Brandi Glanville Podcast Recapped by Kit9
Guest: Stylist Sam Saboura
Has styled Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston when they were together(and now he’s on Brandi’s podcast? Dude.) He’s on a reality show where he dresses brides to be. Brandi talks about when she was married and had money and shopped at Fred Segal. She’d stalk the men’s section to meet guys(while married?). Sam says many people are now choosing to rent their wedding dresses. Brandi shops at both Neiman’s and the Dollar Store. She also likes Zara.
They talk Ariana Grande. Brandi is all excited to see her at some show she’s going to later. Sam thinks Ariana is too one note, style wise. Brandi think Ariana looks like a child despite being 21. Sam’s fav celeb is SJP. Sam talks about the longevity of his career and superstitiously “touches wood”(Brandi then says what you’d think she’d say).
Brandi brings up Rachel Zoe. Brandi makes a dig about Rachel’s age after Sam says he’s known her for a thousand years(she’s barely older than Brandi, right?). Sam only has good things to say about Rachel. Brandi says that designers don’t want to lend their clothes to reality stars(by ‘reality stars’, she means her. Tampax is on board, though. And, no, the tampon jokes are never going to get old. Ever).
Brandi says Rachel could “eat a sandwich”(between this and the age comment, Brandi’s going for some sort of hypocrisy medal). Brandi’s producer has some questions for Sam. Who is the best dressed person in Hollywood? J. Lo and Taylor Swift. Brandi likes Taylor’s music. Who could use some advice? Sam thinks Mariah could use some style help. So could Julianna Hough.
Brandi presents Sam with a picture of Jon Hamm that she says clearly shows the “outline of his penis and ball sac” and asks his fashion tip to fix the situation. “Underwear”. Then Brandi shows him a pic of Kenya and wants to know what he thinks of her outfit. He says, “oh no”. Brandi claims that Kenya keeps all the tags on her designer clothes. Sam thinks it’s because she wants to be able to return them. He says some good some bad about Kenya’s outfit before Brandi calls her the devil.
Brandi wants to know if Brad Pitt has a big penis(tiresome sigh). Sam explains when he worked with Brad, he was so nervous he could barely look him in they eye. Says he has great starpower. Brandi says she saw Brad and Angie once and she had a drink in her(or 12), so she actually went up to them and they were so nice to her. Brandi was with Kyle at the time who was freaking out. Brandi says that Kyle is no longer her friend.
Brandi thinks Jen Aniston has better style than Angie. Brandi wants to know if SJP is the “biggest bitch…we’ve all heard about”? Sam says absolutely not. Brandi brings up Janice Dickenson. Sam’s never dressed her but said he’s met her when he worked at the Gap and she used to come in with her kids-which prompts Brandi to exclaim, “you’re not allowed to have children!”(joking?). He thinks Janice was cool but completely crazy.
Brandi then asks if Sam thinks Janice was really raped by Bill Cosby . He pleads the 5th. Brandi wonders why the women would be silent for so long(lots of reasons, moron). Then sort of changes tune and says where there’s smoke, there’s fire. And thinks that Cosby is screwed if he talks and screwed if he doesn’t. She thinks Cosby “seems like a woman hater” and that he “might be bad”.
Brandi asks what he thinks about the Fashion Police cast who don’t have fashion backgrounds. He doesn’t think you can really “talk shit” if haven’t worked in the industry. Brandi doesn’t think they can be called fashion experts if they aren’t(like she can’t be called a comedian, since she’s not, right?). She says she likes the show.
Donald Trump comes up and Brandi says he’s “a doll”(a really really orange doll. With a comb over). Brandi says she judges people by how their kids act before praising Trump’s kids(in a deft move of completely predictable rich person azz kissing). They play a really dumb game of marry, shag, kill which I’ll spare you. Brandi then asks if Sam is a “bottom or a top”. I should have spared you that. Sorry.