Real Housewives Of Orange County
S9E17 “Eat, Pray, Run”
Bali issued a worldwide travel advisory for the next few days ‘cuz that’s where this polite, culturally aware, and sophisticated group of women have decided to vacation. Bali will never be the same. They didn’t get the memo that it’s hot and humid in Bali so for some reason they’re all surprised by it. The women do what they do best – They eat… They gossip… They tip over a kayak that had no cup holders… They gossip… They ride elephants… They gossip, gossip, and then gossip some more…
Shannon was filled in by Lizzie about what Tamra has been saying about Shannon behind her back all season long. Heather’s silly game of “Shag, Marry, or Kill” (at the Valentine’s Party) has created hard feelings – Duh! Evidently, as they were leaving the party, Lizzie told Tamra that she was jealous of Lizzie ‘cuz Eddie wants to ______ her. Now, it depends on which version you believe as to what fills the blank: 1) “Marry” her – If you believe Lizzie’s story; or 2) “F***” her – If you believe Tamra’s version. We didn’t see any of this – So we really don’t know what word was actually used – at least not at this point of time. Hang on though… This comes up again later. Like I said before, this whole “Shag, Marry, or Kill” game was an ill-conceived idea when you use people in your social group as the only choices – So therefore, it’s all Heather’s fault…lol… I kid, I kid…
This week’s episode… The morning after the evening’s little blow up, Heather, Vicki and Tamra are the first to gather for the day’s activities. Tamra is still angry at Heather because Heather had the audacity to tell Tamra to her face that she had indeed, made fun of Lizzie’s dress. Tamra just stares at Heather who doesn’t understand why Tamra is still mad about the whole situation. Heather accurately pointed out that she didn’t say it in front of anyone other than Vicki – So she wasn’t throwing Tamra under the bus nor was she stirring the pot. Since she couldn’t argue with that logic, Tamra decides she’s also still angry at Lizzie for what she said after the Valentine’s party. Heather asks Tamra if she would still be this mad at Lizzie if she had used the word “shag” instead of the “F” word. Tamra said, “No.”
The newbies arrive wearing gear they thought was appropriate for a day of walking through a temple and through the woods. Shannon wonders where everyone’s workout gear is… but Vicki said they had decided on wearing dresses. Lizzie doesn’t understand why Vicki, Heather and Tamra are wearing cutesy outfits when they’re going to be walking outside all day. Tamra specifically points out that Lizzie’s bootie shorts are inappropriate for their visit to a Temple. It’s a sad day when Tamra is able to point at someone else and be right about inappropriate dress.
When the women arrive at the Temple, they are immediately asked to wear, “Traditional attributes.” This means all of them basically put on additional clothes – To me, it looked like a sari or sarong. As they walked in they were sprinkled with holy water to keep their heart clean. Of course, Vicki and Tamra recoiled when sprinkled with a couple of drops of water. Insert gratuitous eye roll here. I’m getting more and more embarrassed by these Americans.
Vicki, because evidently you can’t take her anywhere and expect her to behave… Decided to poke her nose into places in the Temple that she shouldn’t have… She opened the doors of a shrine sitting on a pedestal and purposefully reacted like there was something hideous inside. Shannon confirmed with their guides that they shouldn’t look at what is inside the box unless it’s during a ceremony. The women’s actions and reactions were very disrespectful. The first time I ever visited a Temple like this was a teenager. We were told to be on our very best behavior and to respect that it was a place of worship and sacred ceremony. We were aware people may be actively mediating there at the time of our visit – Even though there was no ceremony actually taking place at the time. We would never have wanted to do anything to disrupt or disrespect anyone’s worship. Tamra doesn’t get the whole thing – She says she doesn’t understand how a rock with moss is spiritual. Wow. So that’s all you got from that experience? Yikes!
Next, they go into the marketplace and buy some stuff. Vicki is really great at negotiating and is horrified that the others spent $100 on a lot of what she refers to as “crap.” Vicki reiterates that Lizzie and Danielle are “Dumb” and “Dumber.” She is kinda right in this situation – Just because it seems they spent so much on so little… But Vicki is just so nice, isn’t she?
The women stop at a place where they have garra rufa fish that have the sucking ability to eat the dead skin off your feet. You basically sit down and dangle your legs into an aquarium tank. Hundreds of little guppy-looking fish swarm around your feet to feast on your dead skin. We’ve already seen this in a previous season of RHONY. Yawn.
