“Dethroned” – by HydrangeaHussy
It’s the Season Finale and Sur photoshoot time! We begin with the photoshoot prep at a little pink motel. Lisa arrives to meet with the photographer. She wants it to be spectacular because it’s the 10th anniversary of Sur. The staff begins to arrive and get ready. They’re going for a 1950’s vibe. Katie has given up on Stassi because she still hasn’t been forgiven for going to Scheana’s bachelorette. She’s still waiting on Other Tom to propose. I’m not sure that he’s worth waiting for. We get to see a short clip of Tom being a diva about his hair. Lisa directs the photoshoot and the first set of photos looks great.
Between shoots, Scheana pulls Tom aside to talk to him about what Jax said at dinner. She tells Tom that Jax told the table that he 100% cheated on Ariana in Miami. Tom is upset that Jax did that mere days after Tom asked him to stop talking to Kristen. Tom doesn’t actually deny it, but says that he shouldn’t have to defend himself against Jax’s lies. Scheana feels like Jax has been telling the truth more this year. Jax has her snowed. Once again, Jax has caused problems at a photoshoot. The shots of Tom and Jax are very awkward.
They move on to a pool shot. James tells us that he’s more than just a busboy with mad DJ skills, he’s got a “look” too. Excuse me while I stop laughing. This guy could not be any more full of himself if he tried. Back in the makeup trailer, Scheana tells Ariana about the dinner with Jax. Ariana doesn’t believe a word that Jax says. She says that she was talking to Tom the whole night, so he couldn’t have hooked up Miami girl. Scheana brings up Eddie, saying that he was texting Brandi while they were together. Ariana doesn’t believe that Tom is a liar or a cheater, although Scheana points out that it took Tom a long time to tell Kristen the truth about them. Scheana thinks that something happened in Miami and that Ariana is being naïve. After Ariana repeats that she does not believe that Tom cheated, Scheana agrees to drop it. I think it was good of Scheana to tell Ariana what was being said, but she needs to drop it now.
Other Tom goes to the psychologist by himself. He has been putting forth more effort since he told Katie about his cheating. He says that he wants to repair the relationship quickly and that maybe proposing will do that. But he’s also scared of committing to someone for life. It sounds like he isn’t ready for marriage. You can’t fix a relationship by getting married. Other Tom thinks that maybe he should just let Katie go because they don’t want the same things right now.
The photoshoot finishes up and Tom decides to talk to Jax. He tells Jax that he’s tired of Miami being brought up and asks what Jax said at dinner. Jax gets defensive, saying that they didn’t talk about Miami. He really cannot be this stupid, can he? He says that he didn’t talk to Kristen, and tells Tom that Scheana will back him up. Jax tries to turn it around and claims that Tom won’t let Miami go. Jax also claims that he’s only said that he wasn’t there in the room with Tom. Jax will say whatever he needs to keep himself out of trouble. Ariana approaches and tells them that Scheana also told her about the dinner. Jax walks off, saying that he’s done with the conversation. He says that they need to work out their own issues. Um, Jax is the cause of the issue. Zero responsibility for his actions. Maybe he should date Brandi? Why is anyone still friends with him?
Stassi visits Lisa at Sur. She’s glad that Lisa didn’t black ball her after their last visit. When Lisa brings up her off to have Stassi style the shoot, Stassi says that she doesn’t get along with most of the staff. Lisa correctly notes that Stassi has cut them all out of her life. Stassi admits that Katie has been a good friend to her, but says that she was also a good friend to Katie. Stassi didn’t think she bullied Katie, she just thought that Katie agreed with everything she said. She doesn’t regret letting anyone go. Lisa invites Stassi to the staff party and wants her to talk to Katie. Stassi agrees.
After James begs, Lisa agrees to let Kristen come to the party. James tells Kristen about the confrontation between Tom and Jax after the photoshoot. He says that Jax denied what he said at dinner. Kristen says that the party is about proving she’s not a liar and that Tom cheated. She seriously needs to let this go! She’s going to ruin another party because of her vendetta against Tom and Ariana. James tells her that, after the party, she has to be done. He’s trusting her not to cause a scene. Why would he trust her? She’s proven over and over again that all she does is cause trouble.
