Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
“The Party’s Over” – S5E19 – Finale!
OMG… You’ll never believe what happens during the finale! Kyle gets up on the bar and does a round-off back-handspring into the splits while holding a glass of wine… Yolanda does a risqué belly dance for everyone… Kim and Lisa R launch into a choreographed hip hop gangsta rap… Eileen twirls around three times and sings, “The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Music”… and Lisa V and Brandi sing a duet of, “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore.” Everyone decided there was so much love in the room that they decided to let bygones be bygones and everyone took ownership of their words and actions from all season long… There were apologies when necessary and forgiveness when appropriate… They all hugged it out… Sang a rousing chorus of “Kumbayah” and there was peace throughout the land…Wait… no? Oh, I must have dreamed all that… Here’s what really happened…lol…
Interesting Things that Happened Before the Main Event
The episode opened with Kim and Kyle the morning after their tumultuous discussion at Kyle’s Palm Springs house. As Kyle makes breakfast, in a weird voice Kim makes some stupid comment like, “Look at you – The baby makes the food.” I guess when they were growing up they used to call Kyle – “The baby” because she was the youngest. (Birthdates: Kathy – March 13, 1959; Kim – September 19, 1964; and, Kyle – January 11, 1969). It seemed like a catty comment to make but I think she’s so jealous of Kyle she can’t even see straight.
Kim then tells us that she thinks Kyle, “She needs to treat me like a healthy, older alder sister and that I DO know how to take care of my life.” Oh Kimmie… If only that were half-way true! Quick everyone… click your heels 3 times… Clap your hands 3 times… Close your eyes, cross your fingers, and say, “I believe…I believe… I believe!” Opens eyes… Looks around… Sighs… Dang… Nope… Same old Kim… Dagnabit.
The rest of what happened in Palm Springs is irrelevant – But Kyle did make the astounding statement that their mom told them to never air their dirty laundry in public or to talk about their issues with anyone else except the family. Gosh, I’m sure she would be SOOOOOOOOO pleased you’re both on a reality show designed to do just that… lol.
Another “filler” scene is Nicky Hilton’s 365 Style book signing at Kyle’s store. Kim and Kyle have a conversation about it and they’re going to make sure all the cousins are there to show their support. I’m sure Kathy wouldn’t like absentee cousins and they would quickly hear about it…lol. Kim and Kyle talk about some of the other housewives that will show up. Kim makes a point to say that Brandi won’t be there because she’s out of town – but that she wouldn’t bring her anyway. Right… Cuz it you only want to screw up Kyle’s parties – Not Nicky’s. Nope – You’d have to answer to Kathy for that one…lol…
Kyle says that fashion-wise Nicky, “I mean Nicky is always on fleek.” (For those not in “the know” – According to the Urban Dictionary or “UD” – for the REALLY kewl amongst us – “on fleek” means “the quality of being perfect – Being on point …
The only other noteworthy thing we see at the book signing was that this is where we first meet Prince Mario Max whose aunt is the Danish Queen. Wait… Did one of the women lose a bet while in Amsterdam and was forced to bring him back with them? I wonder who has to feed him… but more on him, later… Ugh…
As an aside… I’m guessing Brandi was probably visiting her sick dad who just had open heart surgery and that’s part of the reason why she wasn’t at the book signing… Brandi had to be back the following day to attend and be part of the finale. I’ve read various things about how the finale is mandatory – but we all know that not even filming the reunion shows is mandatory these days because many have gotten out of it throughout the years for way less reason than a dying father.
For kicks, I tried to look at Brandi’s tweets dating back to October 21 & 22 which is when it looks like the book signing and the finale took place (Shout out to VV™ for keeping track of all of that!). I was able to access her tweets back to November 1, 2014 – but I couldn’t look farther back than that… I’m sure there’s a way – I just don’t know how to do it. After all, I barely have a Twitter account… But watch out… I just might start using my dormant account…lol (@starsninetynine – for anyone who would want to help me actually start using Twitter…lol).
Okay… enough with the frivolities… On to the main event…
Brandi is getting ready on for the party sitting on the floor having her hair and makeup done. You get the feel that you’re in someone’s dorm room in college or something…Perhaps she’s there so she doesn’t have far to fall when she gets too drunk. Who knows?