Heather, who has been an amazing sport all trip (Perhaps it’s because she’s the host of this trip?) called this process “a little pedicure”… Vicki doesn’t want any part of it and walks away. Heather’s feet are perfectly coiffed so there’s not much for the fish to feed on – but she points out they’re going to town on Tamra’s feet. Okay… and this is where I get so shocked… ‘Cuz Shannon – Whom we’ve now heard say on two separate occasions that she doesn’t like ocean water SPECIFICALLY because of the fish swimming around your feet – Actually concedes to put her feet into the water. After some gratuitous screaming (Puhleeze make her stop…), Shannon finally settles down. Afterwards, Shannon says she feels a real difference in her feet. Tamra just thinks it’s a clever way to get their money. We find out that Shannon’s fear of fish stems from her Mom grabbing her foot as a kid and pretending to be, “Jaws.” Come on, who DIDN’T have someone grab them and pretend to be a shark in the 70s or 80s? Just when you thought it was safe to take a bath…lol…
They all pile into the van again and arrive at the “monkey place.” Vicki is screaming at the top of her lungs at the monkeys and she’s not even out of the van yet… KMN. They all decide they shouldn’t scream… ‘Cuz well, ya know… lol…
Okay, I am sick and tired of these women screaming like banshees… I bet banshees are even sick of them, too. I started thinking about the times I scream in my normal life. I scream when I’m startled… Sometimes I scream when on a roller coaster (but generally, I just laugh)… I scream when I’m watching sports… And of course, I scream – You scream – We ALL scream for ice cream. However, I tend NOT to scream at elephants that have my life in their hands… I tend NOT to scream in restaurants… I tend NOT to scream around wild monkeys… I tend not to scream while in moving vehicles. Why is it so hard for these women to refrain from screaming? It’s just embarrassing.
The women are shown the types of food the monkeys eat. Tamra is quickly nvited by the monkey population to be their queen…lol… No, that was just a wishful thought I had. Heather demonstrates to the others how to feed the monkey by holding the food above her head so that the monkey crawls up her body, grabs the food, and climbs back down again. As they’re walking down a path, Tamra and Vicki are flipping out from all the monkeys and Heather tells everyone to “Chillax.” It didn’t quite have the same impact as “Take a Xanax” – but that phrase has already been overused, no?
Tamra says she just got rid of her crabs and she doesn’t need any more fleas. No seriously, she said that…lol. Shannon, surprisingly, allows a monkey to crawl up her body also. In this week’s First Edition of “I Kid You Not” Shannon says, “I’ve got a monkey on my back and it’s a big ass one.” Awww, Shannon – Truer words have never been spoken… Oh, and Shannon also has a furry creature on her back…lol. Vicki and Tamra separate from the others because Tamra doesn’t want to be “gang banged by a bunch of monkeys.” I’m not even exaggerating.
Our happy little tourists decide to pair off for the next few hours. Heather and Tamra go off on a bike ride to see the beautiful Balinese countryside. Heather didn’t travel across the world to go to a spa… She wants to experience the scenery…They bike through various scenic areas including a rice paddy.
In this week’s 2nd Edition of “I Kid You Not” Tamra says, “I never knew where rice came from – I thought it came from a rice tree – Doesn’t everything come from a tree?” Oh Tamra, not everything grows on trees. Even things that infer they do – don’t necessarily. For example, just because there’s such a thing as a “shoe tree” doesn’t mean there’s a “Manolo Blahnik” tree. Also, contrary to popular belief – Money doesn’t grow on trees. Puhleeze, what adult has NOT at least seen a picture of a rice paddy? Embarrassing… Just so embarrassing…
Lizzie and Danielle head for the pool to relax and catch some rays. Shannon and Vicki decide on a holistic spa day complete with forays into a hot pool, an ice room, and an aroma therapy room where they receive a “crystal” facial and a Balinese massage.
Of course, as Danielle and Lizzie hang out in the pool they begin to talk about Tamra. They noticed that Tamra said “hi” to everyone but them. Lizzie doesn’t understand what she’s done to make Tamra so mad at her. In her talking head, Lizzie assures us that she doesn’t “want” Tamra’s husband because after all she’s taller than he is – So it’s “not even a thing.” Really, Lizzie? I would think that it isn’t a “thing” because you are married… I would think that it isn’t a “thing” because he is married… Plus, even if those things weren’t applicable, you’re basically showing us you’re so superficial that you would let someone’s height alone be the determining factor of having a “thing.” Lizzie has drunk too much of her own Kool-Aid. I think she believes that any man with a pulse and a “thing” would have a “thing” for her. You’re pretty, Lizzie, but delusional. And you’re pretty delusional.
After Shannon and Vicki’s wonderful spa time, they sit down, relax, and of course, gossip. They talk about how Tamra has been talking poorly about Shannon behind her back. Shannon fills Vicki in on the details of her conversation with Lizzie about everything that Tamra’s been saying behind Shannon’s back. After Lizzie and Danielle also join them, they talk about how they’ve been comparing notes about what has been said.
