Project Runway: Road To The Runway
S13E1 The Judges Decide
By Princess Pindy
Project Runway….. now THIS is my favorite reality show. This is the only reality show that I think, in my deluded mind, I could actually do. It doesn’t involve eating gross things or doing ridiculous physical activities beyond my abilities, like leaving my house. I love to sew!! I learned to sew from my mother and took classes in Junior High, when California had money for their schools. I am teaching my daughter to sew. So there!
This week’s episode of Project Runway is actually two episodes. The first episode is “Road to theRunway” where we meet the designers. They are all people who have tried out before and didn’t make it. Some more than once…. they are auditioning and showing their creations to various judges, Tim Gunn included. Some I recognize as past contestants and some I don’t know who they are. There are a lot of people to track and I am not good at that. I don’t even remember names of character on shows that I watch. I just use descriptions in my mind “the guy with the funny hair”, “the woman with the annoying voice”, this could be tricky. Being that I just finished the traumatizing experience of getting ready for Comic Con, I will probably be at my most benevolent this week. Would I say that I ended up under the dining room table in a ball sobbing? Yes, I would say that because I’m using a voice recognition software to write my blog since my arms hurt so much from hand sewing, ripping out seams, and then re-sewing. So yes, I would say that. I can’t promise that I will stay benevolent, because as the memory of the pain and anguish of Comic Con fades I will start getting irritated, hence more judgmental. However for the first week I plan on being nice and try and put myself in their shoes because that’s where I’ve been for the last two or three weeks. I can’t guarantee that I will last more than a few minutes, LOL! Also, I have the ability to change my mind from week to week and even from commercial break to commercial break.
Remember, for your own safety, this is all In Princess Pindy’s Humble Opinion, IPPHO. I don’t know them and I rarely get emotionally involved. I know in the past I have liked some of the stronger women that turned off a lot of people. I am mostly interested in skill…and talent. Personality is secondary to me, IPPHO. There is also the question of “taste”, we all don’t have the same taste or style. I might think something is ugly and you might love it and vice a versa. I also believe that production allegedly puts one or two people on the show that are there for drama or controversy. I do know that in the preview with Heidi and Tim, Heidi looked fabulous and of course Tim is just a sweetheart and I love him. I just have to say this software is so cool.
Road to the Runway introduces us to the Season 13 contestants. They are all people who have tried out before and didn’t make it. Some more than once…. they are auditioning and showing their creations to various judges, Tim Gunn included. Some I recognize as past contestants and some I don’t know who they are. So half way through, after taking dutiful notes on each of the first half of eighteen designers, yes, eighteen, wtf did I sign up for, lol, I realized I could sum up the whole hour in a few paragraphs….
There’s a few that stood out. Carrie with purple hair, a comic book changed her life, I know the feeling, Sean, guy from New Zealand, Nzinga who is Muslim and makes beautiful, modest clothing, Char from Detroit, her stuff is really nice and Tim that worked at Macy’s doing alterations, he knows how clothing is put together. They are my favorites, so far. Too tired to use semicolons. Hernan seems like a real professional, his stuff is amazing and I think he is a ringer and it doesn’t seem fair for him to be in the competition……IPPHO. Alexander is very young. I don’t like his stuff that much. He is fascinated by bugs, oh brother that’s ugly. This stuff could be at Comic Con. LOL! He has a coat that looks like a prison uniform from the 30s. Okay, he redeemed himself with his little black dress. His stuff reminds me of what you see on runways when designers try to be edgy… The judges are going to LOVE him!!! Mitchell is annoying and he got a “maybe”, lol. So much for my “Personalities don’t matter.” I am such a Liar Face!!! On the Lifetime website he has under his picture “The Mitchell Project”. I guess I will call this “The Princess Pindy Project”, lol!! He makes “Hobo chic men’s jumpsuits.” I think that I will make Orson and MTH male jumpsuits for my next project!!!!