The whole group is at Sur for the party. Katie wonders why Kristen is there when she doesn’t have a job or friends at Sur. Stassi is going to stay until Jax arrives. Scheana isn’t surprised that Stassi is there because she will never miss an open bar. Stassi begins the night by doing shots with Kristen. Katie wonders why Stassi is being friendly with Kristen, but ignoring her. Kristina, who’s vying for Stassi’s-Number-One, says that Katie would have greeted Stassi if she really cared. Katie has tried to fix their friendship more than once. Why should she continued to be rebuffed by Stassi? This ball is in Stassi’s court. She decides that, since Katie hasn’t approached her, she will talk to Katie. Stassi wants to know why things are so awkward, but Katie says that it’s Stassi’s fault. Katie points out that she’s tried to connect with Stassi, but Stassi won’t return her calls. She tells Stassi that she would know that if she took any interest in anyone else. I love that Katie is standing up for herself!!! She hasn’t done anything wrong. Stassi won’t take any responsibility for her part in their problems. Stassi really expected that Katie would just apologize. Maybe Stassi and Jax were really perfect for each other? Katie is letting go of her anger, but Stassi seems to be holding onto it. I think Stassi is unhappy unless she’s at the center of some drama.
Jax arrives while Stassi is talking to Katie. Tom is not happy to see his former friend. Vail gets a little flirty, in front of Peter. Kristen tells Lisa that she’s learned a lot. She learned not to be a liar or screw over he friends. Seriously!?! Lisa tells her not to start trouble, but Kristen says that there wouldn’t be trouble if Tom weren’t a liar. Umm, there wouldn’t be trouble if Kristen would mind her own business Lisa notes that she’s way too busy trying to sabotage Tom’s relationship, but Kristen doesn’t see it that way. Lisa says what I’ve been thinking all along, if Kristen were really happy then she wouldn’t care what her ex was doing.
The whole party is uncomfortable. Everyone has a disagreement with someone. Stassi tells Lisa that she wanted her conversation with Katie to go well, but it didn’t. I don’t think she really wanted it to go well, she wanted Katie to apologize and admit that it was all her fault when it wasn’t. Jax walks in and Stassi bolts. They broke up way too long ago for his presence to still cause that much of a reaction. She can’t function in the same room as Jax, even if he doesn’t try to talk to her. She needs to grow up. Of course, Kristina takes her side and tells her that she’s right. Everyone else is glad to see her go.
Tom, Other Tom, and Jax go outside to talk. Tom needs Jax to know that he won’t take anymore backstabbing. Jax denies telling Kristen that he knows Tom slept with the girl in Miami. Kristen decides that she needs to “check on” the boys’ conversation. Tom asks her what Jax says and Kristen tells him that Jax knew that Tom slept with the girl. Jax immediately back-pedals, saying that he was told that Tom slept with the girl. Jax tries to point out that Kristen hasn’t been honest in the past, but that doesn’t go over well since he’s a consistent liar. Jax then says that it doesn’t matter what he said, no one will ever like Kristen. Tom notes that Jax is deflecting. He tells Kristen to be happy with her life and stay out of his. Kristen decides that she’s done and that Ariana wins. It wasn’t a competition, but I’m glad to see Kristen walk away. Things are done with Jax though. Tom doesn’t know if he can continue to be friends with Jax.
Of course, Kristen can’t leave without talking to Ariana. She tells Ariana, in front of Lisa and Katie, that she’s done talking to her and good luck. It’s the oddest thing and seemed to come from nowhere. Tom explains that Jax hasn’t changed and that Kristen hasn’t changed. He’s sorry that Ariana has had to deal with his ex. He then asks Ariana to move in with him and she says yes. Awww! Katie and Lisa leave the lovebirds alone. Katie goes to find Other Tom. He tells her that therapy has helped and that they are doing well now. Katie asks him if she is the one he wants to be with. He says yes, but that isn’t good enough for her. They have an apartment and a dog, but Katie wants a ring. Other Tom tells her that he needs a little more time, but it’s hard for Katie to be patient. She gives Other Tom an ultimatum. He has six months to figure it out because she doesn’t want to waste any more time. It’s clear that Other Tom loves Katie and doesn’t want to lose her, but he really isn’t ready for marriage.
We get some final thoughts on the season. Scheana is surprised they all survived. Kristen is tired of the hate and is moving on with James. Jax’s truck got towed. Lisa is glad that the group is still bonded, even though they fight. Next week is Part I of the reunion.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
“Amster-Damn!” – S5E16
Remember Last Week…
We had a fun scavenger hunt through the streets of Beverly Hills and the women were required to drink a milkshake – Oh, the horror of it all! We learned Lisa V is a big, fat cheater and that Lisa R can flip a double bird about how much she hates the scavenger hunt quite effortlessly. David Foster had a wonderful fundraising event in Calgary – and we learned that while Kyle won’t share a straw with Brandi – She will share her lips with Steven Tyler when he performed onstage. We also saw the women turn into human dominoes on an airport escalator with Kim as the first domino to topple over. Kim doesn’t want Lisa R to discuss her sobriety anymore and she told Lisa R to “Drop it” while flying in David Foster’s private jet to Calgary.