Shannon says that she feels betrayed by Tamra. Lizzie tells Shannon that Tamra said she wished that she could give Shannon a colonic so that all the s*** would be sucked out of her – Inferring, of course, that Shannon is full of s***. Vicki is really sorry that Shannon has been so hurt by Tamra’s words. Vicki says, “The fact that somebody that I have been close with tried to hurt you – Makes me very embarrassed and very sad.” Wow… this is a first… A “Real Housewife” apologizes on behalf of another “Real Housewife?” Quickly looks out the window ‘cuz I know pigs are flying…
Shannon tells Vicki she thinks she also needs to have a conversation with her because Tamra has recently been talking badly about Brooks (Ugh!) to the newbies. Danielle tells Vicki that Tamra is still bashing Brooks (Ugh!) to the new girls… Tamra just called Brooks (Ugh!) “creepy” as recently as a month ago. Heck, I think I called him “creepy” just last week – So what’s your point? Shannon decides she’s going to talk to Tamra about it at dinner tonight. Right. Like this is going to end well… Well, it will for Bravo – Because they get the highly coveted dramatic dinner party from hell on the last night of vacation…lol.
Evening comes and the women are treated to an authentic Balinese dance. Lizzie mocks the chantings from the dance in her talking head interview – Which I find to be pretty distasteful and disrespectful, although probably prodded by Production’s questions… But this is NOT how I would expect a beauty queen to act who has been around multi-cultural people for most of her life. Heather and Tamra come sprinting in late and take their seats while the dance is continuing – While still wearing their biking clothes.
After the presentation, they take a quick break so Tamra and Heather can quickly change into dinner attire and so that Shannon can assure us she’s not nervous about the dinner tonight. Nope. Nope. Nope. As they are walking into the restaurant, Shannon genuinely thanks Heather for including her on the trip. Heather tells us she likes “Vacation Shannon” and they both hope they can somehow get past all this monkey business. Lol…
As they’re sitting at the table, Tamra notices that Vicki is being uncommonly quiet. They do some gesturing back and forth to each other. At first Vicki implies she’s relaxed and kinda “Zen” from her spa day – but Tamra still senses awkwardness.
In another, “holy crap on a cracker did that just happen?” moment, Heather tells Shannon that she owes her an apology. Wow… I’m stunned! Heather wants Shannon to know that she isn’t one to gossip and that she didn’t repeat the information maliciously but that she’s sorry it caused Shannon pain and that she feels terrible for it. Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… In other news, Heather says that David’s comment for her to “spread your legs” when she got onto the bull in the “There’s a Ho Down at the Hoedown” episode really upset Terry… and he’s still upset by it. Shannon wasn’t aware that had happened – but that David was very drunk on Tequila that day and she’s sure he thought he was being funny. Shannon’s sure that David will apologize. I dunno, I think if Terry had such an issue with it – Why didn’t he already talk to David about it? That seems weird to me… Especially because there’s been ample opportunity for him to do so… Oh I get it – They’re setting this up as the big fight during next week’s final episode. They’re tricky, aren’t they?
Heather and Vicki are talking across the table without actually talking. Tamra wants to know why Vicki is acting strange and so Tamra starts playing her own rendition of “20 Questions.” “Is it about home?” “Is it me?” “What did I do?” Tamra wants Vicki to go to the bathroom with her so they can discuss it. Vicki refuses.
After Tamra excuses herself to go to the bathroom, Vicki chooses to talk about why she’s mad at the only person NOT at the table. How very adult of you, Vicki! Vicky clues in Heather that she thought Tamra was her friend but that she found out that Tamra has recently been bashing Brooks (Ugh!) again… She asks Heather, “How good of a friend is that? I’m hurt beyond words that I let her back in my life again.”
Tamra rejoins the table. Shannon asks Tamra to explain why Tamra has said that Shannon has green Martians living in her head and that she makes stuff up. Tamra smells a setup – And after confirming Vicki wasn’t part of it – She tells Shannon that her words are being taken out of context. She motions to Lizzie and Danielle and says, “So you’ve been hearing about it from these two?” Shannon continues with her litany of items on her list that she thinks are untrue that Tamra’s been saying about her, “That I need a colonic so all the bulls*** can come out of me… That I need an ambulance, that I need medication, That I’m crazy… That I’m a psycho…” Tamra, in her talking head, says, “Clearly, Lizzie told Shannon our conversation that we had – What does she have to gain from that?”
Okay Tamra, so let me get this straight… You’re not being misquoted, you actually DID say these things to Lizzie – but Lizzie’s the villain because she told Shannon about it? There was absolutely NO apology from Tamra about anything she had said.