But you know what, it doesn’t really matter how good you are. How you work under pressure and a team challenge can blow you out of the water so we will see if any of my picks make it to the end. Now on to the show!! Project Runway Season 13, Episode 1!! I am talking about it as I’m watching the show, just saying what’s on my mind and my software is going to write it out and I will edit it, I think that will be fun. (maybe I won’t edit it…hahaha, nah, I better edit it, this train of thought is a wild ride, chugga-chugga-choo-choo!!! Oh my daughter Princess Beanie Boo just joined me! So here we go!! (I left some of the funnier mistakes that the software made “in” and I am sorry for the “tense” and any punctuation issues, editing after the fact is odd).
THE FINAL AUDITIONS
Eighteen designers are coming to the last audition and they will be narrowed down to 15. Three go, I can pick three right now and I haven’t even watched the show. Nina Garcia, Zac Posen and Heidi will make the final decision. I can’t even imagine how nervous these people are. I just watched the hour of these designers and the stuff they are showing in this final audition looks a lot better than the stuff that they showed before. They have been working their butts off. Not only did they have to sew this stuff now they have to stand in front of the judges and speak about it and answer questions.
I hope Mitchell does not make it through I don’t think I can watch for 15 episodes with him. Is it wrong for me to get start off wishing this person was gone??? Oh my God he was flirting with Zac Posen, and Zac Posen was flirting back, so he will probably stay around for longer than he should. Tim, the guy from Macys, lol, his “Muse” is an older, lesbian women, that it’s very specific. Carrie does some excellent seaming which is not easy, the judges don’t like her work. Princess Pindy is mad, Princess Pindy says, ” no, no, no!!” Tim says, “no no no! ” Tim is mad too!
~~~Side conversation during commercial~~~ PP: yeah so three must go off the show before it even starts and then they bring in someone from last season for a second chance. PBB: “Are you supposed to get attached these people?” PP: I don’t, LOL, some people get attached…(Mimi Illini<<Lainey Lainey, gets attached.~~~ That’s how my software wrote Lainey Lainey’s name, lol!)
So sad they didn’t take Tim, the guy that specifically designs for older, lesbian women, what a loss. Please don’t have Mitchell get in I don’t think I can handle him for 15 weeks, I will edit that out. Emmanuel is gone and somebody else…. Of course Nzinga got kicked off, I don’t think the judges “got it”. Gawd forbid Heidi wears anything modest. I like Heidi and some of the stuff she wears on the show is really bad and too short, IPPHO. But she looks good this season, better than last time.
Oh no Mitchell, of course he made it because he’s annoying and he flirted, he is going to have a meltdown and annoy me for 15 f*ing weeks ~~ you expect me to figure out of all those people and who the one guy missing is I’ll watch it again tomorrow morning ~~~ I wasn’t missing anyone, lol!
IN THE WORKROOM
This is some workroom, I want it all. I can’t imagine how dirty is going to get. Tim Gunn would have ended up under the dining room table sobbing with me if he had seen my living room during my sewing frenzy my husband died a little every night when he came home…. my daughter died when I cleaned it up while she was at Preview Night and couldn’t find anything the first morning of Cosplay, LOL. “Not before The Con Mom!”
Okay, now we can find out who the designer from another season coming back for their last chance saloon is, because the fans voted to bring them back. I didn’t know anything about this, no one informed me. Ice did not let me know. I hope it’s the girl, I liked her. Her brother is in Maroon Five, now I remember. My daughter is not happy because Adam Levine, she doesn’t like the guy. I was wrong she was saying that I like Adam Levine oh yeah that’s right I like Adam Levine and her brother was in the band and I liked her. Her name is Amanda. So the designers have to make one look of what their collection would look like if they were to make it now. They each get five pieces of fabric that are three yards each. They can trade the fabric. Tim says “Beg, borrow, or steal. Oh no don’t steal”, he’s so funny. This is the luck of the draw, open your trunk. Oh how funny, this is like an episode of “Chopped”! Open your basket and find out what your ingredients are! Oh wow, some of this fabric is ugly. I remember why I like Amanda, she’s funny. Everyone’s introducing themselves but they don’t want her fabric. I would think if you were smart you would have been sewing stuff, you know, like making certain things. Like you would be practicing different kinds of sleeves, necklines, pants so that you could remember how to do this stuff. Different kind of dresses skirts etc.. That’s what I would do to prepare.
