Million Dollar Listing New York – I have Some Art to Sell You! by NotInStCyr
Thanks to all the well-wishers who welcomed me last week. This site is a fun place to hang your hat and sit down to digest intelligent commentary with a side of snark. Come on in and sit a spell, as my Southern neighbors would say. When we left our intrepid trio, Fredrik was kicking the tires of his new bromance with Ryan; Ryan was calculating how large an engagement ring he could buy his girlfriend; and Luis was coping with the shame of driving a new expensive sports car around town. Alas, in this episode we don’t get any glimpses of a paint-dappled Derek; Emilia, the Ryan-tamer; or the immodest Maserati.
Fredrik visits a spectacular two-story, 3,285 sq. ft. apartment in the Time Warner Center owned by Cheryl, who has a Giggy-like dog named after Louis Vuitton. She spent 4 years combining 2 units and even built a 50 ft. closet modeled after Carrie’s in the SATC movie. I think that my entire apartment would comfortably fit in the shower stall. Which, by the way, happens to have the largest rain shower head I’ve ever seen. It could probably cause a monsoon if let loose upon an unsuspecting village. Word is that a lot of the apartments in this building are vacant, because they were bought by Russian oligarchs and Chinese bureaucrats as investments. So many empty units and so little affordable housing in Manhattan. These people seem to have forgotten the lesson of the French Revolution and the revolting peasants. Fredrik has a hard time convincing Cheryl that the asking price should not be $50 million, which is what she thinks it’s worth. After getting her to agree to sell the apartment for $34.975 million, he Freudian slips on his way out the door and call her small dog, “Luis”.
Speaking of which…Luis holds an open house at the 2,000 sq. ft. Laight St. listing he got in the last episode. He’s put a lot of effort into updating the unit – it’s been painted, staged and even had the light fixtures changed. It looks beautiful. We also get to see Luis’ surprisingly less than suave moves on a young woman in attendance.
Ryan has worked at Nest Seekers since he got out of college. He’s apprehensive when summoned to his boss’ apartment in Tribeca, which he hilariously calls the “mullet of New York” (“all business in the front and party in the back”). Eddie, the owner of Nest Seekers, wants to sell his 2,600 sq. ft. apartment on Reade St. for $5 million. Ryan thinks that it’s worth $4 million. They dicker over the price until one of Eddie’s sons suggests a compromise of $4.5 million. The 9 or 10 year old is clearly a budding shark who will have his nameplate on the door in no time. There is a catch, however: Eddie wants Ryan to promote and sell his large art collection, which is truly hideous. Some of pictures look like the paintings on velvet that a guy in my neighborhood sells out of the back of his pickup truck on the weekends, and others are the kind of the inoffensive abstracts you see hung over hotel headboards. Sadly, Eddie seems to think that because the artist has died, the art will be worth as much as his apartment.
Luis tells us that he prides himself on following up with his clients, which is why he’s getting together with Goopster’s neighbor, Angel. It’s been 2 weeks, and Angel is upset that the Laight St. apartment hasn’t sold. He demands results and angrily walks out on Luis, who is left wondering what just happened.
Knowing nothing about art, Ryan has an appraiser look at Eddie’s collection. The expert tells him that the market for this artist has not changed since his death, and suggests that the frames may be worth more than the paintings. She advises Ryan to use them to stage the unit.
Fredrik prepares for an open house in the Time Warner building. Since he’s focusing on the Asian market, he’s naturally decided to wear a black satin Chinese jacket that has a matching cap with a long false braid sewn into it. His put upon assistant, who’s being coerced into wearing a similar jacket, begs Fredrik not to don the cap, which might be considered offensive. We then get to see Fredrik in action and can appreciate why he’s the top real estate broker in New York, He can charm, joke, cajole and do business in several languages, including Chinese, Japanese and Korean. When he mistakenly addresses a woman in Mandarin, and she tells him that she’s Japanese, he’s able to seamlessly switch languages in a way that doesn’t offend her.