The women arrived at their chandelier-laden hotel and are assigned their rooms. Kyle loved her room and remarked about the romantic red roses and champagne that were waiting for her. But she got a tad bit mentascental because she’s all by herself and can’t enjoy it with her hubster. Later, when Eileen and Lisa V arrive – There is no one happier to see them on the entire earth than Lisa R. Lisa R says seeing them is like, “Seeing a lifeboat in a very stormy ocean.”
Lisa R quickly clues in Eileen (That Tramp I Now Love) and Lisa V about the turbulent conversation she had with Kim on the private jet flight to Calgary. She tells them how Kim ignored and snubbed her when she arrived for the flight. Then when in flight, Kim angrily confronted Lisa R about talking about Kim behind her back. Kim basically told Lisa R that her sobriety was none of her business. Eileen wonders why it needs to get mean and vicious – And Lisa R explains that it’s because Kim is being defensive because she’s an addict and that this, “is classic textbook addict behavior.” Eileen doesn’t understand why this bad behavior is always excused somehow. Lisa R warns Eileen that Kim is going to come right at her. “I don’t know what the fuck to expect” says Lisa R about Kim. Lisa R says Kim is in a weird place so for Eileen’s sake – She’d better watch out. Eileen says she’s not afraid of Kim. Lisa R says she will be civil and will be kind…
Since there were no tiny rooms in the attic that Lisa can be banished to, Lisa V seems to have gotten a “nice room” according to Eileen. I doubt Lisa V will ever settle on her accommodations on one of these Bravo trips again after last season.
Everyone is up the next morning and evidently they all got the memo to wear black. Hmmm… They seem to be waiting for someone… Now, who could that be? Who could that be? Oh yes, Kim of course! You’ll be happy to know, however, that Lisa V seems to be wearing her “Pink Pussy Blouse.” (It’s her name for it – not mine…lol). Yolanda clues in everyone that in Holland bicycles rule – And they have the right-of-way – So watch out!
They go to a restaurant named “Werck” – No, not “Wreck” although I admit I checked their website to ensure it’s still standing after the “Real Housewives” got done with their meal (http://www.werck.nl/nl/home) I decided to plug it since I really feel sorry for the proprietors. They start talking about the infamous “Red Light District” and Lisa R asks Yo if prostitution is something that people aspire to do… She’s met with a lot of “No, of course not” pooh poohing from around the table… Yolanda says, “Listen, if I was dead broke and I had to feed my three children – I would do anything… Even that.” Lisa V just doesn’t understand the rationale for prostitution and her TH she says, “I don’t think you need a dick in your mouth to put food in their mouths… I’m sorry, I’m just saying….” Okay, I’ve got to admit that if Brandi had said that same thing I probably would be all over her case right now. But tonight, there are bigger fish to fry.
Okay, before we launch into this next segment – I did my best to capture it as it transpired. I may have missed a comment here or there – but it was difficult because they were talking over each other and also because I just couldn’t believe my ears. I will try to put my own comments (sometimes snarky – sometimes not) [in brackets] so it’s clear what was said by them and what I say…lol.
Yolanda wanted to start the trip by providing the opportunity for the women to share something that would connect them all on a deeper level. She wanted to go around the table – and like any good facilitator, she started with herself to break the ice.
Yolanda brought up how she was with Kyle’s family on the yacht vacationing in the South of Spain when she received the call about her daughter, Bella, being arrested on a DUI charge. Yolanda shares how the thought of what could have happened to Bella really shook her to her core. Yolanda says in Beverly Hills they all try to pretend their lives are so perfect and that they try to hide their imperfections from each other. She tells everyone that her life is not perfect. Yolanda wishes that they would show each other the core of who they are as a human being. [I gotta say, I really love this part…]
Lisa V says that as a Mother – You can’t control their choices. [Lisa V knows what it’s like to have children who don’t make perfect choices all the time.] Lisa R starts to cry and she’s asked about where the emotion came from. Lisa R shares that when she was 6 that she lost her 21-year-old sister to a Seconal and an alcohol overdose and that she never really processed through it.
