Brandi Glanville Podcast 31

brandi-glanville-unfiltered

Brandi Glanville

Podcast 31

By Kit 9

 

Guest: “Dr.” Ava Cadell, sex expert

Brandi wants to know how the male brain works. She thinks most men cheat and wants to know why. Cadell, who bills herself as a Dr., says men feel they need more variety than women. She doesn’t think monogamy is natural for humans. Cadell says she travels the country and lectures about how to keep your relationship exciting so that your man won’t stray (got that, ladies-it’s all on YOU) Brandi asks if she should have brought in other women into her sex life. Cadell doesn’t think it has to be another person, it can be another location to have sex or another position.

Dr. Cadell thinks Shades of Gray revealed many women want to get kinky. Brandi says women are reticent to discuss sex (presumably women not named Brandi). Cadell wants women to be more assertive when it comes to sex. She brought Brandi a bunch of instructional sex videos and speaks specifically about cunnilingus and claims she has over 100 oral sex techniques (Dr. Kit calls BS and thinks she’s probably just repeating herself after #25). Brandi says she’s getting turned on but that she currently has a bladder infection so it’s hard for her to think about this stuff right now.

Cadell claims she, “tamed a stallion” in getting her husband and that qualifies her for her line of, “work”. She says that the longer the leash you give your husband, the less they want to stray (Dr. Kit says that if the leash is long enough, they are straying, genius). Brandi jumps on the blame the woman bus and says some of her friends just “stop trying” and “stop wearing mascara” after marriage and (horror!) wear sweatpants all the time. Cadell counsels couples on the brink of divorce and says that she’s had men complain that their wives don’t give them oral sex anymore (no word if the men are still giving their wives oral sex or whether the wives are still attracted to their fat, slobby husbands).

Brandi asks if she watches people having sex. No, she doesn’t. Cadell thinks women should compliment their man every day. Brandi thinks you should tell your mate what you want sexually. The Dr. agrees but thinks women may feel embarrassed. Brandi thinks men love dirty talk. The Dr. suggests saying the man’s name while doing so and if you forget his name, just call him, “God”…..(Dr. Kit would like to comment but her head is spinning from the resulting facepalm).

Cadell thinks men just want an orgasm but women want the “whole production”-romance, communication, cuddling, etc. Brandi says she can have sex with no emotional attachment but that it’s more enjoyable with someone you love. Cadell says that women want to know that they are more than just a “a piece of meat” and “something to be penetrated”.

Brandi blathers on for the umpteenth time about her ex/not-ex/ex/not-ex BF and their epic sex. BORING. Brandi talks about how it’s hard for women her to find men in LA because men her age are dating 20yo’s who “can’t carry on a conversation” (as opposed to Brandi who, between bouts of extreme public drunkenness and nationally televised screaming matches, loves to talk philosophy and politics).

Cadell says you should go to the places where the type of man you’re looking for. “Like happy hour in the financial district?”, Brandi asks and she’s not kidding. She apparently did that when she lived in NY. Cadell suggests Brandi have 3 different men to satisfy all her needs-one for a father type she can respect, one to have fun with and to stimulate her emotionally (Dr. Kit suggests spreading out her Rx’s over three pharmacies so no single one knows how many STD she has from banging three guys at once).

They tackle swinging and threesomes. Cadell thinks it can make a relationship hotter but it’s not for every couple-like, for example, ones who are the jealous type (well said, Dr, well said). Cadell doesn’t recommend swinging/threesomes with friends or coworkers because things can get, “messy”. Instead, she recommends finding sex partners on the internet (Dr. Kit says getting involved with friends, sexually, is arguably less messy than possibly being murdered by random freaks you solicit on the internet).

Dr. Cadell says you can “grow your braincells” by masturbating with your non prominent hand (Dr. Kit says you can grow your braincells by avoiding any of Cadells’ seven books). Cadell also recommends mixing things up with things like “mammary sex”, aka, titty effing (and, with that, Dr. Kit, has officially checked out. You’re on your own, guys). Brandi’s favorite sex memory is having sex outside with the thrill of being caught. Brandi an exhibitionist? No!

They talk sex toys. Brandi uses something called, The “We Vibe”(??)but she worries that it’s “stretching her out” and she doesn’t want to be “a Grand Canyon”. Cadell has brought a toy with her called the Screaming O which is a combination cock ring and vibrator. It also glows in the dark (get out those x-mas lists, ladies!). Cadell talks about her upbringing and being raised by nuns who told her if she kissed a boy, she’d have a baby pop out of her mouth. So, she did everything but kiss. Brandi says, “nuns lie” and Cadell agrees.