Ryan admits to finding his boss somewhat scary. At the office, he brings himself to tell Eddie about the expert’s less than flattering appraisal of the art work. It’s an opinion that’s apparently shared by the public, because Ryan posted a picture of one of the abstracts and only got 2 Likes for it. Undeterred, Eddie leans on Ryan to sell the awful collection and even gives him a painting as an incentive. I’m sure Emilia was thrilled. Now they’ll have to hang the picture any time Eddie is invited to their apartment.
Luis tells us that he likes to write every night at home to clear his head. His peace of mind is shattered when he gets a call from Adam, the friend who allowed Angel to rent his apartment. Unfortunately, he wants to move back in and get Angel and his family to move out. This puts Luis, who has already felt the wrath of his client, in a terrible position. He later meets Angel at Gleason’s Gym to watch a boxing match. I’m not sure why, but we’re informed that boxing represents hope to Puerto Ricans. I feel that there’s a joke to be made here, but I don’t want to knock the aspirations of an entire country. Before he can break the bad news to Angel about his imminent eviction, Luis conveniently receives two offers for the apartment on his cell phone. Although Angel just wants to move on and is willing to accept a low ball offer, Luis is savvy enough to know that his client isn’t happy. He leverages the 2 competing bids and ends up securing $5 million for Angel. Luis once again succeeds thanks to pluck and luck.
Ryan tries his best to interest people in Eddie’s art collection during the open house. When his charm offensive fails, Ryan resorts to giving people a triumph-over-tragedy story about the artist being a wounded vet who painted with his artificial limbs. That’s right, it’s a two-fer: buy a picture and support both our troops and the arts. No one is that gullible.
Fredrik’s Asian-oriented open house for the Time Warner apartment didn’t yield any offers. When he tells Cheryl that people found the unit too expensive, she bizarrely wants to increase the sale price to $42 million. She obviously resented the decrease in price that Fredrik insisted on. She believes that “if you raise the price, they will come”. Fredrik is incredulous, because he thinks that this will kill the momentum he’s been creating. We leave Fredrik, Cheryl and Louis/Luis in a stalemate.
Ryan gets a $3.5 million offer for the apartment in Mulletville. When he lunches with Scary Eddie to discuss the deal, Ryan nervously confesses that that no one wants the paintings. After countering at $3.95 million, Eddie agrees to accept $3.725 million if Ryan keeps trying to sell the awful art. Ryan is probably correct when he says that this is payback for his past sins. So he ends up with a commission of $111,750 and an albatross around his neck.
RHOMel S2 EP8 ~ All Dressed Up In Manila ~ (or Shame on Petti Playing the Race Card)
This episode starts out still at the dinner where we left off and Gina and Petti have a couple of comments to one another, and for the life of me I don’t know why after having it explained to her numerous times, Petti can’t go with the flow with Gina’s sense of humor, but I digress…she just has to snark about the comments being racist. Knowing that would be a volatile subject, Lydia and Chyka both speak up trying to lighten the mood and even Jackie pipes up with when there is an issue between two people, only those two people should sit down together and hash it out…guess she hasn’t learned that lesson yet, eh? You never see her sit down with Gina!
The conversation seems a bit more congenial…(but Jackie’s facial expressions tell a different tale…and one of “I am about to explode or implode”, not sure which yet but it doesn’t look good, LOL. Petti goes on to say Gina is always making jabs at her, Gina asks for an example, and she comes up with Gina calling her Eddiefleur which was said in fun during another episode where Petti was saying she was an expert in this and an expert in that, and Janet said Eddiefleur, and Gina laughed and picked up on it, because she says she is an expert in everything, and in her circle someone like that is called Eddie-the-expert. Everyone laughed at the time, but I guess it still bothers Petty Petti. So now tit-for-tat-Petti says she will call Gina Ned Kelly. Gina shrugs, Chyka asks what it means and Petti says “Mask dahling…she’s got a mask on.”
DC/Gina: She is really locking horns with me…If I locked horns with her she would be gouged from one end of her body to the other because my horns are about 7,000 times bigger than hers.