Rut roh… Brandi says she’s bitchy… To quote Han Solo, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this…” Wow… If Brandi is self-aware enough to verbalize she’s bitchy… Shouldn’t someone warn the others? … No really… I’m concerned… I hope Kyle is wearing her bracelet weaponry…
So… After Mark (Brandi’s houseguest/hairstylist) asks her if she’s talked to Kyle… Brandi outlandishly says in her TH that she’s said it before and she’ll say it again, “I didn’t know <bleep> started with a ‘K’” – I knew she was obviously referring to Kyle. So I rewound and read Brandi’s loose lips – Which was actually harder than one would initially think because her face is so filled with fillers… But the word she CLEARLY said that was bleeped out was “cunt.” Wow, Brandi – So Brandi said, “I didn’t know cunt started with a ‘K.’” Wow, Brandi – It’s a good thing you invited J.R. to the finale because I’m sure he will be PLEASED that you called his boss’s wife a “C U Next Tuesday.” Yikes! Brandi tells Mark to make sure she has Xanax in her purse… I hope she’s not drinking and taking that stuff… I mean… Isn’t that really dangerous? But what do I know?
The Finale Party
Let’s set the stage… The entire reason that this party is being hosted by Adrienne (who has barely been on during this season) is because she has a product she wants to promote. It turns out that it’s called “Never Hungover.” I know this because there are signs all over and it’s written on the bare chests of the men who are serving it during the party. Oh sure, there are female angels suspended from the ceiling cherubically swinging on circle swings and frolicking around on suspended swags of cloth – I mean this IS an Adrienne Maloof event after all…
The hilarious part is that Adrienne is missing from her own party – No one can find her. I’m sure she’s going to make a grand entrance of some sort, no?
After Camille (whose dress perfectly shows off her amazing 6-pack) greets Brandi like she’s some long lost friend – She asks Brandi how her dad is doing. Evidently, at this point he’s in the hospital recovering from open heart surgery. Yolanda greets Brandi and also asks about her dad. Brandi understandably doesn’t want to talk about it and gets panicked and upset whenever the subject is brought up. Brandi seems grateful that her friend Yolanda has routinely called her to find out about his status. Nothing has changed since earlier in the day when Yolanda talked with her. Yolanda was just trying to be a good Bravo employee and fill in the viewer as to what was happening… It’s got to be horrifically difficult on Brandi to be at this mandatory party.
Okay, before anyone goes batcrapcrazy on me about how Brandi didn’t HAVE to show up to this finale and that she should have stayed at her father’s side – I will say that you’re probably right. Bravo would probably have given her a pass to be at the side of her dying father. I will also say that Brandi’s dad also probably encouraged her to leave because he probably thought he would be “fine” and that Brandi should do what she was under contract to do – Since he had his wife there by his side.
The truth is that people often do not want more than 1 or 2 loved ones hanging around when they’re really, really sick. And there are people who can do hospitals well (they hang out, are completely self-entertained, act as an advocate for the sick person, and have a calming influence over the infirmed)… And those who do not – (They wear worry on their face, jump at every little thing, exhaust the person they’re trying to cheer up, and bring stress with their every visit). I don’t know which of these Brandi is – but we do know that she and her dad have been having issues recently.
When someone close to you is really not doing well – and is close to dying… Often you really lose the capacity to be nice to anyone about anything. I think it’s because every “nice” cell in your body is already being spent on just coping with the reality of the horrible situation you’re in and you just lose the capacity to be nice. Being able to handle superficial pleasantries is nonexistent. Since Brandi didn’t have many “nice” cells to begin with – This will likely be especially problematic for her tonight.
Lisa V goes over to Brandi to greet her. Lisa V tells Brandi that she got her email. Brandi tells Lisa V that she doesn’t care about this conversation. Brandi is already crying… Through tear-filled eyes she tells Lisa V that she’s apologized to her… She’s told her that she loves her… But that Lisa V has not reached out to Brandi even though her dad is dying in the hospital. Evidently, no one has reached out to Brandi except for Yolanda.
Brandi outright accuses Lisa V of not caring that her dad is dying. Lisa V of course says that she DOES care and she’s sorry she’s dying. The thing is, Brandi chose to take Yolanda on that trip to meet her parents, remember? Lisa has only met Brandi’s dad briefly – So while she can be sad and concerned for Brandi and her father – Lisa V just doesn’t have the personal connection to him that Yolanda does.
But don’t we ALL know the real issue is not that Lisa V doesn’t care about Brandi’s dad… but it’s that Lisa V doesn’t care enough about Brandi?