In her TH Lisa R says, “So I have really deep-rooted issues about people dying from alcohol and drug overdoses. It’s in my DNA – It’s in my blood.” She tells the women that she’s terrified of the potential that her own children and everyone could suffer the same fate. Lisa R looks directly at Kim and says, “So if I ever come across too strong about anything – I definitely have a fear of it – and an Achilles’ heel… And I’m sorry, if I’ve ever, you know, gotten into your business, I never meant to…but I only wanted to…”
[And this is where Kim starts flipping her fig.] Kim interrupts Lisa R and bluntly says, “Well, you have…” Everyone’s mouth pops open and just stares at Kim… Lisa R calmly clarifies, “Gotten into your business?” Kim confirms, “Yes, you have – And we’ve discussed that…” Lisa R tries to explain, “I only meant to help.” Kim then launches, “Lisa, I have been sober for 3 years. And in 3 years, my friends (she points around the table) right here and my family have not ever seen me like that in 3 years. [Ummm… Except that they must have – Because in an earlier episode Brandi sniped to Lisa R about how ridiculous it was to think that Kyle wasn’t aware of the gravity of Kim’s problem.]
Lisa R says, “But I saw you like that.” Kim says, “I said that night that I had taken something for pain – And obviously it didn’t work for me,” and Lisa R opens her mouth to start to say something, and Kim says, “Let me finish… And I said that – It didn’t react to me… and the next day I ended up in the hospital for a week.” [Oh, is that this episode’s version of how long you stayed in the hospital? Cuz you know, we’ve heard you stayed 5 days, 7 days and 9 days. Pick a lie and stick to it, Kim – You would sound more believable.]
Kim continues, “If any of my friends right here had seen that more than once in 3 years – My friends – My sister – Would have come to me and they would have been concerned. You have gone around to everybody and talked to them asking…” Lisa R says, “How do you know I’ve gone around to everybody?”
Kim points her finger at Eileen and says, “And you, too” and Eileen says, “Don’t point your finger at me, Kim.” Kim continues, “And you, too, asking where I’ve gone to treatment… Do I have a sponsor…” Lisa R chimes in, “We’ve asked you… We asked YOU. I asked you if you were in meetings…” Kim says, “You asked me if I was okay… And I said that I am fine.” Lisa R says, “I asked you if you were in meetings.” Kim says that she told Lisa R on the plane that she is fine. Lisa R says, “Kim, we care about you.” Kim flips the script and says, “I’m concerned about you. First of all…” Kyle interrupts and says, “This is supposed to be nice – Yolanda started this out to be a nice conversation …” But Kim continues, “First of all, let’s talk about your situation at home – You want to bring out my stuff… Let’s talk about your homelife.” [Implying something sinister is going on at Lisa R’s home – It felt like she was implying that Harry was cheating – but who knows?]
Eileen says, “Kim…” Kim snottily and dismissively says, “Excuse me… I’m not talking to you.” Eileen says, “Well, I’m talking to you. Shame on you…” Kim’s voice escalates, “I’m not talking to you.” Eileen matches her tone and volume and says, “Shame on YOU!” Kim’s finger is about 4 inches from Eileen’s mouth.
Kim inexplicably says, “Shut your fucking mouth I’ve had enough of you – You beast.” Eileen recoils, “Beast? How dare you!.” Kim says, “How dare me?” Eileen says, “You came into my home.” Kim says, “And I apologized.” Eileen corrects her, “No, actually you didn’t. Actually you didn’t.” Kim says, “I don’t like you.” Eileen says, “Guess what, I don’t particularly like you, either.” “Good,” says Kim. Eileen continues, “I can’t find one damn thing I like about you right now at the moment.” Kim says, “Well good, I’ve never found one thing to like about you – Your hair, your face, your attitude.” Kyle tries to hush up Kim… In her TH Eileen says, “I don’t know where this hatred is coming from – It’s pure evil.”
Kyle asks Kim, “What is wrong with you?” Kim says to Kyle, “Kyle, shush up – You should have said right from the beginning – In 3 years that I’ve been OK… And you were hiding like this (Kim mocks Kyle as she puts a napkin in front of her face and hides).” Kyle says, “Why do you act like this, Kim? You want me to defend you even though you’re acting like that.” Kyle says, “I’m not… Just because I’m your sister…” Kim interrupts, “I’ve never needed you to defend me because you never have.” [Ummm Kim… Two seconds ago you berated Kyle for not defending you – So if it’s true you don’t need her to defend you – Why would you say this?] Kyle says, “Kim, yes, I have.” Lisa V dares to enter the fray and says, “Kim, she does defend you – a thousand percent.” Kim says as she points at Brandi, “She defends me more than you do.” [Oh man – Kim knows exactly where Kyle’s vulnerabilities are and then just punches that button, doesn’t she?] Kim continues, “Kathy would not ever act like this. Kathy would have my back like a REAL sister. You have been doing this to me for years.” [OMG – So this means Kyle isn’t a “real” sister? Well, where is Kathy now? Where has Kathy ever been? This is another point of vulnerability for Kyle because she has expressed previously how she felt like the outcast sister when they were growing up.]
