The Andy Cohen Diaries: A Deep Look at a Shallow Year – Review of the First Half

The Andy Cohen Diaries: A Deep Look at a Shallow Year

by Veena

Preamble:  I did not wake up this morning thinking I’d buy and read Andy Cohen’s new book The Andy Cohen Diaries – A Deep Look at a Shallow Year, but Jill (no not that Jill) reported that it was worth a read, so I impulsively downloaded it onto my kindle, and haven’t out it down all day – except to tweet, or post on the blog, or garden, or eat.  In full disclosure, the only other “housewife” type book I’ve read was Melissa Gorga’s “Fifty Shades of Gorga,” and that was only because I read the first chapter for free, and it was so awful it was laughable, so I figured the rest of the book would amuse me.  It did.  But in a Melissa is so completely un-self aware that this book is unintentionally funny and awful  at the same time sort of way.  Andy’s book is nothing like that.

Review – of the first half.  Because that’s all I’ve read so far.

Andy’s book is a day by day recount of his life over the period of a year, written – as the title suggests – in diary fashion.  It’s a messy look at his sex life, dating, love affair (with his dog), drug use, weight gain and loss, insecurities (he calls it co-dependence), professional highs and lows as he navigates his way through a jet set bi-coastal lifestyle full rubbing elbows with the rich and famous.

It works because he doesn’t hold back.  He’s fat.  He’s gross.  He’s humiliated when photographed picking his nose.  He’s sad that he’s too low on the totem pole to snag an invite to a Vanity Fair party, and happy when it finally arrives.  He frets about his various appearances – and the amount and variety of them is staggering.  It’s a tiny bit like watching an episode of Seinfeld – where Jerry frets about his various appearances on talk shows.  Which might be intentional – or subliminal – he’s good friends with the Seinfelds.

For fans of the Housewives, there are some juicy tidbits interwoven in the book that explain a little of what goes on behind the scenes.  It sounds like an fairly constant barrage of texts and phone calls.

So how does he feel about the housewives?  It’s a mixed bag.  It’s pretty clear he adores some of them – like Lisa Vanderpump (they tend to go out after WWHL or reunions), Carole (doesn’t think of her as a housewife) and NeNe (taping a WWHL with NeNe is just easy.)  Others are just work to be around, and still others (and their husbands) are a pain in the ass.

Tuesday Sept. 10, 2013 – he’s at a party.

“The place was teeming with Housewives …. I feel so co-dependent in Housewife-heavy public situations, like I need to spend quality time with all of them.  I don’t want anyone feeling like I dissed them, because trust me, I will wind up hearing about it later one way or another.”

“Tuesday Sept. 17, 2013

…. Major housewives drama offscreen this week.  We are replacing several women in two cities.  So far it’s been sad and energizing all at once.  Hopefully we are adding life to both series by shaking thing up.  I spent forty-five minutes on the phone today with one of their husbands who was begging for his wife’s job back, saying they have no backup plan, and I was telling him he never should have banked on this as his career.  I had this same conversation a couple years ago with a (crying, literally) husband from another city and it is not pleasant.  …..  Then Ramona called upset because I had invited Jill back to play tennis for a scene.  Apparently a cast revolt was brewing about her coming back for even one scene.  I completely understood her point of view, actually, and we killed the shoot (which necessitated a long follow-up call with Jill.  And then last night NeNe was on (WWHL) …. and I did something to piss Linnethia off and I can’t figure out what it was, but she shut down on the air.  Drama in four cities.  I kind of love it.

Thursday November 14, 2013

“Carole Radziwill texted me saying she’d love some doggy time and she came over and got Watcha and they went to SoHo.”  showing how close he is to Carole.

Later that day ….  “Someone leaked a story to RadarOnline that I was actually fired or pushed out (of Bravo’s executive team.)  I’m pretty sure it was a former Househusband.  Radar will print anything.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

“I got a message from Teresa saying congrats on my new deal.  She said she wanted to wait until it was final to call me.  I mean, did she know that I’ve been working on this deal for nine months?  Was she aware?  Then she said, “I think we should partner together.  I’m going to make you millions.  I’m going to make you richer than Ryan Seacrest.”  Intriguing.’