Petti goes on to say that when she walked into the group of women everyone accepts her and she feels love from everyone but Gina put up a brick wall…Gamble says she doesn’t buy that, and ‘about to boil over Jackie’ says “but it isn’t about you Gamble!”
Then Jackie goes on to say she threw Gamble and her partner under the bus on some morning show and called him a lunatic, and Janet says that is true, and Gina said no she didn’t call him a lunatic. Janet says what Gina said was let’s throw the newbies under the bus…(which if true, would totally depend on the context of how she said it, wouldn’t it?)
‘Rolling-boil-Jackie says’ NO NO NO…Gina tells Jackie to FO, and ‘Rapid-Boil Over-The-Edge-Of-The-Pot-Jackie’ raises her voice and says NO YOU FO and then gives her the Italian/Croatian universal FO hand gesture!
Jackie goes on yelling in her normal uncouth manner, Gina says to Gamble I told you all about that interview, Jackie fumes and gets up from the table saying she is so mad right now…(ya think?) Cross chatter going on and Jackie says she is so mad she is shaking (and sits back down) Janet reiterates Gina said let’s throw the newbies under the bus again, Jackie tells Gamble that Gina is NOT her friend, Petti smiles smugly at all that is going on, obviously quite pleased Gina is being attacked.
DC/Gina: I think Jackie is trying to convince Gamble that I am not a real friend to her, but WTF does Jackie know?
Jackie now challenging Gina to a lie detector test, and Janet is waving her arms saying that isn’t necessary because she was there.
Again Gina brings up the demons possessing Jackie and calling her delusional and mad, Chyka yells stop it, Janet says stop that a few times…
DC/Janet: Everyone’s gone crazy…we’re now like a pack of screaming banshees…
Gina goes on to tell Jackie she is hysterical (and I am guessing not in a funny ha ha way)…and the ultimate insult Gina says “Just get that spirit off you…tell it to FO”… Jackie calls Gina a lying sack of shit.
Gamble says wait can I quickly say something please, and Petti interrupts her and says wait wait wait…Gamble doesn’t wait and goes on to say she trusts Gina…Jackie interrupts Gamble and say something about her only knowing her truth…Gamble asks what her truth is…Jackie says Gina knew all about your rumors before anybody else did….Janet says if that is true she is going to scream, Jackie says it is true, Gina says she is delusional.
DC/Chyka: When Jackie said Gina knew all about the rumors I was actually floored
Jackie sitting their grinning now, and asked if that is the truth, Jackie says “of course it is.” (Uh…any proof of that Jacks?)
DC/Gamble: I think Jackie is trying to get me to mistrust Gina, and I trust Gina.
Gina tells Jackie she’s brutally aggressive, and asked what happened?
Jackie says “what happened? I don’t know why you lie so much”
Jackie tells her basically that Gina needs to get laid (the polite version) the other version is a F…ing good brute…to which Janet replies no but she herself needs that!
Janet tells Jackie she thinks that was mean and Jackie just laughs and slaps the table.
A couple more back-and-forth comments of How dare you talk to me like that between Gina and Jackie (will this dinner ever end?????)
Now Petti has to get in on it and asks Gina if she has an issue with her?
Gina says “No, but I don’t think you have a sense of humor sometimes”
Petti…I don’t see humor when it is nasty
Gina…I think we don’t know each other
Petti…(using Jackie’s recent accusations) you threw me under the bus every single time.
Gina reaches her arm around Petti, kisses her on the cheek and says I’m sorry.
No one would think that would end it right…just checking?
Petti…”You need to know what you are sorry for” (arrrggghhhhhh)
Gina…”well you told me”
Then Janet pipes up and says it is time to party…Gina says she isn’t going partying, because this group picks on everything said (paraphrasing here)
Jackie says you make people believe your lies, then tells Gamble…”Keep laughing Gamble…we’ll have the last laugh not you” and then Jackie starts laughing manically
Chyka says she wants to make a positive statement about Gamble’s Hens Night that is coming up…
DC Janet: It’s very easy for Chyka to have a positive note to end on, because if you think “I love you Chyks (slither Barbie) but the whole thing started with you baby!”