Lisa R says, “It is not okay to talk to your sister or anyone like that.” Kim says to Lisa R, “You don’t understand – You don’t understand the relationship I have with my sister.” Lisa R says, “No, I don’t – But it’s not okay to talk to anyone like that, Kim – It’s just not okay – Your behavior is not okay.” Kim says, “Really?” Lisa R says, “Yeah, it’s not okay.”
Kim unabashedly says, “Well, why don’t you have a piece of bread and maybe you’ll calm down a little.” [OMG – Did she just imply Lisa R has an eating disorder? Or maybe she’s just jelly because she’s skinny… Speaking of jelly – Where’d the peanut butter go… but I digress…]
Eileen says, “Shame on you – You’re disgusting, Kim.” Kyle just holds her forehead in her hand and says, “Please.” Yolanda tries to interject… “Can I interfere one second? (Looking and pointing at Kim) I understand your sensitivity because you’ve worked really hard for 3 years. (Pointing at Lisa R) When I talked to her she said, ‘Yolanda, I’ve lost 2 brother-in-laws… My husband has only been sober for 3 years’”…” Kim interrupts, “Let’s talk about the husband”…
Lisa R says, “Excuse me… Did you just say, ‘Let’s talk about the husband?’” Kim threatens, “Let’s talk about what you don’t want out.” Kim coyly shrugs her shoulders. Lisa R says, “You know what… Let me tell you something…” Eileen says, “You’re a scary, vicious human being.” Lisa R says, “Don’t touch my husband ever…”
Kim says, “I’m just saying…” Lisa R stands up and points her finger at Kim and almost goes for her jugular and threatens, “Don’t you ever touch my husband.” Kim stands up even though Brandi’s arm goes out to try to keep her back… Kim keeps repeating, “Just saying… Just saying… What you don’t want out for everybody to know – You’d better watch what you talk about me or everybody will know.” [There is a serious ominous threat here…]
Lisa R stands again, “Never go near my husband.” Lisa R takes whatever was in her wine glass and tosses it at Kim… And then takes the glass and slams it on the table with chards of glass flying everywhere. Kim just keeps saying, “Everyone will know… Everyone will know what you don’t want…” Kyle literally runs for her life and out of the restaurant. [Okay, right about now I wasn’t sure if I just saw an episode of, “The Days of Our Lives” or what… But it was really wonky and melodramatic. It felt like they were trying to “out drama” each other or something – And yet, these issues are very serious and not something you’d want to joke about for a TV show. And may I say this… It is NEVER okay to purposefully break a glass like that… It was just so wrong. The anger was understandable – but the glass breaking was not. I don’t care what soap opera scene we’re acting out at the moment. Lisa R needs to apologize to everyone at the table for doing so… Chards of glass going into people’s eyes are a “Clear and Present Danger” for this group (Shout out to Harrison Ford.)]
Yolanda ushers Lisa R out the door, and Lisa R is yelling back at Kim behind her saying, “Don’t you fucking ever go near my husband ever.” In the understatement of the year, in Lisa R’s talking head she says, “I fucking lost my fucking marbles. What the fuck does Kim Richards know? What does she know about Harry? What did he do? She doesn’t even know my husband.” Kyle is crying in Eileen’s arms…
Lisa V tells Kim, “It’s gone too far.” Kim throws her napkin down and says, “Well, she can’t lie about me – Or I’ll tell something that IS true.” Lisa V says, “Kim, stop it – Stop it now.”
Lisa R is crying into Yo’s shoulder and Eileen joins them as Lisa R is sobbing and saying she’s sorry. Kyle comes back in the restaurant only to retrieve her purse from the table and goes back out the door and Kim says, “Go out to your new friend, Kyle.” Kyle sobs and screams, “Oh Kim, Stop! How can I defend your behavior when you act like this?”
Kim screams, “She lies about me and all I said was that I was going to tell the truth about her fucking life.” Kyle says, “You want me to defend you – But your behavior is indefensible.”