Monday Dec. 2, 2013

…”in the meantime, Patti Stanger is on Wednesday with Robin Quivers and Patti is saying that she has to sit next to me. (There are exactly five Bravo stars who have a thing about sitting next to me.)  We told her no because Robin has never been on … I’m sure we haven’t heard the end of this.

Monday Dec. 17, 2013

“Wacha is at a photo shoot with Heather Thomas.  She needed a cute dog …”  then later that day,

“My show was so irritating.  Brandi made an inadvertently racist comment about blacks not being able to swim on RHOBH last week.  I have been dealing with a lot of shit coming my way.”

Thursday Jan 30, 2014

“Today we had three-city Housewife drama.  Spent a fair amount of time on the phone with Lisa Vanderpump, who is not thrilled with something coming up on RHOBH,” then he talks about Phaedra not wanting to come on WWHL because of the charges filed against Apollo, and Ramona filing for divorce.

Thursday Feb 7, 2014

On the BH reunion “Two of the Housewives refused to sit next to Carlton because they believed that she had put spells on them, or that somehow she would put a spell on them.”  He talks about how he regrets not giving Carlton a more rounded edit, and that he knew going into the reunion that Joyce and Carlton wouldn’t be asked back, but didn’t think they were aware of it yet.  He also talked about trying to do some conflict resolution between Brandi and Lisa, and Kyle and Lisa, and saw genuine tears in Brandi and Kyle’s eyes, and hurt in Lisa’s eyes.

Tuesday Feb 11, 2014

“Tonight was Radzi’s book party at her house.  I re-met Kristen …  I tried to prep her husband, Josh, because I think it’s going to be a rough season for him.  We show him being tough on his wife.”

Monday Feb 19, 2014

He talks about an incredible party he’s at, then after pages of name dropping mentions, “Oh, and amidst it all the Countess walked up in a white gown.  And Carole was there too, not that I think of Carole as a Housewife, but she is one.”

So those are just some of the juicier quotes from the first half of his book.  The book really humanizes Andy – and amid the partying, whoring, over drinking, over eating, drugs, rock ‘n roll, and jaded moments, are glimpses of the wide-eyed, insecure young boy that moved to New York because he was addicted to pop culture.

_________________________________

 

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About Veena (NMD)

Just a housewife ... who loves this place .... and loves to write ... You can reach me through this email: nomoredrama8@gmail.com. Lynn's Place is in tribute to Housewives blogger Lynn Hudson, who passed away in August of 2012.
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187 Responses to The Andy Cohen Diaries: A Deep Look at a Shallow Year – Review of the First Half

  1. Powell says:

    Bloop! 😉

  2. LaineyLainey says:

    Dang girl, that was fast!!!!!

  3. Powell says:

    HAA! Kyle & Joyce thought Carlton would put a spell on them? 😆 Too funny.

  4. Mel says:

    I have never purchase any housewives related merchandise, however I am def. gonna purchase this book.

  5. Powell says:

    Who are the 2 husbands that hung their hat on a career on HWs? Ritchie one?

    • Powell says:

      Oh. Reid?

    • Veena (NMD) says:

      I think Simon is the crier.

    • kit9 says:

      I don’t see that as Richie. He is in a business that isn’t construction related so vulnerable to economic swings. He owns gas stations. Pretty stable. And they built a new house after…What about Jim Belino? I don’t think we still know what he does for a living. And, we know they had real financial issues. That new, last house he and Alex were in reeked of ‘rental’.

      • Exit4 says:

        Kit-you have to read it. If not, you’re missing that’s in real time as written and the scenarios. It’s the last year. The only people fired in the timeframe for this part were Kathy, caroline, Gretchen and Jac. Powell too-when you read it-the husband who plead for the wife’s job because they had no backup plan. Laurita. The husband angry his wife was demoted (and who demanded to be in the opening) and who threw out the “we pay our taxes unlike others”-paraphrased-definitely Ritchie. No question. Veena didn’t include the part that was obviously Gretchen. The crier was before this-I buy it was Simon! Powell-Reid comes in later.

