when the going gets tough, I get going — which folks can take as being bossy. I am an Aries. I am a leader. And I am the Boss. And I don’t apologize for it. Being a leader takes vision. Being the boss means defining and exhibiting moral and ethical courage and setting an example, but it also forces you to analyze your own strengths and weaknesses, and enables you to develop a good sense of reality.
What’s with the quotes? Feeling inspirational?
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right–for you’ll be criticized anyway.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
Ramona just loves a good bone to chew on. She has no case against my husband. Jon has never taken an opportunity to get to know Ramona because he’s seen enough. It’s amazing to me, women in glass houses throwing stones at one another. While Ramona delights in her own opinion that Mario can light up a room, I can delight in a sound and dedicated marriage built on love and trust and admiration. While I know Kristen doesn’t agree with Ramona, who is the first one to throw darts at Josh, not saying anything makes it worse. My relationship with my husband is one of the things I am most proud of in my life. That, and the two beautiful children we made together. Jon and I are a team. We’ve built a wonderful life together and we’ve worked very hard for everything we’ve built together — he is my rock. Jon and I have faced some pretty big challenges early on in our marriage that had every ingredient to tear it down. But instead, our struggles have brought us closer. In our 11 years of marriage, our relationship has grown stronger with every year. We navigate our lives together, recognizing our individual strengths, helping to balance each other’s individual weaknesses, celebrating our accomplishments and learning from the difficulties. And what I know for certain, above the jabs and beneath the hating, is that I am the luckiest girl in the world to be loved by him.
I don’t think anyone is criticizing your marriage; it’s just about you being bossy. Unfortunately Kristen pulled Jon’s name into the mix and Ramona agreed he has the appearance of a wet noodle. It is okay to be the one in charge in your marriage.
“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” —John Lennon and Paul McCartney
If a nerve has been struck with me that cries foul, I will not think twice before being confrontational, asking pointed questions that can potentially harm a relationship, or electing that people own accountability for their actions. I do it from a very honest and passionate place. My heroes stand up for what they believe in, and I am passionate about what I believe in — which I realize can sometimes make me insensitive of other’s emotions or make me look arrogant. Arrogant I am not. Stubborn however, when I believe I am right, I am. But a loving, supportive and honest friend, I am more. . .Hard shell, soft center.
“A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit.” — John Maxwell
Ramona: Just Don’t Ask Me to Go Every Year
There was no way I would leave this trip early by calling in a private plane. I know I would never be able to live it down with the ladies. Since I had no choice but to stay, I decided to make most of it. I decided I would treat the women, including Kristen, to cold drinks and snacks. I have always loved entertaining and making people feel comfortable (even though I know it’s hard for you viewers to believe this LOL!). I knew the ladies would need refreshments, so I decided to put out a pretty spread.
The ladies were definitely happy to see the alcohol. It seems like everyone is adapting to your “turtle time” frame of mind especially Heather.
The glamping tents were luxurious and quite stunning. I was looking forward to a wonderful meal in a beautiful setting. I realized it would be cold and got our butler to get heaters for our dinner outside. I even asked if he had wines ready to go and what variety so they would be ready as soon as the ladies showed up. These are some things a hostess would normally do — and since Kristen wasn’t having the best day I decided to take on the role. I never would have mentioned what I was doing for the dinner, but Kristen was saying how she was being a great hostess and my mouth got the best of me!
Those beds looked heavenly. It would have been gracious of you if you could concede that Kristen was responsible for certain things on the trip.
I thought Heather was very funny when drunk. Her best line was, “I have a solid buzz that I plan to continue.”
I think I’ll use that line someday.
Poor Kristen is no match for Heather. I felt bad for her when she left the table. Kristen was trying her best, and sadly her efforts were not really appreciated. I felt terrible that she left the table and felt compelled to calm her down and bring her back to the group.
And dissing poor Jon at the same time. You never know with people, they may be the life of the party once they feel comfortable with the people around them..
The rodeo was so much fun. We all really enjoyed it, especially me!
Tying up cattle seems like fun. Those poor animals.
Throwing the hatchet was scary and intimidating. It reminded me of the movie The Shining or a horror film.
The Salahis were frightening enough. I hope Bravo never shows an actual Real Housewives horror film where someone finally snaps and goes Glenn Close on everyone.
I could not take it that Heather and Kristen still had not made up. They were always friends and this was just getting silly and out-of-hand. I decided to get them together, and I am so glad I did.
Taking credit left and right, huh?
I must say all-and-all, even though I complained a lot, I did really enjoy the trip and it was stunning scenery. We had lots of fun and did many different things.
Just don’t ask me to go every year.
I think it was a nice change. I have always been curious about Montana and the type of accommodations they would have.
Carole: Oh Beautiful for Spacious Skies. . .
Oh Beautiful for Spacious Skies…
My Summer Vacation
I’m keeping this short. I’m on vacation for the next two weeks. Italy, then London with a short stay in Paris. I’ll send postcards. On my real vacations, I meet up with friends and we go for walks on the beach. We stroll through old cities, swim in the sea, and take afternoon naps. We shop, lunch, and, yeah, drink.
How nice to go on vacation with your real housewives friends and then your real friends.
We never fight. All the beautiful ancient churches and pyramids do look the same after awhile. And my limit for almost anything is three. I’ll go on three hikes, do three watersports, wander three times through crumpled ruins. But I check out after three — except museums. As hard as I try I cannot get myself to three museums in any one city. The only museum I’ve ever really enjoyed was the Picasso Museum in Barcelona and I think that’s because it’s small and you can touch things. But I digress.
I once touched a modern furniture piece in a museum in Stockholm and got warned by the security guards that I would get kicked out if I did it again. I just didn’t realize it was part of the museum. It looked like a chair in my living room.