Visit to the Tea Master
Janet and Chyka visit Renee Sebastian the Tea Master. Janet sys this is the perfect time to ask the Tea Master about different tea blends.
Janet tells Renee about the fire and the charity foundation, and the reason they are marketing teas, and Janet gifted Renee some different teas, and then got into chai teas…They mix different ingredients.
Renee tells Janet if she really wants to market the tea she needs to study and learn about all the teas first, the differences in grades of tea, because they could get into serious trouble if they don’t have the quality control they need.
Janet said meeting with Renee was the highlight of her year…(all seemed pretty tame and benign to me, but I am glad Janet and Chyka had such a good time.)
Lydia and Gamble Have a Talk
Lydia tells Gamble how wonderful it is that she and Gina have become so close.
DC/Lydia: In Gamble’s eyes, Gina can do no wrong…Like what’s with that?
Gamble says she likes Gina a lot, she has been really supportive and has really helped me get through a few things
Petti and Jackie Talk
Petti goes to Jackie’s room and knocks on the door saying Jackie was so angry the night before she just wants to see if she is ok. (And I have a bridge to sell you if you believe that…she is there to gather more dirt on Gina)
Jackie says she doesn’t know what is going on with Gamble mimicking everything Gina “frick’in says” I said Gamble stop being a sheep
Petti: “Gamble was suddenly ranting at me like Who Let the Dog Out, fer Christ’s sake, get back in your cage.”
Jackie: I saw rage when I saw Gamble sticking up for Gina, but she will need to find that out for herself.
Back to Lydia and Gamble Have a Talk
Gamble: Gina is really straight forward and that’s the kind of person I like
Lydia: That’s the way she was with me initially, but I think there is also a lot of layers…and you just haven’t seen them yet…you haven’t had the privilege to see them…but Gina is stubborn…and Jackie doesn’t stop until she gets her answers, and (here we go) because she is psychic…she actually gets things…
Gamble: We all have our own thing…like I am a devout something-ist (couldn’t understand her…doing a head tilt here)
Lydia gives her a blank stare and then says…In my opinion because I’ve known Gina for awhile now and I’ve seen the way she is she does put people down and she doesn’t really want to know them …and I don’t mean that in a nasty way, but someone like Pettifleur she’s really upset you know what I mean?
Switch the Bitch back to Petti and Jackie Talk
Petti: I’ve had all these things these puzzle pieces with Gina and it’s starting to fit
Jackie: By the comments she has made
Petti Yeah but a lot is private outside like the airport thing
Jackie: I’ve never met a person who can lie to your face and have no emotion and I don’t know how you can live like that…isn’t that draining?
NOTE: If Jacks does move to the U.S/ and replaces Brandi…then she can see firsthand in Kim how that can be expertly done!)
Petti…Very draining to be her
Jackie…I certainly don’t trust her and I hope we can get passed that, but time will tell.
Back to Lydia and Gamble Have a Talk
The gist of this conversation is about Gina…seriously immature at times or she can’t be bothered and she seriously dismisses people
DC/Gamble: I don’t believe she puts people down…she puts people into perspective
Gamble…when I have doubts about something I often bounce things off her and she lets me know her perspective and if I have done something wrong she will tell me I have.
Lydia…it’s wonderful that you own it, but the times she mucks up she won’t own it and she thinks that she never mucks up.
DC/Lydia: All I am saying to Gamble is to protect herself because at the end of the day Gina (Lydia pronounces it Giner) is for Gina, and Gamble is for Giner! (All Righty Then…good to know Lydia…thanks soooooooooo much!)
Lydia Meeting Johanna’s Parents
It appears Johanna’s parents, Marina and Dario, have come to the hotel lobby of the resort to meet with Lydia, and Lydia shows up with flowers and gifts, and the letter Johanna sent with her.
