The Many Personalities of Brandi Glanville by Veena
I just got back from the grocery store, and it was great mixing business with pleasure. As I stocked up on food, I browsed the tabloids, thinking about stories to fill the blog for the upcoming week. I wish I could have taken all of you there with me, because I really had an exciting adventure.
But here we are again. It’s time to think about a chat blog for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and what I thought I’d blog about this week are the many personalities of Brandi Glanville.
The first is the cool, self-confident gangster chick that can handle difficult situations with ease. This is the chick who was badass enough to slash her cheating husband’s tires, and can go on live TV and talk about another woman’s pussy being smelly without flinching. Luv her! Too bad about that lawsuit. Oopsy. And we could probably do without all the whining about how everyone jumps on her about being mean when she’s making shocking statements jokes. You’re only badass if you don’t start whining the moment people pile on you.
Then there’s the business Brandi. This is the Brandi who became an Oscar special correspondent, and used that experience to market her brand new dress line. That was the brilliant Brandi – aside from the wardrobe malfunction that doomed her dress line forever. But hey – it was the thought that counts. Luv her.
Then there’s the best seller Brandi – two best sellers – “Drinking and Tweeting” and “Drinking and Dating,” I luv luv luv that she’s such an amazing writer – not just of her books, but also her tweets. She’s so real and relatable. It’s kind of a bummer that she’s turned her blogs and twitter feed over to a no-talent blog writer (allegedly). It kind of defeats the purpose of building a brand around being a writer on social media – but whatevs. Luv her!
Drinking Brandi is still one of her major personalities. I mean it has to be – she’s got a three book deal and a whine line coming out – oops (giggle) I meant wine. Was that a Freudian slip? It’s too bad everyone (who doesn’t?) calls her a mean drunk – ‘cause that’s not so great for the branding. I mean – she’s a single mother raising two dogs on her own –oh, and also has joint custody of her two kids. So don’t call her a mean drunk. She’s just the truth cannon – she just makes up her own truth – because she’s usually too drunk to remember reality. But hey, there’s no shame in her game. She’s shown her tampon string in public and owns it.
Finally there’s the girls girl – good friend Brandi. You couldn’t ask for a better friend – as long as you are good looking enough to be seen with her. Just make sure you stay on her team , and back her up even when she does something mean and stupid, because otherwise she’ll spill all the secrets in your closet – especially if you have furs back there – and if she doesn’t have any secrets on you, she’ll just make something up. Gotta luv a girl’s girl.
So that’s a snapshot of the many personalities of Brandi – the badass gangster / whiner, the business woman/can’t launch a business for the life of her, the NY Times best seller/ doesn’t write her own blogs, the party girl drinker/mean drunk, and the girl’s girl / backstabber.
I want to assure everyone that I’m writing my own blog. If the style seems a little different, it’s just because I’ve found a great new app to help me with spelling and grammar. I haven’t hired a ghost writer. Nope. Not me. And I don’t have my fingers crossed either.