S3E9 “Campfire Confessions”
Last week a very brave Kroy Biermann packed up his bunch of camping novices and headed to the woods. This week we find them settled in the campsite.
It’s the early morning and we get a glimpse of what a beautiful area they’re camping in. Kim emerges from the tent and says the hell with this camping, thank God she brought her bathrobe, it kept her nice and warm. Kroy is cooking some bacon on the Coleman while Kim, Shun, Ariana and Brielle are sitting by the fire talking about how cold it was that night. Um, hello, shouldn’t someone else help cook breakfast for 7?! Kim jokes about calling Sweetie to drive in and bring her an effing Starbucks. And we hear Kroy shout, what?! You don’t like my coffee?! Shun wants to order up some cheese hashbrowns and Kim tells her, “Bitch, this ain’t Waffle House!”
In a talking head Kim talks about she’s never been camping and it’s a little eerie to hear nothing but birds chirping and being so isolated. It might be a good thing, but something she’s not used to. Kroy tells the girls they are going to have to dig up some worms to go fishing. Ariana asks, “real worms?!” No Ariana, the plastic ones that are conveniently buried all over the state of Georgia. She found one though and was proud of her find.
They hike down to the lake and there’s a dock to fish from. Yes, Kim has her robe over some clothes. Shun looks to be in a onsie PJ from the night before. The ladies fishing attire has got me chuckling. So everyone has a rod and reel. Ariana tells Kim to hush that she’s scaring the fish. The girls seem to be very much into the fishing. Kim is still giving it a try as well, Shun. Kroy is sitting on the dock with KJ between his legs and he’s teaching him to fish. So cute. Kim said seeing those two together like that, made the trip for her. She’s so glad she didn’t catch a fish, so she didn’t have to cook it!
Back at the campsite, it’s near sunset and Kroy is building a fire. Kim said she’s so glad she married a man from Montana. It’s dark now, and Kroy is hauling out the hot dogs and hamburgers to cook dinner. Kim has her solo cup and is hauling around a lantern finding out what each person wants to eat. That is a absolutely fantastic lantern by the way, if anyone needs one, it is super bright, LED and has panels you can remove that stay lit, so if people need to walk away from camp they have their individual lights. A brilliant design, oh sorry for the advertisement. Coleman, should send me a check! Kim talks about the teenage girls trying to play for a fool to think she didn’t notice they sneak on their phones. Brielle said it was kinda relaxing not being on the phone all the time and Slade is the only person she talked to anyway. I guess her boyfriends’ name is Slade?! How unfortunate!
Kroy transfers a hot coal log in to the outdoor barbeque pit to cook and Kim is asking important questions like is Shun going to wash her face and she said no, she will sleep in her make up. And one of the girls said, “sleep naked?” and Shun says no! Kim asks does anyone here sleep naked? This is not the night to do it! Lana says yes, which was met with a great deal of surprise. But not when in Kim’s house, of course. Kim thinks Lana has a freaky side. There’s a lot of giggling around the fire and in a talking head Kim talks about how she’s actually enjoying it.
After they eat Kim suggests they sit around the fire and tell stories about when they were growing up. Ariana pipes up to say “I’m still growing up!” Chuckles. Kim gets her bathrobe on and brings a pillow out of the tent to get comfy and says she’s impressed that Kroy brought chairs. I guess she thought they would be on the ground the whole time?! So Kim is thinking this is pretty fun and they are making smores.
They start a round of Two Truths and One Lie. Shun: (1) She’s been a stylist for 6 years (2) She’s been in jail for disorderly conduct (3) She used to sell shoes to pimps and ho’s. Someone says “you still do!” The false was she had been a stylist more than 6 years. They ask Kroy when he knew Kim and her girls were going to be his family and Kroy said he pretty much knew she was the one on the second date. He and Kim reminisce about the time in their relationship when they knew they fell in love and said it. Kim asks Brielle Truth or Dare and truth was chosen, so they asked her about did she hit the Escalade with the Range Rover and she swears she didn’t.
Shun asks Kim a truth. Does she miss her Mom? There was an awkward silence and Kim, in a flat and very low tone says “No”. Brielle said, yeah you do and Kim said very flatly said “No.” She said when your mother sues you for custody of her grandchildren and she sells out info about you to the media and subsequently outs the fact the girls are from different fathers that very seriously crossed the line. Kim elaborated further to say that she had a good childhood, but she was raising these two girls on her own working three jobs and there was not a grandmother around to help with the girls – it was Sweetie that was around to help Kim as she needed help. Not her mother. And when you have to spend 35k of your money to defend yourself against your own mother, well that just completely crosses the line. So the girls do not have a relationship with their grandparents, as well of course, they do not communicate with Kim any longer, she will not allow it. Kim said she doesn’t miss her, but the girls said it’s sad they don’t have a grandparents like other kids.
Kim says people are really hard on her, judgmental that she would shut down her own mother, but she says it’s a matter of trust and with her mother selling to the media once, she would do it again. Kroy’s parents are different, they would never go to the media. But they were not happy that Kim had two kids already when she hooked up with Kroy. They had only known her from watching RHOA, which was not a great impression to have floating in their heads. Kim said they came down and spent 10 days, but she didn’t think they saw the love between her and Kroy and just saw the negatives. In a defensive tone, Kroy said he felt judged by them and thought they were mean, inconsiderate and that’s why he doesn’t talk to them. Wow. So both Kim and Kroy are alienated from their parents. There are no grandparent figures for these kids, which is kind of sad considering there are 4 grandparents.
Lana is asked Two Truths and One Lie. (1) She dated a gigolo and drug dealer (2) She performed in front of 500 people (3) She went to a Michael Jackson concert. Brielle guessed correctly; she didn’t go to the Michael Jackson concert. What an interesting time we are having with the truths!
There’s a talking head to further explain how Kroy made his decision and how they put a lot into trying to get the parental relations to work, but it didn’t and it’s sad for the kids, but honestly, it was bringing down the family with the discord, so it’s nice to have that behind them. Kim says, who knows what the future holds, but for now, I have 6 kids to raise and protect.
Kim suggests it’s time to get in their jammies on and go to bed. So they all individually say goodnight and one by one file into the tent. Yes, the same tent, chuckles. Couldn’t they just have said goodnight, inside the tent, like the Waltons? Then we see a shot of the campsite, which, shame on mountain man, Kroy for leaving the fire going, all the lanterns are still on, candles on the table! And Kim sneaks out the tent with a wig in hand and hangs it over the top of a (lit) battery operated lantern. Which was a funny visual, but I can’t believe she had a wig made with pigtails and she wore it camping! There was a makeup mirror on that table earlier in the day, which was interesting too. I know, not everyone camps the same, but if you wanted a mirror when I went camping, you had to go find the car! So Kim leaves her wig at risk of catching fire and goes back in the tent asking Kroy if he wants to get lucky, which of course, is a joke, as there are 7 people sharing that tent.
Next week Kim is wanting to get her pre-baby figure back and meets with Dr. Lenny Hochstein, who was on Real Housewives of Miami with his wife Lisa. I guess he’s closer than Dr. Penis, I mean, Dubrow.
Click here to see a compilation video that explains Kim cutting her mother out of their lives.
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