When Lisa V says that she’s sorry he’s dying, Brandi snottily snaps, “Are you?” Oh wow… that was low. Yikes! Then Brandi launches into a tirade about her dad, “He’s the best fucking person on the planet… Better than you… Better than Ken… Better than you and Ken put together” with her fingers in Lisa V’s face… Brandi is so emphatically yelling that her “P” when she said “put together” physically blew Lisa V’s bangs away from her face… You just had to laugh…lol… In her TH Lisa says that she doesn’t have the kind of relationship with Brandi that she’s going to pick up the phone and call her… Brandi took Lisa V’s wrists and looked like she was trying to make Lisa V hit her – So they could be even or something… I dunno… It was wonky…
Lisa V tells Brandi she didn’t accept the flowers in Amsterdam because she felt that it was hypocritical… Brandi says, “I’m an asshole – Generally – All the time… But not a hypocrite.” Lisa V said that she’s sorry for what she’s going through with her father… Lisa V doesn’t think Brandi understands the value of friendships and that you can’t just go back to normal after being slapped in the face… Lisa V again says she’s sorry for Brandi’s situation and continues to try to talk to her but Brandi turns her back on Lisa V and just slurps her wine and then just walks away. Oh, this is so not going to be pretty…
Yolanda, Lisa R and Kim all sit down at a booth together to talk. Kim is confused – but we’ve known that for a while, haven’t we? Lol… We know that while in Palm Springs, Kyle told Kim that Brandi’s been talking about Kim’s sobriety behind her back according to Lisa R. More specifically, that Brandi and Lisa R talked about an intervention for Kim. Kim wants to know if that’s true so she wants Lisa R to confirm what Brandi actually said. Arguably, the conversation sounded more like 6th graders in a cafeteria (No offense to 6th graders)… but in essence, that’s what happened.
The inherent problem in this finale dramatic moment – Is that Kim and Lisa R came to an agreement in Amsterdam to never talk about Kim’s sobriety anymore. I mean wine flew… glass shattered… and very personal threats were hurled… However, an early morning peace treaty was signed in blood between Lisa R and Kim so that everyone could coexist in Amsterdam with no more bloodshed… But there are a lot of lumpy carpets from everything being swept under them.
So what’s a person to do? Lisa R does not want any part of this conversation anymore – For good reason.
Kim wants to know what Brandi said to Lisa R during their intervention summit. Lisa R insists that they had a mature conversation and that Kim will have to ask Brandi what she said. Kim directly asks Lisa R if she used the word “intervention” when she spoke with Kyle. Lisa R straight up told Kim that she agreed with Kim that she was not going to go “there” with her anymore. Eileen joins the table and Lisa R tells Kim that it’s complicated. I’m screaming, “Just tell her the truth!!!”
Lisa R asks Kim what Kyle told her. In her TH Lisa R tells Kim to go and talk to her best friend Brandi – because Brandi has been saying, “the exact same things and even more than I’ve ever said.” Kim tells Lisa R that she’s asking what Lisa R herself said to Kyle so she can put the pieces together. Kyle and Mauricio join the table and Kim immediately turns to Kyle and asks if Brandi said Kim needed an intervention. Kyle looks at Lisa R and tries to confirm with her that’s what Lisa R told her.
The thing is – that because Lisa R won’t answer Kim’s direct questions on camera – It makes Kyle look like a liar… And she’s not. It makes Lisa R look like she’s a liar… And she’s not. It only vindicates Kim in her staunch defense that Brandi never talked about Kim needing an intervention.
Lisa R tries to explain that she and Brandi’s conversation was multi-layered. Did Brandi specifically say that Kim needed an intervention? Lisa waffles and dances around the subject. The thing is that Brandi didn’t say outright that Kim needed an intervention – But she said a whole bunch of other stuff that would easily leave you with that conclusion. Kyle tells Lisa R that she took what Lisa R told her and turned around and told Kim… But Kyle also tells us that she got Lisa R’s permission to do so.
Kim leaves the table believing that Lisa R has made something out of nothing. Kim’s belief will be shattered into more pieces than that thrown wine glass when she sees that episode we’ve all seen.
Those remaining at the table are surprised that Lisa R didn’t speak up. Lisa R tells Kyle that she doesn’t want to get into it with her sister. Kyle is baffled as to why Lisa R isn’t speaking up and backing her up on the truth of what she told Kyle. So am I. Even Eileen says, “Lisa really? You love the truth – Now is the time to tell it.”
In another area of the venue, Adrienne makes her grand entrance behind a magician’s curtain… The hilarious part is that if you weren’t in that part of the venue you totally missed it. Oh, and the part where Adrienne arrived several hours into her own party is funny to me, to… I dunno… Color me silly – but whenever I throw a party I’m the first one there and the last one to leave. Now if someone else is throwing it on my behalf – that’s a whole nuther Oprah.