Tamra tells Shannon that she didn’t say anything bad about her until the night of Lizzie’s party (OMG – That’s so not true…lol) when Shannon acted strange. Shannon concedes she went crazy that night but insists, “I don’t have a drinking problem which is another thing you’re alleging.” Tamra says that everyone at the table has talked about Shannon’s drinking problem. Vicki clarifies that she hasn’t. Lizzie said that they have all apologized to Shannon for what they have said because they had a very wrong impression of her.
Lizzie continues on the subject of drinking… She tells Tamra that if she’s going to repeat a story that she should get it right – If she drinks too much and can’t remember the facts of the story then she shouldn’t say anything at all. Lizzie said, “I never said your husband wanted to “F me” – I said ‘marry.’” Danielle confirms Lizzie’s version of the story. Tamra leans back and sees the entire setup of the night… Then Tamra goes into a shrieking frenzy… And calls them “F**ing liars.” After screaming back and forth, Tamra looks at Danielle and says, “Now I know why nobody likes you.” They continue to go back and forth and back and forth about the word that Lizzie used or didn’t use.
Now right about now, an untrained novice might actually feel some compassion for our little Tamra because it seems like everyone is ganging up on poor widdle her. However, let us remember – That most of these things are things that Tamra has actually said… To be fair, sometimes context does matter – but sometimes it really doesn’t. If you said I needed medication because I was crazy – I’m just not sure how context would soften that blow… or that I had Martians running around in my head… Again, no amount of context would help that… lol…Well, unless you were referring to “Marvin The Martian” – THEN it would be kewl. But I digress… Oh yeah, my point is that there was a certain trip to Costa Rica that happened a couple of seasons ago – When Tamra and Heather and Gretchen mercilessly attacked Alexis for merely being materialistic. Tamra has no leg to stand on. She may want to borrow Aviva’s leg – She sometimes doesn’t use it, I hear.
Heather looks across the table at Lizzie and calmly says, “Lizzie, honestly, I adore you – But that’s not what you said.” In her talking head, Heather confirms she heard Lizzie use the “F” word… In addition, Heather says that Terry also heard Lizzie use the “F” word… As an aside, we’ve seen a couple of situations where Lizzie has misremembered something – So it’s not surprising that this could another one of those times… Plus, we’ve seen a really bad, dark side of Lizzie, too… I’ll never forget what she said about her husband’s manhood on national TV when she was cranky after her birthday party. I bet he won’t forget it, either.
After more arguing, Lizzie says, “You’re crap, Tamra – You’re the most insecure women I’ve ever met – Get it together!” Tamra then makes like a tree and leaves. Tamra threatens as she dramatically exits, “You will never see my face again.” Really? Can we get that in writing? No seriously… I’d like to see a signed contract.
Daggers are coming out of Heather’s eyes at the rest of the table as she consoles a crying Vicki. Vicki is saying that Tamra is talking out of both sides of her mouth. She’s tried so hard to forgive Tamra but she betrayed her again.
Shannon tells Heather that Tamra’s not a true friend of hers, either. Shannon says that even though Heather was in Tamra’s wedding that it wasn’t a true friendship but that it was all fake. Well, duh – Of course not, it’s a Bravo friendship – Don’t we all know that? Lizzie tells Heather that Tamra called her anorexic.
Heather says that the wedding thing really bothers her. Shannon says that Tamra said they weren’t that close. Shannon knows that it’s hard to hear things when you know you’ve gone above and beyond to be a good friend to that person.
Heather is sad that she’s hearing that she’s just a fake friend – It is very hurtful… But in light of all of the other things she’s hearing – She wonders if any of it is true? Or is this another way to twist what people say to make them look bad?
Heather goes to find Tamra. Tamra asks, “Where’s Vicki?” Heather tells her that she’s crying. Tamra asks, “Why?” Heather explains that it’s because she feels betrayed by Tamra because you told the other girls that Brooks (Ugh!) is a creep. Then Heather wants to clear the air with Tamra, too. She describes how Shannon told her that Tamra really didn’t want her (Heather) in Tamra’s wedding. Tamra confirms that she loves Heather and that she wanted her in her wedding. Tamra says all of this has a little truth but the rest is twisted. Tamra thinks that if Vicki had a problem with her that she should have come and talked to her. I don’t think Tamra knew this was new news to Vicki… “Lizzie is the most manipulating, lying b*** I’ve ever met in my life.” Evidently, Tamra has never seen a mirror.