Lydia hugs and greets them. Johanna’s mother thanks Lydia for taking care of her daughter and employing her…and Lydia tells them all the gifts are for them. She knows it is their 35th anniversary, and they thank her for the presents and say they are excited to meet her. Lydia hands them the letter and says they must read it because it is from Johanna.
DC/Lydia: Obviously Johanna speaks so highly of me, and I guess Johanna’s parents were so emotional because they know how much I look after their daughter, and how caring I am.
Lydia tells Johanna’s parents that she loves Johanna very much, and that she is her daughter in Australia, and that Johanna takes care of her if she is sick as well. She hands her one of the gifts and said it is a picture frame and her parents can put a picture of Lydia and Johanna in it…(LOL…uh…ok…)
Then Johanna’s little nephew shows up and Lydia picks him up and introduces herself as Mama Lydia to him…and gives him chocolate candy.
The Bar for Drinks
Petti and Gamble walk down the steps of the hotel to a voiceover of Petti saying she is about understated – sophistication – elegance…Petti has some headdress on with a jumpsuit and Gamble looks beautiful in her blue/white dress.
DC/Gamble: I saw Pettifleur and I nearly fell over…she looks like she could be fired out of a cannon.
DC/Petti: I decided to Rock a white jumpsuit, because I know all those other bitches are going to rock their pageant dresses.
Petti asks Gamble where she got her beautiful dress from, and Gamble says she bought it on-line…(YOU GO GIRL!) In return, Gamble asks Petti where she got all this from (indicating her headdress) and she says she has a friend who does this beautiful stuff.
DC/Gamble: I would certainly give Petti’s headpiece a roll, but I wouldn’t wear it out!
Petti says “So you buy your clothes on-line?”
Gamble responds that she has gotten about 20 dresses on sale that way.
Petti…and you buy it on-line?
Gamble…yes…and changes the subject and says…I heard Chyka was worried about you last night, are you ok?
Well…I felt I had been rejected by Gina…Gamble says we are new, and it is a bit daunting, these girls all know each other…Petti says she was looking forward to getting to know Gamble (SINCE WHEN???)and supporting her and likewise having Gamble support her…Gamble says oh and you don’t feel like I am supporting you either?…No because it is like you are the little puppy dog, and Gina is the guard dog (ah…you are digging yourself in her Pettipants!)…and I can’t get to you because the guard dog is standing there and…Gamble says she really doesn’t feel like that.
DC/Gamble: I found Pettifleur to be quite arrogant from the beginning so I haven’t offered her any support, and I did find her so condescending I get put off.
DC/Petti: Every time I try and get to know Gamble it seems to be whatever I say seems to get distorted in her head and I sound like I am trying to interrogate her. (Grrrl…you just called Gina a Dog …how can that get distorted?)
Petti asks Gamble why she said Nouveau Riche and explained it to me as young rich and to the girls as new money.
Gamble responds saying it is that people spend their money on bling and other stuff, and Petti wants to know why Gamble thinks she spends her money frivolously and Gamble says well look at you (LOL) …and Petti disagrees saying I know where to wear my bling…and Gamble does her DC by saying c’mon…she is sitting here in a bling headpiece!
Gamble says all right well you can be offended if you want…but she didn’t mean anything bad by it…and then says some people need to get a sense of humor around here. Petti ask her if she has any royalty around her…Gamble says NO, and that she wasn’t implying that…Petti is just being PETTY! Then Petti says when she talks that way it is from snobbery…blah blah blah… Petti does give her a Barbie name of Carnival Clown Barbie, Gamble says fine, and then Petti says do you want to know what it means, and Gamble says no, and Petti says she’s glad she doesn’t know what it means, but hopes she finds out what it means.
Next subject, Petti wants to know about Gambles gowns and asks how does she get all this free reign of speding up and getting all these dresses…and then asks her if she gets an allowance or something!
Gamble tells her it is none of her business!