Brandi says she will spend the next 7 days reading Cadell’s book while her UTI clears up(I will spend the next 7 days trying to forget I know that and everything else said in this podcast).

———–
I couldn’t resist and looked up “Dr.” Cadell and found some interesting tidbits. She has some TV and film credits including a British sex comedy from 1979 called Spaced Out about horny female aliens(is there any other kind?) She had an uncredited bit part in one of my favs, History of the World, Part 1 (“It’s good to be the King!”) as well as Dallas, The Fall Guy and The Loveboat. And, what looks like a bunch of softcore porny stuff.

She claims she has two Doctorates-one from something called Janus University, formerly Newport University, which no longer offers degrees and is “not accredited by any higher education accreditation organization recognized by the United States Department of Education or the Council for Higher Education Accreditation.” And, most hilariously…….”In July 2007, the Secretariat of Public Education (SEP) of Mexico issued an alert listing eleven institutions that were unaccredited in Mexico, including Newport University.” She has another degree from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, which is also not accredited and which Quackwatch identifies as a “Questionable Organization”. Dr. Kit concurs.

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The next blog will have a Survivor recap.

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61 Responses to Brandi Glanville Podcast 31

  1. Powell says:

    Good morning everyone. OMG Kit. You did it again? You poor thing. But we love you for it. 😀
    It’s #TGIT. Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal & How to Get Away With Murder. ABC will have my full attention tonight. 😀 Have a great day everyone.

    • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

      I CAN NOT WAIT TO WATCH SCANDAL!!!
      I hope “How to get away with murder” is good-I need a good show to follow Scandal!!

    • Exit4 says:

      Got sick of Greys a few years ago-but I’m all in for Scandal and I’m interested in How to get away with murder!

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        I quit Greys a few seasons ago-my niece just started watching it on Netflix and she is completely obsessed…she was crying about Denny yesterday!!

        • Powell says:

          Oh that was a tear jerker. 😭😭

        • I still can see that scene with Izzy walking through the hospital in her prom dress with the two guys and the music playing, I might cry… I still watch, I missed one season and then PBB started watching with me. I still think the gun man on the loose in the hospital was one of the best shows I’ve seen on TV!

          • ladebra says:

            omg I love the little Squirrel! Hey PP, how Princess Beanie Boo doing? those last tests do some good?

            • Thanks for asking about PBB! The test came back negative, so that is good news..there is nothing in her neck, throat or abdomen causing her to cough. And the coughing has really been minimal. Unless triggered by something. She is doing 15 units and has all As and her professors seem to embarrassingly love her work. “Best work in the class!” is not something she wants said as she is walking up to get her paper back…. I say “Why not???” lol!

              #f*ckingthecurve

          • Powell says:

            😭😭😭😭
            Poor Catherine Hygil’s career hasn’t worked out how she hoped after leaving.

            • Yeah, and then she did that Janet Evanovich movie as Stephanie Plum and I refuse to watch it because I love those books. They make me laugh so much! I have heard that it was all her mother’s fault, lol.

      • Barb (Just Wondering In Jersey) says:

        I’m sick of it too. I also can’t stand Ellen Pompeo but I still watch it, sigh.

  2. Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

    Dr. Jill thinks this is one of the funniest blogs in “the history of the world” ( one of my faves also-“you look like the piss boy”…”well you look like a bucket of sh*t! Hahaahhaa it’s so funny).
    Brandi is a moron-who the F thinks men cheat b/c women stop wearing mascara!! Hahaha it’s so stupid!!! Why would she ask if she should have brought other women into her marriage? She did-and we all know how that worked out right??
    Thanks for the laughs this morning Dr. kit…mammary sex….I CANT EVEN!!! Hahahahaha!!!

    • Powell says:

      Um men will say their lady’s hair looks nice, her dress and shoes are pretty, she smells really nice, her nails look good, her makeup is just right, maybe even her lipstick is a pretty color but he’s not going to say a DAMN thing about mascara. Guys aren’t that deep about the cosmetics their lady’s is wearing. Brandi just can’t get over Eddie. I think he defines her in her mind. I bet if he came to her saying he was a fool the way he treated her and he wants her back, I think she would take him back.

