S6E9 “There Will Be Bloodwork”
We begin the episode with Teresa waking up Milania in her ridiculous squeaky voice. She says she is trying to keep life normal, but nothing about their lives seem normal to me. Gia complains about all the younger ones making noise in the morning.
Now, on to Dina. They are attempting to put the dog with no front legs into her super fancy wheels, but pup has put on a few pounds and does not fit in her wheels. She will not be getting much exercise. The assistant, Luke, that we were introduced to years ago is moving to Ireland. Side note, that cat just makes me laugh. Lexi and Luke suggest making Dina a Match.com account.
Tre is now driving the kids to school. Gia gives Tre a pep talk about staying strong (I think this was filmed the day after the plea deal). Talking head of Joey saying how much he is worried about Tre and Juicy (did he get plugs on the top of his head?) He continues to ramble.
Now we are at Teresa and Rino’s. He went to the doc and got a prostate exam. Teresa cannot pronounce prostate…she keeps saying prostrate. His prostate is enlarged (TMI). Rino is having a colonoscopy, too. I actually kinda like when reality shows talking about doing these tests cause it just gets the rest of us to see they are not big deal. Rino comes out of the bathroom with stripper-like bikini undies. Ugh.
Melissa and Joey are with the architect to talk about the house they wanted to build (but are not longer building). 9000 square feet of Joey Gorga with a swim up bar and caves in the pool. Allegedly super unique 3.8 million in construction. Joey wants to live in this fantasy house for a year and 5 months and then move on to a bigger house. Does he live in never never-land?
Amber and Jim are headed to mass on Ash Wednesday. I am really shocked their church allowed the cameras in. She claims to be praying for herself because she is going in for her 5 year check-up for The Cancer (drink) and Tre because their “dark time” is very similar. She goes outside right after the service to call Tre (who is working out at her gym) and grill her about all the articles that were in the paper from the plea deal. And now the questions…what do we expect from you? What’s the next step? Is there anything in question? (Tre can’t answer anything cause the questions keep coming.) Tre is rolling her eyes and her training is motioning for her to wrap it up. I think I would pretend to be going into a tunnel and hang up. Or say, “Stop being a rude, nosy bitch!” Amber says in her talking head she is aware she was asking too much. (BTW, Tre’s hair looks super nice at the gym! When I work out, my head is in a pony so I don’t get sweat on my neck!)
Dina is taking Luke to the airport (well, a car service is taking him to the airport and they are riding along.) Seems as though Dina has really attached herself to Luke and Lexi has bonded with him, too. Dina’s talking head tells us she vented to Luke about Caroline and Jac. Says she prob dumped on him a lot and she calls him a loyal soldier. There is a long goodbye outside in the bitter cold. Lots of tears.
Amber and Jim are in the car headed to the doctor. OY! In her talking head, her make-up looks like Tamra’s bad make-up from OC. She has the white eyeliner on and it just looks so wrong. Jim is actually pretty supportive during this scene. Totally different guy from what we have seen.
Melissa and Joe are packing for the weekend away in Florida. The puppy, Valentino, is on the bed and much on Mel’s shoes. They begin talking about the group that is going on the trip. Joey acts all surprised that Amber and Jim are going. Um, this isn’t his first trip to the rodeo. Of course the ones that create the most drama are coming on the relaxing get-away!
Teresa and Rino are in the kitchen. Rino is getting ready for his colonoscopy. He needs to start drinking that crap that cleans you out. I can’t believe he is gonna drink that crap while he is cooking dinner for his family! Teresa’s mom, niece, Nicole, Dina and Lexi show up for dinner. And I am just feeling horrible for poor Rino. I would be super pissed watching everyone eat while I drink that crap. Santa asks some questions about the Ladybug event. Lexi and Giovanni will be helping at the fashion show. Dina shares that Tre is not doing so well. She talks about the vultures (Amber). Dina is not happy about the prying. Dina is definitely one of the friends that will not ask questions and will wait for a friend to bring it up.
Rino is now not feeling so well and in the bathroom miserable. Not sure if this was necessary, but might be the most “real” part of the show.
Amber and Jim are now in their kitchen. Amber’s tests were inconclusive. She is obviously at the level 10 for her stress. She obviously overthinks things and this is putting her over the edge. Her shirt is weird and I am totally distracted by this. I can barely listen to her cause the shirt is so annoying. She is crying and saying she can’t go to Florida right now. Oh no. I just noticed that Jim’s sweater is a little effeminate and now I am distracted by that.
Rino is at the clinic for her colonoscopy. The procedure is about 30 minutes. Rino is quite comical even while getting ready for a colonoscopy. Teresa is Rino’s calming force. I am dying…ROFLMAO!!! And it appears we are gonna get the full colonoscopy experience with Rino. He is still making jokes. Nicole calls Teresa while she is in the waiting room to tell her Amber called and said her test results were weird and she cannot go to Florida. Rino is now in recovery and doc claims his colon is perfectly clean and healthy. Good for Rino!
Now we are at Tre’s. She is looking at old photos and Dina arrives. Dina shares that she saved Lexi’s bellybutton. Gross. Tre is now saying she isn’t goin to Florida. Dina really doesn’t want to go on this trip with these crazies alone. Tre decides it’s time to spill the beans about the gossip from Ms. Gotti. Dina is convinced that Rino was joking when he shared this ridiculous story with Victoria Gotti. Dina seems a little stressed now that she knows this info.