Awwww, somebody’s dyyyyyeing….she’s dyeing her fabric. I forgot how long they have to get this done. It is the girl from India who got married to her husband after meeting him once, getting engaged the next day, and marrying him a month later. Does she have time to get that dry. She is using an iron to dry it out, smart. Jefferson’s chatty with everyone, I wonder if he’s the guy that’s kind and helpful or likes giving his opinion and butting in.
TIME WITH TIM
I love Tim’s reviews, his faces, his quizzical looks. “This concerns me.” If he had visited me he would’ve been VERY concerned, LOL. Tim is talking to Angela about her pants, Gawd Tim just say it. If Brooks could say it on The Real Housewives of Orange County… you can say it!! Her pants are really low Tim felt that there would need to be some grooming in that area. Tim is a gentleman, he would NEVER. Tim thinks that Mitchell’s outfit is from the 80s. Well, yeah Mitchell’s whole closet was 80s. Mitchell hasn’t annoyed me so far I thought he would be more annoying. I’m sorely disappointed at this. The models come in. They can stand for a half hour, what I wouldn’t give for a model who could stand for half hour. Sean from New Zealand’s fabric is really shockingly ugly, will be interesting to see how he gets that together.
These models are like anorexic, these models are ridiculously thin this isn’t good but I think I’ll start a Twitter war about skinny models that are anorexic. ~~~PBB: “They are models Mom.” PP: “They are just too skinny this is not okay! As a Skinny bitch I’m offended.” PBB: “They should have it be a real woman Project Runway.”~~~What can I say, she’s a dreamer, that one…that’s never going to happen.
AT THE APARTMENTS
The designers are back to their apartment, let the bad mouthing begin!! Mitchell says it’s so not what you think it is, that it is worse. Microphone off the East Coast gets to play game how fun for them.
BACK AT THE WORKROOM
Oh good Mitchell is coming through for me because he is just being a gossip with Korina. They are being all and gossipy and backbiting. Poor Angela, “Does anyone have a needle.” It’s so hard when you can’t find your tools, scissors, needles, tape, measuring tape! I have four seam rippers around the room and can never find one. What does a bitch have to do to get a seam ripper? Lol! Oh Julie Bowen (Bowel) from Modern Family is the guest judge, I like her.
TURNED DOWN FOR WHAT??
$300,000 prize package! Tim Gunn is on the runway show, Tim is not judging, he has the “Tim Gunn Save”. He used it last year, I think it was a pity vote but that’s IPPHO.
(The Spice Girls dress….) The first girl’s dress, Sandhya, is ugly but it looks well made.
Angela, I like, the pants are cute if they fit a little better, they’re not well made the whole thing is a hot mess. She looks really bad walking away… <<EXAMPLE OF ME CHANGING MY MIND!!!
Okay now Alexander, you know that’s not bad, the floral print on the black and white print, I like it, I like.
Sean he’s the guy from New Zealand and it’s too long and it looks “The Avengers” dress with a big A pointing to the lady parts.
Carrie while she had material that was horribly ugly that’s a really cute dress, really well-made.
Sam, it’s a basic black outfit…nice but nothing special.
Mitchell, it’ll be interesting to see close-up I’m disappointed though, I expected worse.
Kini, it looks better without the denim jacket, what a pretty dress with the pleats, looks good without the denim.