Petti then says no, seriously…
Gamble replies I am not telling you when and how, and says I don’t ask you how you bought your things.
Petti says…there is this thing called a wage, and I earn it, and I don’t have a credit card given to me or an allowance, do you? (PETTY Petti has no redeemable social graces or skills, does she?)
Gamble looks at her like she wants to bitch slap her, and once again tells her it is none of her business. (HEY PETTI…do you really wonder why people don’t warm to you?) Then she just looks at her and says “That’s so offensive!”
DC/Gamble: She’s trying to find out if I’m a kept woman…and I will tell you right now, the one who looks most kept around here right now is Pettifleur!
Petti tries to get out if it now and says you know why I am asking is because you asked me what my partner does (uh…that isn’t the same thing Petti…asking what someone does as their occupation isn’t asking a personal question) and see you dish it out but can’t take it (doesn’t she always say this???)
Gamble…oh excuse me, you asked me a million questions at the gallery, so you think I asked you a million questions back…so it’s a payback thing.
Petti asks…You don’t want me to get to know you?
Gamble says it is obnoxious the way you want to get to know me
Petti says I was curious because you were saying to me that your darling partner gives you an allowance and…Gamble cuts her off and says I am sorry but I am not having this conversation, and if you want me to leave…
DC/Petti: I have a problem with women who don’t earn their money (shades of Jackie’s coaching coming out here)…and feel that they have a claim to their partner’s money. (And where has Gamble acted like she owns all of Rick’s money?)
Gamble says Don’t speak to me like that! It’s rude and I’m not having this conversation…so move on!
Petti…you don’t have to answer me, I was asking you because…Gamble picks up her purse and leaves. Petti just sits there smiling and says OK…walk away…
DC/Gamble: I think Pettifleur is so rude and I don’t need to put up with her crap.
Petti is sitting at the bar laughing and says Oops…ha ha ha
The Rest of the Ladies Come to the Bar
Lydia, Chyka, Janet and Jackie start walking down the stairs…all are sensibly dressed, except I think I can see Jackie’s lack of knickers her dress is so short.
They all walk into the bar, Petti is playing with her phone, the ladies say Hi to Petti and Petti starts in with I am so glad you are here
DC/Janet: As soon as I see Pettifleur I think she is going for Whitney in the Bodyguard, and I think she has pulled it off fabulously.
Chyka asks why are you lonesome?…Lydia asks where is the other one…maybe she didn’t like what you are wearing, ha ha ha…Petti holds out her hand and says give me smacks everybody…they slap it and ask what did she do…Gamble proceeds to say she (Gamble) had asked her some questions at the Gallery and so she thought she would ask her some questions in return…and she asked her if she got an allowance…
DC.Lydia: Why would Pettifleur want to go down that path?…(uh… because she IS Nouveau Riche?) It’s like asking somebody how much money do you have in your bank! (GOOD FOR YOU LYDIA) You know…really?
Janet pipes up and said what did she say?
Petti says she got really upset
Chyka said you made the insinuation that she doesn’t make her own money…and Janet asks is that where you were going?
Petti says I can’t say anything or I will get into trouble…to which Lydia replies Stop it you are not a child.
Petti says I know it was naughty of me to like ask that…and she said it’s none of your business I’m not going to answer you, but you can ask me where I get my money…because I don’t have an allowance and I don’t have access to my partners card, and I told her there is this thing called a wage…and she got really upset and defensive…
You think that she thought that you were being derogatory towards her then Chyka said.
Petti says it wasn’t her intent…(Yeah right Petti, now you say that after you thought all the girls would giggle over what you did and now they have all sans Jackie chastised you for doing it)
DC/Chyka: I think at this moment, Pettifleur overstepped the mark (RIGHT CHYKA)
Changing the subject as fast as she can, she says gleefully and she didn’t know the meaning of the Barbie name I gave her…Janet asks what the Barbie name was that she gave her and Lydia pipes up and says Ned Kelly Jr. and then laughs…and Janet says the ventriloquists dummy…
DC/Janet: Gina has her hand right up Gambles butt to the tongue
Gina and Gamble walk into the bar and say hello to the ladies
DC/Gina: I had a lovely day on my own just to recover and refresh from the night before, so I walk into the bar and there is Jackie, and I think uh hmm…she is looking a little bit calmer tonight which is good, and suddenly there is Grace Jones, and I’m thinking oh…when did she arrive.