Meanwhile, Lisa R still stubbornly doesn’t think she needs to confirm anything to Kim about anything. She believes it’s messed up that Kim would even doubt what Kyle said. She seems to think it’s ludicrous that Kim ran to Lisa R asking for confirmation at all. Kyle tells Lisa R that she defended Lisa R’s actions to Kim by telling her Lisa R is a good and kind person and implying that everything that was said about Kim was said from a good and caring place.
Eileen pleads Kyle’s case with Lisa R. She tries to explain that Kyle just needed Lisa R to simply back up Kyle and confirm directly to Kim what Lisa R originally told Kyle. For some reason this seems to be beyond Lisa R’s grasp.
It’s weird – because Lisa R then wonders why Kyle is so afraid of her sister. But it’s not fear – And fortunately, Eileen steps up and tells her that Kyle is not scared of her but that she just wanted Lisa R to back up what she said. She reminds Lisa R that she said the exact same thing to her about Brandi, too. Eileen says, “There’s never going to be resolution unless we tell the truth. Just own it.” Lisa R thinks this is all futile because Kim is going to believe whatever Kim is going to believe. Perhaps that’s true… but of ALL times… You pick THIS as a time to remain silent, Lisa R? So NOT kewl!
After an analogy is used about how you can’t open a door a little – That once it’s a little open – It’s opened… Lisa R knows that the last thing she wants to do is to talk to Kim about any subject relating to sobriety because it’s a lose/lose situation for her. She summons up every ounce of strength and courage she has and goes over to talk to Kim because she wants to support Kyle and Eileen… BUT not to give Kim Richards or Mick Jagger any satisfaction.
Kim and Kyle are talking together when Lisa R walks up – but Kim doesn’t want to talk to Lisa R at that moment and summarily dismisses her. Lisa R tells Kim she doesn’t like how Kim talks to her. Oh, do you mean like a condescending bitch? Yeah… She’s good at that.
Lisa R gives Brandi a heads up that she was honest with Kyle about what was they said at our lunch when they talked about Kim and her sobriety. Brandi says she wants to talk to Kim and then leave the party. Yolanda takes Brandi over to a table off to the side and then hands Brandi some ice water to drink.
In tonight’s funniest moment – Kim goes over to Brandi who immediately starts saying, “I love you… And you know that…” Kim says, “But before we go any farther – Your nipple’s hanging out.” I completely fall on the floor hyperventilating because I’m laffing so hard. Boy, if Brandi had a nickel every time she was told her nipple was hanging out – I bet she could probably buy a house by now, no?
Kim asks about Brandi’s dad… Then she tells her about her conversation with Kyle in Palm Springs. Brandi asks what Kyle said. Kim tells her that she was told that Brandi wanted “to intervene” on her – That the word intervention was used. The tape that was shown is when Lisa R and Brandi are talking about Kim. In the footage, Lisa R says, “You know what? There’s a lot of opinions – There’s a lot of things that are going on – but I do think that the pressing issue is…” Brandi interrupts and says, “Kim”… Lisa R continues… “Kim… and her health. It’s not like we can do an intervention on her…” Brandi says, “No, she’s not… Maybe you can have an intervention with all of us.”
I know they played the clip talking about the “intervention” – but remember there were several things that were said during the big Brandi and Lisa R conversation about Kim – I referred back to my own blog…lol: 1) Brandi is not going to call Kim a liar about being sober; 2) When Lisa R asks Brandi if Kyle knows her sister is in this kind of trouble – Brandi responds with, “Does anyone not?”; 3) Lisa R said that it felt like a very serious situation to her – but Brandi said that she can’t say anything to Kim about it because Kim feels safe with her; 4) Lisa R clarifies that when Brandi is with Kim they live this lie and don’t deal with it – Brandi confirms and says, “Pretty much…” 5) Lisa R said that people think they’re protecting Kim but they’re not – that something dramatic is going to happen – She then corrects herself and said, “Something did happen…” Brandi ominously responds, “More than you know…” 6) Brandi says of Kim, “If anyone were to say, ‘We’re wondering about your sobriety’ – She would die.” And, 7) Lisa remains concerned and Brandi agrees that they’re all pretending that it’s not happening.
Brandi doesn’t think she’s used the word “intervention in her life.” Really? Cuz we just saw a clip of you saying it…lol… Brandi tells Kim that she told Lisa the following – That Brandi doesn’t think Kim had the proper support system around her – That she thinks that Kim’s there for everybody and that everybody leans on Kim – And that what Kim needs is a proper therapist and actual sober friends who are not like Brandi since she’s drunk half the time.