Vicki doesn’t want to see Tamra if she comes back… She says that “all that happened tonight is that I lost a friend.” Vicki feels sorry for Tamra. Shannon tells Vicki that every time she feels that way to think of Brianna and their relationship right now and the role that Tamra played in it… Vicki knows that the best part of her life is that she has good people in it. Gosh, I hope she doesn’t mean Brooks (Ugh!).
Heather comes back down to the group. She tells them that Tamra is really upset. Vicki asks, “Where do we go from here?” Heather responds, “We go home…”
Next week – Season finale… Tamra’s son and Vicki’s daughter are leaving (cue tears). There’s a gratuitous big fight during the season’s, “last supper” between Terry and David… I know, shocker, right?
Thanks for reading… See ya next week… Happy trails!
Real Housewives Of New York
S9E22 Cast Blogs Blogged
Kristen: Ramona’s Out of Touch with Reality
Sonja is really getting the brunt of the this reunion so far. Many of you have called me a “bully” for voicing my opinion about Sonja. I LOVE Sonja, I do… She is extremely smart, successful, beautiful, witty, and I could go on and on. However she is straight up delusional about the state of her businesses and the number of people she claims she employs? It is none of my business, but when you talk about it on the show and then it comes up on the reunion, then you need to be held accountable for the facts. Like most of you, I am sure you want to know more about all these businesses, and new businesses, and businesses on top of the businesses… I know we all want the best for Sonja, and she is more than capable of promoting and marketing any business. But after you hear her continue to talk about these ventures and when you drill down and say, “Sonja, where can I go buy any one of these products? Where do they sell them? When is the official launch date?” You start to get a lot of mumbo jumbo for a response from her. Let’s just say we are all very excited to go the official launch of any one of these businesses, and I will be the first person to buy any one of her products the day they are available.
You know they are not going to be available. Unfortunately, Sonja gets no sympathy for her declining mental state.
The interns… Calling them volunteers is very funny. It’s wonderful that she has the team she has, and they all seem to love being part of Team Sonja. I am slowly learning that being a Housewife is a full time job.
Bookgate… Ugh, this went back and fourth. Andy finally just had to cut this topic off and move on. The whole thing is ridiculous. I think Aviva just needs to clear the air, regardless of the infamous “word on the street,” and apologize to Carole for saying she had a ghost writer!
I seriously doubt that would happen.
Aviva referencing that To Kill a Mocking Bird was ghost written? What is she doing!? She needs to stop with all of the rumors and hearsay! What is she doing? She is digging a deeper and deeper hole every week!
Aviva always barks out the most bizarre analogies. Always comparing having kids and pregnancies? So weird and confusing, and a majority of the time completely irrelevant.
Carole said it best: “Not all Housewife fights are created equal.”
Our Trips: Ramona is digging a deeper hole too! For her to imply that the only place people spend weekends and vacation is the Hamptons is ludicrous. It just goes to show you how far out of touch with reality she really is! Can’t she just except that not everyone enjoys the beach? To each their own. The Hamptons are wonderful, but not everyone wants to deal with the traffic and bumping into everyone you see all week in the city. The Hamptons can be very pretentious!
With all that freaking traffic, it does make you think that everyone spends their vacation time in the Hamptons. Maybe if they think the “it” crowd is in the Berkshires, they’ll all head up there and clog the roadways. Wishful thinking!
Throughout the whole season, during interviews, and even on the couch Ramona still refers to me as “she” or the “new girl.” Excuse me, I have a name and and if you took two seconds to actually be genuine and try to get to know me, you probably would treat me differently.
She saves that for the next season.
LuAnn and Sonja: Deep down inside, you know that they love each other, but they have this disconnect. Lu has her gorgeous dress line on SHOPHQ, she sent us all an email and in support we all tweeted it out. That’s what friends do, and to think that Sonja didn’t do that and blamed it on the fact that some homeless girl in Ireland is tweeting for her? Hmm…a little random? See, this is what I don’t understand, we are all very busy! Many of the girls have assistants, interns, kids, what have you. But no matter what, they all check in on their emails, calls, and texts. Take Heather as an example — running a company, shooting the show, taking care of two kids — yet she will ALWAYS get back to me within an hour, ALWAYS. Sonja has no excuses for that. She has all of those interns, what are they doing if they are not checking her email and letting her know whats going on? Hmm…
The Men of NYC: You didn’t get to see 100 percent of Josh’s personality. The show is a small slice of a few minutes of a 168 hour week — and unfortunately you got some bad moments, minus the context of our whole lives to complete the whole story. Josh is a great guy, a supportive hubby, and a wonderful dad. Josh and I have a strong foundation and a tight bond, and we are in it for the long haul. We are not going to let criticism from a TV show sway us, but it has actually helped us improve our communication and also recognize things we saw about ourselves that we would want to improve upon. #TEAMTAEKMAN
Ramona: I literally bit my tongue during this scene! I didn’t feel it was my place as the “rookie” to comment on Ramona’s relationship, but Lu knows her much better and they have a history, so she felt it was her place. I was happy to hear Lu speak up, because someone had to.