Lydia hugs Gamble and asks where did she go, and Gamble says she threw a bit of a tantrum…(NOT…walking away from Petti was not a tantrum) Gamble then asks are you all right Ms. Fleur?, and then says there are things I am going to keep private (Jackie smirks) you are going into a zone that obviously upsets me and please don’t do that again, ok? I don’t think you would do that to any of the other women…Petti says yes I have had conversations with the other women…Lydia says but that doesn’t mean it is comfortable for her. Petti says I’m sorry and if you don’t want me to talk about stuff like that, but remember you asked ME those questions…Gamble says I did not, Petti…yes you did, Gamble…I did not…I asked what your partner did!
Chyka chimes in and says do you think we should lighten up the mood?…and maybe talk about Gamble’s Hens night, cause Jackie and I have been doing some stuff and we’ve got a theme…and the theme is James Bond Girls…everyone claps and yells and say it will be fun.
Gamble brings up that her sister Tempest is coming to Melbourne to have some plastic surgery…Janet says she told Tempest she would love it after the work is done, and Petti snidely says to Chyka…What if the surgeon makes the sister look like her! Chyka laughs.
They are all talking about the skin being frozen for awhile, Lydia says she could have the fat sucking machine at her house walking around…Petti says it isn’t good for the organs…someone says it is only for an hour…
Janet brings up that Petti has a special day coming up and she is wondering how they are going to celebrate it. And Petti goes into wanting the White Bentley again, with linen interior…(the way she is describing it, it reminds me of the PBS Comedy “Keeping up Appearances” where Hyacinth describes her china as “Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles”.)
Lydia asks if she can ask Petti a personal question, and says “Who is buying it?” Petti ignores her and goes on talking about the car having to buy it brand new…Lydia asks the question again…Petti goes rambling on about losing $200,000.00 the minute she drives it off the lot in depreciation…Lydia says we’ve all done that…and brings up the million dollar question as to whether Frank is buying Petti the car. Then Petti says that would be a very big “ask” on her part…and Lydia says something about that is a huge allowance…and Petti says she doesn’t get an allowance…Petti goes on and on about no allowance and no access to credit cards…
DC/Petti: I deserve the Bentley for one reason and one reason only because I look bloody fabulous in it.
Gamble turns privately to Gina and says I have now learned how to say feminist and I can tell her I am a feminist and stop being a c**t…Gina laughs! (Sorry…as much as I hate that word, it was funny coming from Gamble to Gina who got in deep doo doo last year for saying it.)
Janet is telling how she wants to have some R&R and is taking the ladies to “The Farm” which is the premium spa in the Philippines.
Lydia and Gamble having a foot massage, and Gamble asks her what she is going to be up to when they get back to Melbourne and Lydia says it is the 25th anniversary of her little son that died so she is going to the cemetery. She visits him every year. Gamble says she is sorry (that she lost her son) and she finds it absolutely heartbreaking…and if it is any consolation she is not alone in the loss, and apologizes again for Chyka’s party because she couldn’t hear well from the other end of the table and didn’t know when the conversation turned from the wedding of her son to the loss of her child. Lydia in her DC remarks she felt a bit of sisterhood closeness with Gamble at that moment.
Lydia asks what happened the day before with Petti and Gamble says she gets a bit dogmatic at times…and we don’t know each other well enough for her to be discussing her intimate finances with her…and about her father and grandmother dying and her inheritance…Lydia said but you have just told me…and here comes the best line of the night…Gamble says “But you’re not being an asshole dahling!” (bada bing bada boom!) Lydia laughs.