I think it’s Lisa R that says, “How can someone be such a mean person?” – But my closed captioning says it was Kim who said it – But the voice didn’t match up to me…
Brandi, who has been silent for most of this whole thing says some rambling nonsensical things – And then complains she has glass on her fucking skin. [Get ready for a lawsuit, Lisa R – Or at least a letter…] Kim complains to Brandi that she thought Lisa R was going to choke her. [I thought she was going to choke her to death, too… But then again, it would probably be classified as “justifiable homicide” – We’re all witnesses. I’m picking out my ensemble for my day in court even as we speak. Is it permissible to wear Jimmy Choo’s while carrying a Louis Vuitton® Handbag?]
Kyle joins Eileen, Lisa V, Lisa R and Yolanda who are all very distraught.
Yolanda goes back into the restaurant when everyone decides to go back to the hotel. Yolanda tries to tell Kim that was not the way to communicate. Yolanda starts wiping up the shattered glass on the table. [I think Yolanda’s embarrassed about how her American friends have acted in her homeland. I’m embarrassed, too.] Kim seems to feel completely vindicated in how she handled things. Yolanda tries to tell her that it’s not okay to go after someone’s husband or family. Kim seems to feel that when Lisa R goes after Kim and her sobriety – That she’s in essence going after her children because her children have been through hell with her drinking. [Umm… Yeah… Cuz it IS hell to live with an alcoholic.]
Kim thinks that if her children ever thought that she was drinking or using that they would walk away from her in a heartbeat. [Oh… So THIS is why Kim is adamant that she’s remained sober – And here I thought there might be a “Code of Conduct” clause in her contract that withdraws payment if she doesn’t remain sober.] Kim says that Lisa R is spreading the rumor that she’s not sober and that it affects her children. [All of Kim’s children are grown and out the door, no? It’s not like Brandi who has young kids still at home.] Kim says she’s fine and that it’s okay to hurt Kim – “If you fuck with my kids – I will fuck with you.” [Okay Kim – You’re a badass – We get it. But honestly, I do kind of understand that mentality – Don’t ever mess with someone’s kids. But truly, no one IS messing with Kim’s grown kids – This is all about Kim and her so-called sobriety. Gosh, I wonder who Kim has been talking to… Lemme think… Who else continually tries to act like a badass on this show? Lol…]
Kim said she’s not going to let one person go around and put doubt in people’s minds about her sobriety. [No, we’ve got footage that does that, tyvm.] Yolanda tells Kim that she needs to stand up for herself – That she needs to take her power – And she loves what she’s saying but that she doesn’t like how she’s saying it. [Remember – Yolanda wasn’t at PokerGate 2015®™© to see Kim’s non-sobriety in action…And I’m not sure what Yolanda thinks she just witnessed – but it sure wasn’t the same scene as I just watched.] Brandi says, “These women just don’t know how to drop something when you ask them to drop it.”
Lisa R, Lisa V, Eileen, Kyle are in Kyle’s hotel room. Eileen tells Kyle that it’s hard to watch Kyle get treated so badly by Kim. Eileen says she understands it when people say certain things are not your business – But that when you actually witness it yourself – It becomes your business. Eileen says in her talking head that no matter what kind of relationship you have with a family member – When you treat them like that in front of other people, “It’s just gross.”
Yolanda, Brandi and Kim are walking down the hallway in their hotel. Brandi continues to complain about how she’s getting chards of glass out of her hair, her ears and she’s thinking what just happened? Kim chimes in that she has glass in her pants. [And yet, they all inexplicably go to Yolanda’s room without first taking a shower. If I had glass in my hair or pants – And I was afraid of being cut – You KNOW I’d be taking a shower before doing anything else.]
Kim, Yolanda and Brandi are in a room talking. After Yolanda talks about how sisters will be there for each other at the end of the road… Kim says that after tonight she thinks she needs a break. [And what did Kyle do to you tonight, Kim? Not defend you? You’re so clueless.]
Yolanda is wondering how they can carry on with the rest of the week. Brandi advises her that since it’s her country and she’s the hostess that she should tell the others to be on their best behavior or don’t come – That’s it. [Okay, I find this to be completely hilarious since Brandi found it so offensive that Ken told her to be on her best behavior for his wife’s surprise birthday party. I think she’s trying to put karma into play…lol]
Meanwhile, Lisa R is telling Kyle that Kim is abusive to her – That she is actively being abused by Kim, and that when you’re in an abusive relationship that you walk away from it. Eileen is crying and saying it’s so cruel and that it’s bizarre. Lisa V says that it’s so weird they (Brandi and Kim) found each other. Everyone agrees. Eileen in her TH says, “Kim and Brandi are both very mean people. They have no problem going places where other people just would not go. They seem very comfortable with crossing a line.” [Oh, I think Brandi LIVES to cross lines and takes great pride in doing so.]