Ramona not saying a word about what went on behind the scenes in her marriage last summer was just plain old silly. Say something, anything! “We went through a rough patch, but we have worked through it.” Something! It was in the papers, we all heard about it, so set the record straight. By not saying a thing, in my opinion, it looked and felt like she had a ton to hide.
The worst part was turning on Andy. Asking him about his sex life? He is not on the show, honey, YOU ARE! And BTW he is the BOSS.
Aviva’s “Foul Ignorance”
Well, here we are again for a second week sitting on the couch. I have to reiterate how grateful I am to be next to my girls, Carole, Kristen, and Lu. Can you say, “Same page?”
Makes you wonder if there was a secret meeting beforehand a la Beverly Hills to be on the same page.
Anyway, this week we get into the trip to the Berkshires. All in all, I really enjoyed the weekend with the ladies up at our Berkshire nest. As I write this blog, I am sitting at the kitchen table looking out at the mountains watching Jax and Ella play in the yard. It is truly a tranquil, lovely, and most of all, relaxing place away from the busy life we all lead. For my family and me it’s a place full of memories, get-togethers, activities, and laughter, and I hate to even defend its value to Ramona, who is acting like a pretentious brat and quite frankly, is being ridiculous. There is almost nothing worse to me than elitist behavior. That and foul ignorance (but more on that later).
There have been a lot of people on Twitter, Facebook and blogs that have wondered why a reality show that focuses on affluent women from New York City would go to the Berkshires. It’s a nice, pretty area but most people like escapism. They expect Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. Other housewives know this which is why they eventually file for bankruptcy because they cannot afford to live the fantasy. They never were able to afford this lifestyle but most of the women on NYC housewives with the exception of Sonja actually can live this lifestyle. Actually Sonja does have enough friends and connections that she can live this lifestyle on other people’s dime and sympathy. This makes me question why Heather wants people to see her Berkshire home and gets angry at Ramona for pointing out the house values of the area. If people have the impression that the Berkshires are an up and coming area, more people would buy and the property values would go up. Great for Heather, right? Sell girl, sell.
What’s funny is Ramona is painting a lifestyle that is seemingly much grander than what it really is…let’s be honest. And seriously?! Mud pies!? Panic attack? I don’t think so, and I broke it down for her: if you wanted to leave early, (which she had planned all along), just say so! I could have cared less. In fact, we had more fun after she flew away! Flying away from the problem is instinctual for Ramona after all. She drops a bomb and runs for cover. It’s the same pattern again and again; she can’t deal with the absolute truth and changes the subject when she doesn’t like the subject at hand… And she is doing it again with Andy when he tries to bring up the Mario situation, but Lu’s not really havin’ that! But enough about Singer… Unlike a great workout, she is exhausting but for all the wrong reasons!
Those first few sentences don’t make sense. How does living a grander lifestyle than what you live have anything to do with mud pies and panic attacks. The fact that you are mad that Ramona planned to leave early shows that you cared that she did. I feel like Heather is having a temper tantrum because people aren’t doing what she wants them to do. If you really didn’t care that Ramona planned a getaway then why bitch about it?
Now onto foul ignorance… Ghetto? Gangster? Really? Are you referring to race or a socio-economic situation? Nice, Aviva, you ignorant cow. I think it is actually easy for this sedated narcissist to label me ghetto because I stood up for my friend. Sadly, she wouldn’t know what that feels like. I would NEVER get physical with anyone no matter how pushed I am (remember her minion she tried to sic on me?), but I WILL use the strongest language when defending what I believe is right. My upbringing was barely middle class, and I make no apologies for that. My mother raised my sister and me with very little help, and I am very proud of my upbringing and my mother, especially as I reflect back on what she gave us as I raise two children of my own.
Aviva does try to put people down by using socioeconomic class insults. You did bait Aviva’s faux friend personal stylist to get into a physical fight with her. Maybe you shouldn’t let out that you wouldn’t get physical with anyone. The next irate person that threatens a beat down with you will not believe you.
From both my parents and grandparents, I was taught strong values and ethics and I was given the tools to build a moral code that money can’t buy or sell. I was taught the value of hard work and the importance of good manners, but most importantly, I was taught to stand up for my beliefs and the value of honesty. I believe my success in business now is attributable to the lessons my mother taught me growing up. Aviva needs a mirror and she needs to open her eyes and look into it. Start there, girl. It’s never too late! I am a woman and I am allowed in 2014 to be as strong as anyone without being labeled. And what’s more, you wouldn’t last a day in the ghetto, Drescher. Just a few words out of your snobby mouth and they’d likely take off that fancy leg of yours and beat your sorry, elitist, ignorant ass with it. Holla!