Brandi tells Kim that she worries about Kim half the time. Kim assures Brandi that she worries about her, too… Then they get into this weird kumbayah space where they agree that friends are supposed to “worry” about each other. That it’s okay because in their world friendship means that you worry about each other. Wow…
Lisa R walks up and Kim snottily says, “Here comes trouble… right here…” Kim tells Lisa R that she just spoke to Brandi and that Brandi said she never used the word “intervention”… Kim is calling Lisa R a big, fat liar without ever actually saying it. Lisa R says that her conversation with Brandi was a good conversation from a good place. Eileen and Kyle are standing nearby and it really bugs Brandi. She tells them to, “Shoo – fly.” Okay, now THAT would piss me off.
Lisa R says in her TH that she has now backed off because she doesn’t want the wrath of Kim Richards… That she thinks Brandi is terrified of Kim Richards – And rightfully so. No one knows what Kim is going to do next… She tells Kim and Brandi that she’s learning that sometimes you just need to stay out of people’s business. Lisa R says that she was concerned. Brandi continues to try to shoo away the flies that are hovering.
Brandi decides to leave.
Bravo Finale Updates:
Yolanda: “Yolanda has suffered a relapse of her Lyme disease… but it hasn’t stopped her from being a #proudmommy as Gigi and Bella walked together in a Tom Ford fashion show.”
Lisa R: “Lisa’s recent “Hollywood hustle” included an appearance on CSI as a “trashy mother.” She’s still trying to figure out #whatdidHarrydo?”
Eileen: “In addition to her role on The Young and the Restless, Eileen has also returned to Days of Our Lives. She says two soap opera jobs are less dramatic than these ladies.”
Lisa V: “Lisa’s son, Max, has not made any more inquiries into his adoption. Lisa’s quite content being his only Mum… While she waits for Pandora to add Grandmum to her resume.”
Kim: “Kim is still caring for an ailing Monty. She says she’s sober and Brandi’s still her best friend.”
Kyle: “Kim’s dog bit Kyle’s daughter, Alexia, requiring surgery. Kyle and Kim have not spoken since the incident.” (Wait… Didn’t they film the reunion since then? Hmmm…)
Brandi: “Brandi’s father is slowly recovering from several heart surgeries. With the exception of Kim and Yolanda, the same can’t be said of her friendships.”
Brandi says in her TH, “I don’t think fitting is in something that I’ll ever want to do – You have to accept me as I am… Don’t try to change me… Don’t lecture me… When I’m wrong – Tell me I’m wrong… But don’t try to make me into a different person.” As Brandi walked off into the sunset, she was still yammering to JR about how she doesn’t understand why she always has to be the bad guy…
Other Things that Happened in this Episode…
~~There’s a cute segment about Lisa R’s family taking down their swing set. Awww… that’s such a mentascental moment – It marks that your kids are getting older and kind of putting away childish things. The entire family says goodbye to this chapter of their life with some clanking of some sparkling apple cider. I kinda love that… Family is all that matters to Lisa R… BTW… Nobody better mess with Harry… Seriously… I hear you can get “cut” for doing that…
~~Upon seeing one of Kyle’s dogs when she went to pick her up to ride with her to the finale, Lisa V says, “I’ve met bitches I don’t like – but I’ve not met a lot of dogs I don’t like.” Hi.lar.ious.
~~At one point in the evening, Camille goes over to greet Prince Mario-Max (Estella’s friend (Kyle’s mother-in-law). He kisses Camille and tells her she’s gorgeous. Camille wants more like him to come over from Europe. Stella asks Camille if she likes the match that was made for her with the Danish prince… Camille and the prince kiss a couple of times on the cheek and then they kiss on the lips and I say react with such a loud and audible “Ewww” that Mr. Stars 99 comes running from the back of the house to find out if I’m okay… lol… Then they keep kissing and I have to take a shower… Yuck…
~~Eileen tells Lisa R that Brandi and Kim made the whole situation personal and ugly… Eileen in her TH says that she’s done some crazy things over the years in the soaps she’s been on, “But nothing like what I’ve seen with these ladies… You can’t write this stuff.”
~~Monty kisses Kim and tells her she’s his best friend. Kim says he’s hers, too. In her TH she says that she doesn’t know where she and Kyle stand at this point of time – But that they’re both hurt and she doesn’t know how to fix it.
~~Kyle tells Adrienne and Kathy about what transpired that evening. Adrienne was thankful she was busy doing her magic act and missed the whole thing. Kathy innocently asks Adrienne, “You do magic now?”… lol… Adrienne confirms that she did magic earlier where was she? Kyle said that it was probably when everyone was being screamed at…
Well, that’s it for this week… We made it! Woo hoo! Next week is part 1 of a 3 part reunion. Order your hazmat suits now… Thanks for reading… Have a most excellent week… Happy Trails!