Lisa R, Lisa V, Kyle and Eileen discuss how to move forward. Lisa R says that she doesn’t want to talk anything out with Kim. She further says that she loves and respects Kyle – but that she doesn’t want to ever talk to Kim again.
The next day Lisa R tells us that she’s in a “Post traumatic mode” and that she’s not all here – she just half here. There is a knock on her door and it’s Kim. She asks Lisa if she has a minute to talk. Lisa can’t imagine what Kim has to say to her – And she can’t even process the fact that Kim is right in front of her.
Kim’s already talking condescendingly to Lisa, “You having concern for me is fine” Kim starts out saying. She then says that if Lisa R had come to her directly and that she thought they had handled this situation on the plane… Kim says that Lisa brought it up in front of 7 people last night… After they had agreed that Lisa R wasn’t going to, “and it completely infurryated me.” [Holla at ya, Gretchen from RHOC!] Lisa says she saw that it did infuriate Kim. [We all saw that it did.] Kim says that her sobriety is the most important thing in her life – And that’s where her children get hurt. Lisa R says that it’s not her intention to hurt Kim’s children. Kim explains that what people said about her affected her children all those years ago because people said a lot of stuff that wasn’t true. Kim says that she would fucking kill for her children. [Like most mothers would.]
Lisa R tells Kim that she really pissed her off and the comments really hit below the belt. Kim tells us in her TH that she was up most of the night because she was upset about what had happened. She saw herself at her ugliest. Kim says, “It bothered me to see where I allowed this person to take me.”
Lisa R tells her that she protected herself as Kim did last night – Lisa R clarified that she wasn’t talking about it behind Kim’s back and that she’s come at it with only good intentions. Lisa said she thought Kim was starting to open up when they had talked in Eileen’s kitchen but that she really didn’t know how to handle the situation.
In Lisa’s TH she said, “She told me in full terms to back off…. And she had to go to a place that was so nasty in order to back me off. Well, in the midst of it – I could have killed her – But, I’m backed off now… And let’s let her best friend Brandi help her now.” Lisa R apologizes and says, “I’m sorry I didn’t come to you. I really was coming from a good place.” Kim just wants to put it all aside and remind Lisa R that she is good. Kim tells us that she can forgive Lisa because she wants peace in her life. [Forgive Lisa R for what? Being concerned about her sobriety?]
Everyone else arrives in the hotel lobby and they’re told that Kim went up to talk to Lisa R. Eileen says that she hopes that Kim is apologizing to Lisa and that she will then apologize to Kyle and she next. [Silly Eileen.]
They get on a tour bus to travel to the little town of Papendrecht – Which is where Yolanda was born and raised. Yolanda has a glow on her face being in her home country and showing the girls around. She points out the building where she was born. Her experiences have made Yolanda who she is today.
They go to rent bicycles. Lisa R gets on her bicycle that was far too big for her and says in her TH, “The last time I road something that big was Harry, last week… No…” lol… Yolanda shows them the windmills… and they were incredulous that people actually live underneath them.
Brandi complains the bikeriding is hurting her pussycat… [Of course she does.]
They meet a guy who lives in a windmill. Evidently, Yolanda dated him once upon a time and even kissed him – Although Yolanda conveniently doesn’t remember any of this. Lisa V tells us that, “She was clearly riding a lot of things and it wasn’t just bikes in Holland.”
Lisa R was in a commercial about the new movie, “Cinderella.” It was a great commercial up until Lisa R mockingly broke a glass slipper against the wall – Mimicking her own breaking of a wine glass scene many of us just saw for the first time only moments ago. It was jarring to me – Perhaps I’ll laff about it next week… But it’s a tad too soon right now as far as I’m concerned. I love how Lisa R can easily laff things off and pokes fun at herself… But truly, in this case it just hit me wrong – but maybe it’s just me.
As the women bike down what appears to be REAL cobblestone streets they’re getting jiggled around a bit. Lisa says, “Oh my god, this is serious sexual stimulation.” Yolanda tells them that this is one of the oldest streets in town and that the jiggling is good for their butts. [Surprisingly, Kim doesn’t hop off her bike and say that she can’t do it because it’s hurting her fractured rib, ruptured disc, or hiatal hernia. Color me shocked.]