Oh you just gave her more ammo to verbally beat you with.
Carole on Stupid Things You’ve Heard on Bravo
Harper Lee had a Ghostwriter And Other Stupid Things You’ve Heard on Bravo
(This week’s blog is dedicated to my favorite vocabulary word: weird.)
Wow, that was so weird! Let’s recap. Harper Lee, the Pulitzer prize-winning author of To Kill a Mockingbird — a seminal work on race inequality that is arguably one of the best novels in American literature — had a ghostwriter it turns out. Yep. Well, at least I’m in good company. But weird, right. Who knew? I’ll tell you who knew: Aviva Drescher knew. Not only that, she even knew who the ghostwriter was, and she told us. It was Truman Capote! Now that is just really weird. Don’t you think that’s weird, guys?
According to Aviva “every writer has a ghostwriter.” Well, everyone but Aviva. Isn’t that weird? She didn’t need a Truman Capote, she just wrote a long email to her team. She’s amazing! Weirdly.
I wonder if she knows who Truman Capote’s ghostwriter was.
It’s true there was a weird unfounded Lee-Capote rumor decades ago that everyone, including Truman Capote, quickly debunked. It was referred to in their circles as the “biggest lie ever told.” It’s an urban legend, and a really weird and dated one at that. There is also a rumor that Harper Lee contributed significantly to Truman’s book In Cold Blood, a rumor that not even Truman disputed. Word On the Street was that she was his ghostwriter. Weird. Right?
Ah you answered my question. Capote’s ghostwriter was Harper Lee. It’s odd. (I needed to use another word other than weird).
No one with half, or even a third of a brain would repeat this silly tale for fear of sounding like a nitwit. But Aviva did. She’s fearless. Nothing is too dumb or too nasty for Aviva to repeat on national television. No one is safe. Not me. Not Miss USA. Not even Harper Lee, who was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Weird.
Debunking Urban Legends
I bet Aviva has a cousin who knows someone who knows someone else who passed out drunk in a hotel one night and woke up in a bathtub short a kidney. Or a babysitter who gets creepy phone calls coming from inside the house. Maybe it’s a weird urban legend that “real writers” (as Aviva calls them) hire writers!
I don’t think she understand what a ghostwriter is. She hasn’t googled it yet.
“Real writers” don’t hire writers. Margaret Atwood doesn’t hire writers. Alice Munro doesn’t hire writers. Nathan Englander doesn’t have a writer on retainer. Call them and ask. It’s true. Writers don’t hire writers, because they’re writers. It doesn’t take a village or a team, it takes a writer. It takes one person to write a book. And after it is written it takes a bunch of people to publish it. Come to think of it, it takes more people to conceive a baby, assuming there is a man involved, than to write a book. And, trust me, it’s much more fun!
Conceiving a baby can take an egg and sperm and maybe some alcohol. Delivering a baby can take several people and a lot of pain and waiting. Maybe the same amount of people it takes to publish a book.
I’m not ever getting a Pulitzer prize and my books aren’t on high school reading lists, but for better or worse I’m a working writer. So, ostensibly, I do care who writes books. Isn’t that weird? I built a career over 20 years that I’m proud of, like I should be. Like anyone who spends 20 years building a family should be. Etc.
As long as you’re making money, who cares.
So let’s ask it again. “Who cares who writes books as long as they get written?” Sure. Whatever. Who cares. All the ladies have nannies. Aviva has one or two, and so her nannies raise her kids, right? No one cares who raises kids as long as they get raised? Right? Weird. The way Aviva beats her chest you’d think I accused her of ghost-parenting. She appears to be tone deaf to condescension and insults which probably accounts for her tacky habit of interrupting, and her screaming and that weird chest-pounding thing. I thought she might bust an implant!
Bust an implant! Ha!
I get it. I’m a writer and I’ve had some success. People like to gossip about people who are successful. Six publishers were in a bidding war for my novel, five of them lost out — including Aviva’s publisher. The publishing industry is not immune to gossips. (I don’t want to go over this again. Blah, blah, blah. Read here if you want the back story.) I may not ever be an “important writer,” but I do have a brain. And I know our audience does too and sees right through her silly act.
You are her storyline.
Aviva may have gone to law school but she’s no Atticus Finch. Our contracts preclude us from suing each other, which she knows. So it’s a weird thing for her to say. But if I did sue I’d hire Harvey that hot lawyer from SUITS. He’d crush her in court. Wait, Harvey is so brilliant, it wouldn’t get to court. He’d settle for a large undisclosed amount. I’d buy Sonja’s yacht with the money and invite all the girls aboard. Well, almost all. . .