DC Lydia: I have a little soft spot for Gamble, I don’t know why, she is a very soft gentle woman…it was really lovely having Gamble open up to me.
Switch the Bitch (I just had to say that since no one has in 5 minutes) to Janet, Jackie and Gina getting massages… and then to Chyka and Turban Petti getting massages as well. Chyka says how wonderful and relaxing and hopes it stays that way through dinner, and Petti says she has a feeling it is a calm before the storm…(she must have trouble up her sleeve…or know that Jackie is going to start something since she has been mute today so far.)
Dinner at Alive Cuisine @ The Farm
Gina and Gamble are the first to arrive and are having a sip of wine while they wait. There is small talk between the two about Gina’s partner and their long distance relationship because he travels so much.
The rest of the ladies arrive, and Lydia asks how everyone is feeling, and they all say relaxed. Gina starts out by inviting all the ladies to a sneak preview of her shoe line she is about to launch. While everyone else seems excited, here is Jackie’s reaction…
Chyka said…Who knew?
Petti asked if she was designing
DC/Lydia: I have never heard Gina talk about shoes, designing, or anything like that.
Petti…are you having pumps, slingbacks, pointies…please tell me you are doing a pair of boots (Uh have you ever seen Gina in a pair of boots?)
(Dear Lydia…read her book)
Gina…No I’m not doing any daywear
Petti…No I mean bling boots
Chyka…No I think Gina is more of a heel girl
Petti…so you are not doing boots…at all?
DC/Petti: Gina and her shoes…yeah…
Lydia…where are they getting made?
DC/Gamble: I’m definitely getting myself a bunch of her shoes!
DC/Lydia: I’m not sure what customers …obviously a lot of women like her, bridal and drag queens.
Gamble starts talking about bags she would like to market, and says she doesn’t know much about it like the other women, but she wants to do the little doggie walking bags. As the cat releases Jackie’s tongue…she says you should call it Doggie Couture.
Janet says she really likes Gamble and wishes her success.
Petti can’t stand they are discussing Gamble and not her, so she whips out a copy of her manuscript and says it is for Lydia to read…
Gina says…Can I tell you something, I read the first page…
Petti…you did? You are shocking me
Gina, yes and you actually do address the issue that bitch has been derogatory
Petti in her DC said that is the highest compliment coming from Gina…and the fact that she read the book…it is brilliant…(NO, she said she read the first page)…
Gina…but I don’t think you should start a paragraph with “because” (LOL)…Petti says it hasn’t been typeset yet, Gina says she does worry still that it might be like the other book…Petti says she is not interested in reading anybody else’s books…Gina says it is similar…Petti says it is totally different and we quickly move on to Petti saying her famous blah blah blah blah…more book discussion among all the ladies with Petti leading the conversation and snapping her fingers…until Gamble says “switching the bitch I’m, so over it…and Petti looks stunned!
Gamble wants to know what her Barbie name means…someone asks what is was and they say Carnival Clown Barbie…Gina says do you want her to like you after that comment, that’s not very nice, and Petti says…are you her guard dog or something, my God! (while waving her arms)…Gamble keeps asking what it means while Petti is ranting…and she says it is just something she does and she smiles and moves her head back and forth (Say WHAT???)…Gamble laughs and says Is that all! They toast!
- Gina invites the ladies to her shoe launch (gonna be some friction there because she has named some shoes after her co-stars)
- Petti shows up to something in a vintage dress and Gina says in a DC that her hat looks like wrapped toilet paper on her head.
- There are some pictures that have been released of Gamble
OK ladies…you pick the best line of the show:
- Gamble saying to Lydia “But you’re not being an asshole dahling!”
- Petti saying to Chyka…What if the surgeon makes the sister look like her!
For more Gina Liano shoes…
Where to buy Petti’s book
http://www.pettifleur.com (which goes to a blank page that says new website coming soon) so I tried to find the publisher and I found this https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Pettifleur and I can’t find much more so I don’t know if it is self-published or just an eBook…I will keep looking…but for now…
Ciao y’all…have a great week!