        • NJBev says:

          I would think the “hubs” that cried about no b/u plan would have to be Slade-
          even tho they aren’t married.. she/ he really have no b/u plan. I do not
          see Chris Laurita crying to Andy that he had no back up plan-
          I could be wrong, it wouldn’t be the first time!! 😉

          • Exit4 says:

            It’s not Slade-he gives clues-when he talks about Gretchen (and its obvs her) he refers to “her man”-you’ll see it when you read it! And you will! Lol

          • Orson says:

            I don’t remember if I said it before, but I sure thought it; being a HW or married to one is BAD for you if you’re someone’s employee. At the beginning, Alex was a graphic designer/artist for VS or A&F and Simon managed a hotel. Slade was raking in the bucks. And look what happened to them. Laurie was the only employee HW who ended up better, and that was, like Kim Z, spreading her legs to marry a wealthy man. Though I don’t think being a mistress like Kim is really the same as being an employee.

            • NJBev says:

              hehe
              Slade lost his income to the recession. 😉
              Everyone from the OC went broke- That’s why the entire
              series went to hell in a hand basket-
              the show was originally formatted to show us how
              the wealthy people “behind the Gates” lived
              (remember Jeana saying she didn’t care where her
              kids lived? She “owned 4 houses-let them pick one”)
              2 years later she owned NO houses and had to take in
              boarders to pay the mortgage on the one house she lived in.
              Slade lost everything to recession and ex-wives and most
              unfortunately, to an ill son(who was seen many times on
              first season). He just gave up-
              Laurie did get Lucky!!
              Vickie got really rich, but had to give 1/2 to Donn!

              Alex could have been seriously wealthy if Bethenny
              had used her design for Skinny Girl, which. IMO is better
              than the one they went with, and I’d bet Beth wishes she HAD
              gone w/ Alexs’ design b/c then her image would be forever
              linked with Skinny Girl!
              Simon got exactly what he wanted. 15 minutes of fame. 🙂
              But, I do regress, what was the point??!! lol 😉

              I loved your posts on the Veterans page- made me cry-
              a lot- but reminded me of what the day stands for, and for
              that, I thank you. 🙂

  6. Powell says:

    I bet JZ was cryyyyyyying 😭😭😭😭😭 bawling when Andy called her that she was a no go. Did you think JZ knew Ramona spoke w/Andy or is she finding out now?
    I kinda feel bad for Andy w/the calls, texts, office visits he gets from these people wanting something. I’d hate to deal w/that.

  7. Veena (NMD) says:

    I should have added – he doesn’t drink in January (not sober because he is high a lot) and finds a lot of WWHL not that funny. That sort of explains … things … everything seems funnier when you’re lubed up.

    He also has an incredibly strange schedule – he can’t do much until the show airs – so he has to date / socialize after midnight on show nights.

  8. cusi77 says:

    I DIE to know who was the husband whom called Andy crying because his wife got fired from Housewives!!!!! October 2013? Hmmmm…

  9. VV™ says:

    On the BH reunion “Two of the Housewives refused to sit next to Carlton because they believed that she had put spells on them, or that somehow she would put a spell on them.”
    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

  10. Powell says:

    Can y’all please tell Jim to shutout the EFF up!!

  11. Powell says:

    My problem is Jim is An idiot.

  12. VV™ says:

    IS THAT STUPID INSIPID TWIN TEREEEESA STILL ON THE RUMOR?

    Why isn’t her husband Rino rebutting this ON CAMERA to clear the issue for once and for all!

    TWINS BE GONE!!!💣💣💣💣

    • cusi77 says:

      At last!!!! Vv you are watching the idiot Teresa A blaming Tre for what VG said? Teresa A wouldn’t have any story line without that rumor!

      Still disliking JimNoBalls!

      • kit9 says:

        Neither would Tre. Tre was really a non factor all season until she brought Gotti on. The court stuff did nothing for the show because it was such old news. We’d all seen that happen months before and it was anticlimactic and boring.

  13. For those interested, you can read the first 39 pages of the book at Barnes and Noble online – that’s what I did when I saw Veena was reading the book. 😉

  14. chismosa says:

    Anyone know if Andy was supposed to be in my neck of the woods (😷🏃🏃🏃💨)
    Tonight?? What night was it?
    He’s cray to go there on a day when public schools were out.

    How does he do this with constant “supposed” live WWH??

    Pretaped A G A I N ??????

    • chismosa says:

      The man RUNNING ON MY PHONE IS NOT BLONDE WordPress

      Pay attention PUH leaze

      – they’re not rerunning the reunion again tonight. Super super odd

    • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

      The book talks about how they pre tape WWHL a lot-apparently it’s the worst kept secret in NY!! But he does do a lot of things before the show when it is live-like go to book signings and shows (he has to leave by 10:30) .