Jefferson, the shorts are too short and wide at the bottom. The zipper is off to the side and not on purpose, he didn’t listen to Tim about the top and how it would work…. I don’t mind the high waist.
Emily, and that’s ugly, a corset made of ugly fabric…Zac hated it, me too…to its nothing new… Funny it is the same fabric that Carrie used…
Hernan has the same fabric as Sandhya and he made a real sexy dress but he’s a ringer and a professional, IPPHO, allegedly. He made it look good.
Korina, she did a red jumpsuit, it’s not bad not sure it just seems extra long in the body.
Kristine, cute but it’s not anything new.
Amanda, looks nice I like the pants, I like the top. Looks sharp, that’s right I said sharp.
Fade Zu, there is something wrong with it but there is something right, I don’t know. I think I had a dress like that in the 80s…these models are way too thin.
Char, oh I think that looks good she did a good job I think that that the skirt fabric was ugly and she did a great job .
TOP AND BOTTOM
Let’s see who is in the top and the bottom. There are six Amanda, Mitchell, Jefferson, Sandhya, Char.. I did that from memory and one other person. ~~~ PBB: “that was amazing.” PP: “my short-term memory worked that time, was it Fade the guy that escaped from East Germany.” ~~~ Nope, it was Angela.
Char is first and Nina likes it and I like it. Pockets in your skirt what could be better, pockets in anything really….. All the judges like her.
Mitchell, yeah, yeah we know you’re from Florida shut up! Nina had very little to say but Heidi likes it. I think he did a nice fit on the shorts though they don’t like it. I wouldn’t wear it but it isn’t the worst thing on the runway, IPPHO.
Sandhya, she really did ugly makeup on her model. I think it is bad but Heidi is defending her.
Heidi’s being nice to everyone so far. Zac likes the details, Nina thinks it’s inventive, she is so ri.dic.
The best part of this critique is my guy Mitchell’s facial expressions….he is thinking, “You judges are out of your freaking minds.”
Jefferson, Heidi doesn’t like it. Nina doesn’t like it. They say that the proportions are a problem.
Julie thinks that Jefferson is cool but that outfit is horrible. I feel bad for him.
Amanda’s look is “Dramatic Day”. “Dramatic Day” is where (I think if you get elastic with Jesus.)
Actually I said that it is considered dramatic day if you leave your house in anything but elastic waist pants, that is “Dramatic Day. ~~~PBB: “they make pants without elastic in the waist?” PP: “yes honey”~~~ Heidi was tough on Amanda, I guess because it’s her second time but it is a great, well made and designed outfit.
Angela, Nina is so mean, she said instead of calling them “slits” she calls them “sluts”…Wow, what a bitch. The pants are horribly made, she’s going to have a breakdown,Angela is right this moment, poor Angela.
TAKE A PEEK
They take a close look at the clothes. This is one of my favorite parts. They did this last year and it’s about time is all I have to say, it only took them 12 seasons to do it!! Angela and Jefferson seem to be in the bottom and they deserve to be. The thing that bothers me about this part is Zac Posen is very touchy-feely with all the models. And Tim did speak up about Angela’s pants and said “Heidi, you don’t think those pants should come with a certificate for a “Brazilian.” I don’t think they were that low…or showed what he thought they showed…. You keep saying that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.”
WINNER AND LOSER
Sandhya won?????????? WTF???????? Are you kidding me?????? SErrrioUSlyyy???????? OMG!!!!!
These judges are just so, I don’t even know what adjective to use!!!!!! NOT MY PICK!!!
So it is between Mitchell and Jefferson, they are the bottom two. They saved Mitchell, Jefferson is out for his slutty shorts and crappy top and Mitchell survives another day to bring drama. So goodbye Jefferson, I guess you won’t be “Moving on up to the east side…To a deluxe apartment in the skyyy!!”
Next week will only be 60 minutes not 150, but who is counting….lol!
Click this link to see the looks: http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/project-runway/season-13/rate-the-runway/episode-1#id=1