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        I think she would take him back in a New York minute!! And her Brandi bunch wouldn’t know what the hell to do!!!

      • Orson says:

        Straight men will only say a woman’s shoes are pretty if she asks him. Otherwise, men don’t care about women’s shoes. At all.

      • T-Rex says:

        My husband of twenty three years could not tell you if my lipstick was a pretty color, could not tell you what color shoes I had on at any given time, and whether they were heels or flats, and he certainly doesn’t ever call shoes pretty, LOL! He also doesn’t say a dress looks pretty, he would say I looked pretty in that dress, which is what most men do. Those two morons couldn’t figure out how any man thinks which is why neither of them have one!

  3. T-Rex says:

    Dr. Kit(you probably have more credentials to be called doctor than the quack The-LIAR-SUPREME-SLUTBAG-MORON-STFUBrandi interviewed), thanks for taking one for the team. Hmmmm something i noticed was that The-LIAR-SUPREME-SLUTBAG-MORON-STFUBrandi questioned whether she should have brought other women into her bed with her husband if that would have saved their marriage. Okay you dolt with an IQ of a SLUG(sorry to all SlUGS worldwide for the comparison), you have written in a book, given interviews, etc that you had an OPEN relationship with your EX for a time, and you both brought women into your bedroom to help keep from straying outside the marriage! UGH, she is just SO moronic and stupid, and proves her best skillset after DRUNKENSLUT, is clearly a LYING LIAR who LIES about LIES and then LIES some more.

  4. plainviewsue says:

    I’ve said it before. I will say it again. Kit, you deserve combat pay for listening to this moronic woman & her guests.

  5. VV™ says:

    Kim Zolciak is a big manipulator. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

    • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

      Did she do something new to bring on this statement or you saying in general that she’s a manipulator? (I noticed you said that’s all you are going to say about that but you know I like to know everything!!)

      • Powell says:

        Yes VV. That’s cryptic. Enquiring minds want to know cuz we’re nosey. 😉

        • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

          YES WE ARE!! And proud of it!!

          • VV™ says:

            I’m watching re-runs. I can see her BS so clearly. I feel for Kroy. He’s easily manipulated and led.

            • Powell says:

              Yeah in some ways he is. I do think Kroy picks his battles w/Kim. I’ve said it before but I do think they have real love for one another.

              • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

                Kroy ( my iPad wanted to change his name to KROGER!!) used to be so soft spoken and kind-now he curses around the kids as much as Kim does!! Every other word out of their mouth is F-which I use myself but not to the extent that they do!!

                • T-Rex says:

                  I don’t have kids, and have been known to “cuss like a sailor” but when I am around children or anyone under 21 pretty much, I don’t use foul or vulgar language, because I am a grown-ass adult who doesn’t have the emotional IQ of 12 year old like these two idiots. Sorry but to me it’s NOT okay to use that kind of language around your children.

                  • Jan (TexasTart) says:

                    I agree about the language. I think Lainey put that best the other day, about using the English language and educate your kids accordingly. As a parent you owe your kids the tools to be respected in society and if they ditch that as an adult and swear like a sailor, then they are the only ones to blame!

                • Powell says:

                  True.

              • VV™ says:

                I think we are getting the lovey dovey edit on that show.

  6. Powell says:

    Just heard on Dish Nation that Leanne is now attending a palates class that Brandi has been going to for over 10yrs. The palates studio is very small. “Sources” that attend classes there say that the studio is so small and palate studios in LA are a dime a dozen so why is Leanne going there? Of course Leanne tweeted about it and of course Brandi falls right into Leanne’s trap of tweeting something. I don’t like Brandi. I think Leanne has problems no matter what she says. And for that matter I think Eddie has problems because there’s no way in the world he can’t see that Leanne copying Brandi and sending tweets to get a rise out of Brandi is kookoo crazy. After all these yrs he can’t call these things a coincidence.

    • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

      So far the only real proof that Leann actually went to the same studio is coming from a bunch of Brandi lovers on twitter. Brandi tweeted about “someone” going to her little unknown studio and of course she’s talking about Leann but who knows if it’s true? Leann tweets that she’s doing Pilates and the Brandi lovers lose their minds b/c ONLY Brandi is allowed to do Pilates!!! Of course this riles the Brandi bunch and next thing you know “someone” told Brandi that Leann was at HER studio! There is no proof from anyone but the Brandi bunch and the “source” for Dish Nation is a group of tweeters who hate Leann and await her every tweet. I actually read their tweets to Dish Nation and they gave them their whole story right on twitter-and no part of their story is actually proven so far!!