  15. NJBev says:

    Why in Goodness’ name would Victoria Gotti make this up??
    OOOhhh
    and a side note- I met VG many years ago in the Bahamas, prob
    right around when her series was just cancelled. (i didn;t know that-)
    -she was lovely. absolutely lovely. She spoke about how the hardest
    thing in her life was to be a good Mother- How “stuff” can over whelm,
    but mostly, that she felt that her sons were so important, yet she always
    felt that no matter what she did, it was never going to be enough-
    (at that point I felt it was a veiled reference to the fact that her husband
    was of no help-)

  16. Veena (NMD) says:

    Oh – and he’s fixated on Kevin Spacey not being out – but clearly being gay.

  17. chismosa says:

    Veena thanks for the review will read a bit later after taking a shot of something

    Thank you ! ✨

  18. NJBev says:

    Bobby- you never had her back!

  19. Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

    Thank The Lord above the men are exiting stage left…adios morons!!

  20. Veena (NMD) says:

  21. Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

    Comments are posting weird? My reply is for VV about Melissa not emitting she knew Dina’s boyfriend-who was actually maybe Melissa’s boyfriend back in the day-according to a blogger??

  22. Queen Butter Bean says:

    So the premiere of Beverly Hills is next week and they’re saying all the HW will be there – I wonder if that includes Carlton and Joyce.

  23. VV™ says:

    TERESA THE TWIN IS DELUSIONAL!!! OMG GET HER IFF THE SHOW💣💣💣💣

  24. VV™ says:

    The twins head got too big with this show.

    BE GONE NEXT SEASON! 💣💣💣

  25. NJBev says:

    Effin Teresa, the stupid beotch, she freaking believes that
    something that happened to Tree so many years ago is
    coming back to haunt her because of what she repeated
    what her husband said to someone else??
    I’m starting to think the B’tch is complaining too much….
    (me thinks she doest protest too much… )

  26. VV™ says:

  27. Veena (NMD) says:

    This woman will not go away

  28. Veena (NMD) says:

    Once again – this one needs to talk to her sister and get their stories straight about this “hugging it out” businesses – because Bobby, Amber and Jim continue to fake fight / trash talk

  29. Veena (NMD) says:

    I think Simon is the one Andy suspects of leaking that Andy was demoted or fired from Bravo to RadarOnline – there are hard feelings between those two – Andy hated Simon’s bravoratings.com website – especially when NY tanked.

    • VV™ says:

      How would Simon know? Is he that connected at Bravo? Perhaps, a clerical person that drafted the contracts, a disgruntled producer? How? Simon despises Andy and viceversa.

      • Veena (NMD) says:

        People start rumors; people hear rumors; people repeat rumors; Radar will print anything. This was leaked AFTER the news went official.

        IMO Andy negotiated a new relationship with Bravo – setting up his production company for 2 years – it wasn’t a bad thing – just a different thing. He was stretched pretty thin.

    • chismosa says:

      Can’t wait for Simon to settle in Australia and come back with BR!!!!!!
      🍝☕️

  30. Exit4 says:

    Just to throw this out there-in Andys book (binge read-had to) he mentions that teresa had a crisis counsellor who seemed to create more crisis!

  31. NJBev says:

    Soooooo
    The Euro show is doing so poorly they
    had to put them on the #The Peoples Couch???
    seriously?? The Euro’s suck that bad??

    • VV™ says:

      I think this show was a miss by Bravo….a big miss.

      • NJBev says:

        I T A
        I think the Shah’s of Sunset have it covered
        for all the “over the top” “obnoxious” foreigners
        for me. And even they have become “too” much.
        The woman from Albania? (when I have a problem
        I call the Prime Minister) 2 minutes with her were
        2 minutes I’ll never get back, unfortunately..

    • Powell says:

      I’ve never watched so I didn’t know who they were until I was reading tweet s and people were not happy the were on PC. They didn’t bring anything to it. Crazy girl broke the chandelier.

  32. VV™ says:

    ….and Jac Laurita will start mass tweeting in 5….4….3…2…

  33. Exit4 says:

    I’m sorry-but if anyone accused my husband of sleeping with my mom-the sounds you’d here from me would be hysterical laughter. As I would expect from most people. Either it’s a sad attempt at a storyline-or they hit a nerve.