They go to Yolanda’s “Mammie’s” house… and Yolanda’s brother “Leo” is there, too. It’s her favorite cake… Yolanda shows her Mom pictures of Gigi in a Chanel ad… Yolanda explains to the girls that even though it was legal there – that they never did drugs. The girls are going to go to the “Pot Coffee Shop.” Yolanda’s Mom confesses that she did eat the “space cake” once but that she didn’t feel anything. Lisa R is thankful she didn’t let last night ruin her chance to see Amsterdam with the group.
The group reconvenes to go to the pot shop. Kyle seems confused that Kim isn’t going with them to the pot shop. [Really, Kyle?] The reach the shop and inexplicably Leo lifts Lisa V into his arms and carries her through the threshold. I’m not sure why he did it – but it was amusing.
Everyone is sitting around the table looking at the menu and deciding if they’re going to try something or not. [I’m surprised to see Brandi here because she had said in a previous episode she would stay with Kim during the times she needed to separate from the group for her own sobriety’s sake.]
Eileen has children so initially she says she’s not going to do it. Yolanda says she’s not [I’m guessing for her own challenging health reasons.] Brandi doesn’t want to be high when she’s around these women because she feels she has to be “game on.” Brandi thinks it’s exhausting seeing these women pretend to be something they’re not. Brandi asks, “Is everyone here pretending they haven’t smoked pot in their lives?” Lisa V and Yolanda say they have… And then Brandi says to Kyle, “The last time I smoked pot it was with you – So let’s not pretend we’re angels.”
Kyle tells Brandi that she didn’t want to say anything because of her kids. Brandi tells her that if she doesn’t want to say it – Then she shouldn’t do it. Kyle tells her that she’s not going to do it – That it’s a parenting choice. Brandi doesn’t seem to understand it.
Lisa V says that she lived in London in the 80s and that she’s seen it all. However, she’s not DONE it all – But she has had a whiff occasionally. She eats a portion of the “space cake” that was just served to them. Eileen also decides to try some “space cake” because as she explained to us in her TH – She’s weak and she succumbed to peer pressure. Lisa R and Yolanda also partake. Lisa R says in her TH that she has 2 children and they both know that she NEVER passes up on a piece of cake. EVER. Kyle thinks that she’s starting to feel high from the 2nd hand smoke but everyone told her she was being ridiculous. As they leave, Lisa V sarcastically says they must be the best customers they’ve ever had – one piece of cake between the 5 of them.
As they’re walking away from the shop, Lisa V tells Brandi that she can’t say things like that. Brandi bemoans the fact that she thinks that anyone and everyone can say “Whatever the fuck they want about me but I can’t say the truth about them.” Kyle asks if they’re talking about her… Brandi says, “Yeah, you guys can all have a fucking opinion about me and you can say whatever the fuck you want but God forbid I tell the truth about you then the world is ending because you’re a great parent. Well how the fuck do you think it makes me feel when you’re all talking shit about me?”
[I think Brandi started this whole thing because after the previous night she recognized that she was irrelevant and had to do something to get to be the center of attention. It is difficult to separate out when some of these people are being overly dramatic to create what they see as compelling TV… or when they are realistic reactions to situations. Tonight all felt very soap opera-esque to me. I’m not a fan of tonight at all. It nauseated me just watching it. I’m sending Bravo the bill for the tums and Pepto-Bismal.]
Kyle says she’s never said Brandi’s a bad parent. It seems like Brandi feels that they do when they talk about Brandi having a drinking problem – and that assertion hurts her kids. Brandi then calls them all, “The biggest hypocrites of all fucking time.” Brandi just can’t take it anymore and she thinks there are different rules for different people. She says, “God forbid I say the truth and it’s below the belt. It’s fucking hypocritical.” Kyle then tries to talk to Brandi which goes oh, so well and goes nowhere fast except that Brandi tells Kyle not to touch her… Kyle tells us that the things they say about Brandi are things that she’s done. The things Brandi says about the rest of them are designed to hurt people. Brandi ends up walking behind the pack by herself. Kyle thinks Brandi can’t have a peaceful night.
The women go shopping and sightseeing… Yolanda tells Kyle that God has given all of us a certain job in life – but Kyle tells her that she doesn’t want that fucking job… Eileen thinks that Kim’s behavior was heinous and to say now that they’re all going to just move on is “a fucking bunch of BS.” Kim wants people to focus on their own family. Eileen tells her, “Sue me for actually giving a damn.” Brandi calls Eileen a homewrecker. Fun times ahead.
Well, that’s it for this week… We got through it… Yay! Thanks for reading… I gotta give a shout-out to the best husband in the world who baked me cookies just because he knew I had a long night of tough blogging ahead of me…Have a most excellent week… Happy Trails!