      • Powell says:

        True? IDK but I do think that if he is/does cheat on her she would just live w/it in private and deny it in public. IDK if she doesn’t want to be alone but I bet she doesn’t want to hear “I told you so.”, so she’d rather stay married to him.

        • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

          This story has been told been told at least 12 times-Leann’s haters are crossing their fingers that this time it’s true and Brandi’s lovers are doing the same. I wonder if any of them ever think of what those boys will go through if this is actually true.

  7. Powell says:

    Well Kit all I can say is the “Dr.” who deems to me bought her degree off of the internet is nuts. And We’ve “known” Brandi for three/4 yrs now and I think that’s how long she’s had a UTI.

    • Trashy T says:

      I forgot all the profound statements we’ve enjoyed over the years! Thanks for the link, Jill …and, Kit, thanks for taking one for the team. Don’t know how you can stand it. Off to buy the weekly trash… I love Thursdays!

  8. Dr. Kit, I am sitting here on my couch in my pjs giggling like an idiot!! Thanks for a great blog. I hope today is better than yesterday. I can’t imagine how bad your day was if listening to B’s podcast was not ‘as bad’!!!!

  9. Dr. Kit you are the best. I have been happily married for 31 years and the only thing I agree with is to complement your husband every day. I do because he is a good man.

  10. Powell says:

    Watching HLN. Joe and Tre are selling the vaca home too. They’re buying an $1.5 mill 8,000 sq ft home. I don’t know if this is the home she looked at on the show.
    Some tabloid says B is dead broke. I don’t know how that could be true.
    Mike “The Situation” was in court today for tax evasion in the tune of $9 mill in income.
    Inspector T-Rex you have the 411 on any of this?

    • T-Rex says:

      B as in Bethenny??? She is MOST certainly NOT dead broke. Her deal with Seagrams is a “structured deal” so she gets paid out through out the years, on top of the lump sum she had already been paid. The book she just wrote is going to be a best seller and she will get most of the money of that sale, as this isn’t some Bravo-co-ghost-written book like many of the other Ho-wives shill out. The other books she wrote she had done outside of the Bravo clutches so she made a lot of money on those too, she knows how to broker a good deal, unlike most of the other Ho-wives.

      TheConvictFelons are selling both their homes, they have actually had their home on the Jersey shore for sale since Labor day weekend ended. I posted that way before the notice they were selling their over-priced monstrosity of a mansion. I haven’t heard they have actually purchased another home, I don’t think that they have the money to do that, unless they are taking out a loan on the home they are selling. That would mean they would have three mortgages(first home, NEWsecond home and secondhome loan), and I don’t think that their income would support that at this time and they can’t forge documents any longer. Who knows though some bank may still give them a loan. We shall see. Her book sales(she makes very little money on these) and appearances have dropped dramatically. She only makes money off that Fabellini stuff when she is making the appearances, it’s not like Bethenny’s deal, she makes pittance on the store sales.

      Mike the situation is in deep doo-doo and will definitely serve some time, especially in light of the ConvictFelon’s situation. He was warned about the tax payments a few years back and continued to not pay taxes, along with his brother, I would bet they both get about two years of three hots and a cot, courtesy of the FedPen.

      • VV™ says:

        I don’t think Bethenny is broke either. We need to remember she got half of the SGM sale. Her partner got the other half. That sale made her a millionaire.
        She also has a lot of other products on the SG brand; food bars, pretzels, humus, spadex type thingys, vitamins, creams etc, etc. I don’t know how profitable all these other ventures are but the investment had to be high.
        If I see her coming back to Bravo, then there might be something about those rumors. In the meantime, I don’t believe she’s broke.

    • VV™ says:

      Powell,

      Who will finance Joe and Tre?

    • Exit4 says:

      They looked at that house on the show. Doesn’t mean they’re buying it! The third property they’re selling is also up for auction. Weird. And joes mom has a second property going up for auction-bit I think she’s walking away deliberately.

      I don’t think they’re doing anything other then waiting for Thursday to come and be over.

    • Orson says:

      I’m just wondering who’s going to give the Guidices a $1.5 million mortgage.

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