  34. mrs peabody says:

    God those twins are disgusting esp Theresa. Please go away, I’ll actually take Jim over her any day.

  35. VV™ says:

    Teresa the twin said that her family was getting very popular and that Tre didn’t bring anything to the show. This is such an idiotic statement.

    • NJBev says:

      stupid is what stupid does*
      *i think that’s Forest.
      Forest Gump*

    • Rebecca can't understand why people don't appreciate the importance of dragons. says:

      And she will start socializing ane posting Twitter photos with Jacqueline and Kathy in 3, 2, 1….

    • ladebra says:

      It seemed to me that Teresa wasn’t on the show very much this season. And when she was on – except for The Gotti bs – she was fairly low key. She didn’t bring much to this season because she wouldn’t diacuss going to jail or pleading guilty.

      • VV™ says:

        That is probably the reason that ratings dropped, the fact the Teresa didn’t get too much air time. Make no mistake. Teresa IS the show, even when she was not on, she was the topic of conversation. They even brought Froggy and Looney Jac to talk about her.

  36. justanothermary says:

    For the first time since all the legal stuff began, I felt a little sorry for Tre at the end of the reunion. I still don’t believe for a moment that she has any remorse or is even really aware of the fact that people have been hurt by her actions, but for just a moment, I felt a little badly.

  37. Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

    • VV™ says:

      Here’s Kyle’s reply (no link for expediency)

      “@KyleRichards: “@fitzyandwippa: @BrandiGlanville said she’d slap @KyleRichards in the face if she could #RHOBH” So slapping @LisaVanderpump wasn’t enough?”

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        Season 3 is going to be on Bravo today
        #fakelawsuit
        #somebody’scrying
        #STFU
        #Brandiwasfanfavorite

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        Oh and b/c Kyle tweeted this all the Brandiacs are tweeting Andy to tell on her for giving out new season info…the Brandiacs are as smart as Brandi!!

  38. TexasTart says:

    Wow, winter 6 weeks early! I had to get out a coat! That’s not a complaint, just an observation.

    Thanks for the review, Veena. Looking forward to the next edition!

    Good day everyone! 😀

  39. Veena (NMD) says:

  40. Veena (NMD) says:
    • HuskerHuny says:

      Take a look at the above four people (I refuse to call them men). How in the world is Jim any worse (or better for that matter) than any of them? They all have talked trash at some time or another about the others and about their own families. No angels in the above picture.

  41. Veena (NMD) says:

  42. Veena (NMD) says:

    Luv this guy #survivorwinner

  43. Powell says:

    Good morning everyone. This will be the last day in the 60s. 😭😭😭😭😭 At least I’m not in Minnesota. ❄❄❄❄⛄⛄⛄❄❄⛄⛄ 😖😖 I hope you’re having a great day.

    • HuskerHuny says:

      Hey Miss Powell! 11 degrees here for hump day. But no wind and it’s bright and sunny. Could be a whole lot worse. Enjoy your 60s today.

    • Itsnotreality says:

      Hi, good morning it’s in the 70’s here in south Florida and I love it, the perfect temperature in my opinion.😊

  44. Thanks for this juicy info. Veena!

    Wow! You all are on the ball today. How much coffee has everyone had? Hehe I’m going to make another cup a coffee and start reading from the top.

    Have a great day everyone!

  45. VV™ says:

    Season 3 of RHOBH is on 👎 this is when Brandi became full time and Yolanda (the spirit of negativity) was added as a cast mate.

  46. shamrockblonde says:

    Dang it Veena!!!!! – you know I don’t like Andy Cohen – at all – and NOW, because of your blog, I will end up buying that book and reading every word of it!!!! WHY did you do that!!!!!

    and now Bravo has managed to ruin one of my favorite shows on Bravo – The People’s Couch – by including the Euros! the EUROS!! – WHY!!!! –

    *hugs NJ Bev really hard* – hello beautiful – hope all is well with you –

    where is T-Rex?

    Veena….thank you the dang blog, I really appreciate it…..Andy Cohen…grrrr..*stomps out of thread muttering*

  47. Now that is funny. Jill swore up and down she turned down the offer — liar again.

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