And invite P Diddy to your yacht too.
Aviva: Who Cares How Carole Wrote Her Book?
I am so glad the viewers got to go on this wild journey into the publishing world with me. It’s amazing. Who knew that book titles, cover photos, release dates, price points, and book stores were all chosen by the publisher and not the author? The book gets edited by a publishing legal team, as well as an editor for content. It seems my experience was very different from Carole’s. I am glad she is such a big writer that she gets to make all these decisions herself that are normally made by the publishing company. It’s incredible that every word she writes doesn’t get touched unless it’s two letters or less. It’s also amazing that she wrote her first book without any help. WOW.
That’s not what ghostwriters do. That is what editors, public relations, marketing consultants and artists do. She really doesn’t know what ghostwriting is.
The publishing world is tough. I thought the PTA was filled with gossip and some vicious behavior. . .Like the magazine, television, and fashion worlds, the publishing world can be vicious and riddled with gossip. I heard from someone in that world (and I did tell Carole the name of one source), as well as from other people, she used a ghost. I was the messenger and I got shot. It happens. It would have been easier to sit there and smile and tell Carole how wonderful she was and keep quiet about all the mean things said about her — but I didn’t and I won’t. And that’s why Carole dislikes me — for being the most real.
You put it on a reality show which could have tarnished her career. The audience isn’t stupid.
As I have said before, who cares if she used a ghost? Or help, or whatever? I stand by my knowledge that many intelligent, professional writers have help. I suppose this really hit a nerve with Carole as she defines herself by her writing, which I find terribly sad. My love for my family, friends, and amputees are what fill me with happiness. Carole’s happiness seems to be derived from loving herself. This my friends is complete narcissism and her books are an extension of HER love for herself. The saddest thing that Carole ever told me was that she never experienced love for anyone. She calls it her curse — that everyone loves her and yet she has never felt love. Well, she loves herself and her books. Sorry Carole for being real and being the messenger. Let it go and I hope that one day you experience love. The best kind — for others.
There is nothing wrong with loving yourself. On Tumblr I saw a post asking “would you ever keep a friend that talks to you the same way you talk to yourself.” We are hardest on ourselves. If Carole is happy with her career and wants to protect and defend it from her selfish, manipulative cast member on a reality show then that is her prerogative and her right. Aviva really has no clue how she comes off. There is such a lack of self awareness along with self centeredness that it must be very frightening and frustrating to deal with her.
LuAnn: For Ramona Ignorance Is Bliss
I think Aviva was honest about only having one nanny! I’ve been to her home on numerous occasions. Aviva does like to entertain, so she brings in help when she needs to. Who cares how many nanny’s she has anyway?
Carole and Heather were making parallels about ghostwriting a book and ghost parenting your child.
Ramona never ceases to amaze me, her level of crassness and rudeness are beyond! Heather’s home in the Berkshire’s is lovely! Who is Ramona to judge people by where they live? It’s so untrue that the Berkshires is for people with less money. I don’t even know where she comes up with this bullsh–! Like they say “ignorance is bliss.”
Well who are you going to complain about and be shocked about, if not for Ramona.
I don’t know why Ramona even bothered to come to the Berkshires. She complained the whole time and then bailed for a bash in the Hamptons. She totally set up that plane beforehand and knew the entire time that she would leave. Then she tried to cry her way out .REALLY?!? Acting 101.
You would be scolding people on the reunion couch for picking their noses while staring at each other if you didn’t have Ramona and Sonja’s antics.
I don’t trust Sonja for one minute! She has changed so much over the years I barely recognize her. She even believes her own stories about homes, yacht’s and Harry? I’m sad to say that our friendship is in the can. What more can I say than that!
The nurse in you is absent when you scoffed at her and laughed about mental illness.
Ramona’s reaction to Andy about her questionable marriage was not unusual. She tried to avoid the topic by deflecting to Andy and his love life. I thought Andy handled it beautifully. She is a piece of work isn’t she? She put down my marriage every chance she got and even tried to blackmail me and my children. What kind of woman would use your children? Especially one with the same age daughter!
In the past you questioned her marriage first. She just gave it back.
Unfortunately for Ramona, karma was there to save the day! I don’t think Ramona is even remorseful for what she has done to me in the past and that’s why she will always be Crazy
Speaking of karma, I think it would be interesting to see Ramona single and dating. It seems that Sonja and Luann compete over men. Throwing Ramona into the mix would make a hell of a reality show.
Real Housewives Of New York Tonight!
Reunion Part 3 – one hour earlier than usual