We have late boozy lunches and festive dinners that run into the night. We get drunk and we gossip. We’re pretty good about muddling through without insulting each another. I’ve been told I’m a good guest. I don’t take up much space, I don’t eat a lot, and I keep my complaints to a minimum. I do hate air conditioning and early mornings, but my friends all know this and plan accordingly.
The Trees Are The View!
Admit it, you knew it was going to happen. Kristen is a shitty hostess. I was a sh–ty hostess in St. Barth’s and Kristen is a sh–ty hostess in Montana. I don’t shed a tear over Sonja’s opinion of my hostessing skills. I agree. She’s better at it than me. She was a hostess at a tony New York restaurant. She has mad hostess skills. I don’t think enough about my hostessing skills, but maybe one day that will change and I’ll be the Babe Paley of hostesses. Until then, I’d rather be thought of as a sh–ty hostess then sh–ty guest. Kristen, however, is more sensitive to criticism than me. She’s also prettier, taller, and cries more than I do. See we’ve all got our stuff.
I guess Ramona and Sonja could be thought of as a sh-tty guest.
Having traveled with this group on several trips now I can say, unequivocally, that Heather is the only one of us who is both good hostess and good guest. No, wait. LuAnn is, too. Heather is kind when she is sober, and funny as hell when she’s drunk. Like right now as we wander through the thicket looking for a cache that no one, except for Kristen, is interested in finding, Heather is funny.
Luann hosted the trip to Morocco but that was pre-Carole. I guess it’s her turn if she is back to housewife status.
Our trip, I think, can be summed up in two lines:
Carole: “Can we take a moment to enjoy the view?”
Ramona: “You can’t see it. There are too many trees in the way!”
As sure as a one-legged duck swims in circles, at least once every three episodes someone will be called the “B” word. Bossy.
At least she is not being called “not a girl’s girl.”
Bossism is an affliction of Housewives. We all get accused of it at one time or another. But Kristen is right, it’s not the same as alcoholism (I was using an extreme to make a point. Why do some of the ladies take everything I say literally? It makes me crazy.) But the more alcohol consumed the bossier everyone gets so maybe there is a correlation.
Alcohol gives the you the balls to say “I don’t give a crap.”
Another Housewife-ism. Own it. You can behave like a jerk as long as you own it. Kristen owned Geocaching. She was upset Heather didn’t own Bossypants. Then Heather owned it. Ramona owned her underwear. Sonja owned the cowboys. It really makes the ladies mad when someone doesn’t own it. Lets see what I own:
- – I own that I am not cut out to be Julie McCoy.
- – I own that I can be stubborn.
- – I own my fabulous pink satin “hiking dress.”
- – I own that sometimes I only pretend to listen to Ramona.
- – I own that I don’t enjoy creating unnecessary conflict.
- – I own creating conflict if someone disrespects me, my family, or my career.
- – I own the adjectives I used to describe Aviva.
- – I own that I dislike hurtful gossip and people who spread it.
- – I own that sometimes I, too, like to gossip.
- – I own that I’m an Almond Joy: mushy on the outside, a hard nut inside.
Ramona “Goodwill Ambassador” Singer?
Not so fast. OK, I’m going to say it. It’s my first time this season so by my own definition I’ve got 16 more times to say it. Here it is: Who Does That? Who talks about a good friend’s husband like that? Even if Kristen does feel unappreciated. Even if Ramona doesn’t know him well. Who Does That? (Second time.) I’ve watched this scene twice now and it makes me so mad I only wish I were there when it was said.
Jon got the shaft.
Heather is the least serious of the gang. Jonathan has the best personality of all the husbands. Jonathan is nothing like vanilla. Jonathan is like an ice cream sundae, with whipped cream and sprinkles and nuts. And yes they are right about one thing, Jonathan doesn’t walk into a room like an arrogant jerk.
Not liking Josh and Mario huh?
Here are a few other things Jonathan is: he is a good friend, he listens intently, he is thoughtful in his responses, he is considerate. So back up bitches. You’ve just angered the nut in my Almond Joy.
I think the important thing is he is nice. It’s no one else’s business what the relationship between Heather and Jon is. As long as they are happy. I think neither Kristen or Ramona are happy in their current marriage state.
Rode-Oh No You Didn’t.
Yeah we did. We overdressed. I thought we looked great. I thought we looked idiotic. The rodeo wasn’t what I expected. It was more violent than I expected. It was dustier. I thought the animals were getting hurt. I didn’t like the little kids being thrown. I didn’t get the point of lassoing cattle on a bucking bronco. Sorry I can’t offer more observation than that. The ladies sitting behind us were very sweet and the one with the super short brown hair saved my seat when I went to the latrine.
It seems like a historic re-creation for the public.
Who would you like to chuck off the chuck wagon?
A Seattle Sonic basketball player! Hatchet throwing is a big surprise. What can we say about hatchet throwing. Is watching cooking so exciting? Maybe as much as flashing a squirrel. Heather won, as usual. Luann was a close second. The rest of us sucked.
We had a better time than you all saw. The show always focuses on drama. Yes, we got on each other’s nerves, we drank too much, and slept too little. But we also had a blast at a local bar. We met the most interesting people. We went dirty dancing, we twirled and two-stepped. We raced three-wheelers through wide open fields, we sang patriotic songs, we rode horses to places so beautiful, and saw views so majestic it would make even me cry (it did). We saw a part of the country that people rarely get to see. It was magnificent. We are lucky, I’m owning that. We have a beautiful country. We are blessed. We were all happy we didn’t have asthma.
It would have been nice to see you guys have a good time for the most part. Editing should do a better job if they want to continue the show.