The Shahs of Sunset – Can‘t Fake the Funk by SunnyGirl
The show opens on Reza and Adam playing with their cat, Petey. Reza is talking about working out for two weeks and only eating rice cakes, egg whites, and broccoli with some additional Styrofoam if he is really hungry. He says he has lost 10 pounds. Then they discuss their wedding. (I thought it had already been decided they were going to Thailand to get married.) They talk about Thailand and how Reza’s mom is not going to be happy if they have a destination wedding. Reza talks about going to the tiger sanctuary in Thailand where, according to him, you can pet baby tigers. This is the ultimate decision maker for Reza. He says if he can get married AND pet baby tigers, then Thailand is the place for him.
They also talk about Mike’s invitation to a reconciliation dinner. Reza is hurt and upset (rightly so) about the comment Mike made last week that Jessica thinks he is evil. Reza is also uncomfortable that while MJ, Asa, Adam and he have been invited to this dinner, GG has not. He feels that Mike is trying to get them on his side, and cut GG out of the group.
MJ and Reza go to a studio so that MJ can do boudoir pictures for Charlie. MJ says this is way out of her comfort zone but that she wants to embrace her body, face and beauty and learn to appreciate herself. While she is sprawled across the lounge wearing not much, Reza tells her she is the Persian Anna Nicole. Spot on, Reza.
GG is at a store called Hollywood Styles, shopping for something to wear to Asifa’s Bollywood party. GG looks extremely uncomfortable about the clothing. Asifa shows up wearing a jeweled headdress (not sure what you call it – does anyone know?) Asifa says in her TH that she wants a G rated party which translates to GG not causing any fights. Asifa asks GG how the polygraph went. GG tells her that a 100 year old man with a stick up his ass did the poly and the results were inconclusive. Asifa says take it again with someone else. Then Asifa says the strangest thing. She tells GG that she shouldn’t have put herself in that situation. GG says what? She shouldn’t have been drinking and partying with her friends? Then GG says it really hurts her that no one believes her. She says she will do another polygraph.
Asa is planning her political art performance. (This is Asa at her best!) She has invited a group of women to participate. They will wear veils. Some will unveil; some will remain veiled. These women are from all different backgrounds and cultures with one common denominator: women are oppressed in each of these cultures. They start trying on the black veils that Asa has gotten. Some of the women become emotional, because they can choose to wear the veil but in Iran the women are unable to choose.
Now Mike is at Shervin’s house. For whatever reason, Bravo has decided to have Shervin on each episode of The Shahs. The only storyline he has is his extreme wealthiness. Cars, house, jewelry. Mike, obviously, is a Shervin wannabe. Mike claims that Persian men love expensive cars, lavish homes and flashy jewelry. Of course, Shervin asks about how Mike is doing with the “group.” Mike says he loves those guys and wants to put everything behind him but that Jessica does not want to reconcile. Mike claims that something so stupid as what GG is claiming happened in Turkey should not kill the relationships that have lasted for years.
MJ and Charlie are at MJ’s house. When Charlie arrives, she asks him if she looks pretty. (Yep. Because what can Charlie say but yes?) Charlie, of course, responds that she looks very pretty but he thinks she always looks pretty. (Before Charlie arrives, did you notice that MJ pulled a drink out of the freezer? I wonder if the freezer has been cleaned since it was Pablo’s resting ground.) MJ starts giggling uncomfortably. She has hidden the HUGE (and I mean HUGE!) boudoir portrait in the covers of her bed. Charlie says he wants to take a nap. MJ says they must make the bed in order to take a nap. When Charlie starts arranging the covers, he finds the portrait. Charlie says it’s amazing. He says her lips are off the hook. (PS – I like Charlie.) MJ tells Charlie that her feelings are really grooving and that she loves him like kelp. (Yes, because kelp grows very fast.) He says he loves her and that he needs to start thinking about a ring. Are there wedding bells in the future for MJ? I actually hope so, because Charlie really seems to keep her grounded. She is softer, sweeter, calmer with Charlie. I like that side of MJ.
Asa and the group of women are on a bus in their veils. Asa says the veil is a symbol of modesty. She says modesty seems to have no place in the western world. Asa has a megaphone with her. We also see that Reza is there, with a camera to photograph Asa’s political art performance. Asa is hoping that by posting the video of the performance that it will go viral and reach many people. As the women gather in their black veils, they draw a crowd. Asa uses the megaphone to say “I’m every woman, born free strong and beautiful. To veil or unveil, it is my right to choose.” Everyone chants “I’m Every Woman” and then some begin to remove their veils. Signs were held up with #I’m Every Woman. Like I said before, this is Asa at her best. The Persian Priestess has again done something extraordinary and beautiful to draw attention for cultural awareness.
MJ arrives at GG’s condo. GG has hired the best of the best in polygraphy. The polygrapher, John, arrives and begins setting up. GG tells him about her prior polygraph and how the results were inconclusive. John tells them that his equipment is top of the line computerized equipment that is far more accurate. He says they will definitely have conclusive results. He tells the ladies that he has been doing this for over 25 years. He says he has sent people to jail on his results and gotten people out of jail on his results. He then administers the test. He tells GG immediately that she has, without a doubt, passed the polygraph. It is apparent that GG is relieved and emotional. MJ hugs her.
Asa, Asifa and GG are at a pilates class. Asifa and GG are complaining about the class. Asa says she is between two super skinny bitches and all they are doing is complaining. Asa states that skinny people complain too much.
Now we get to the meat of the episode. Mike and Jessica are getting ready for the reconciliation dinner. Jessica is not happy to be going. She says she deserves an apology. Mike wants to forgive and forget. Jessica is adamant that she is not going to forgive or forget – and that she is only going because Mike wants her to go.
Mike and Jessica arrive at the restaurant first. Jessica is fired up and tells Mike that she is done being fake and that he better not shush her. She says she is going to say how she feels. We all know this is not going to end well. Jessica has a really bad attitude before anyone even shows up. Mike wants everyone to patch things up, but Jessica tells him these are not real friends. (Methinks Jessica’s anger would be better spent on GG and Mike. Her anger seems to be misplaced.) Asa shows up next. The conversation is very stilted. Asa asks to see Jessica’s ring and congratulates them both on their engagement. Jessica won’t even look Asa in the face. Next MJ shows up. She also asks to see the ring and makes a big deal over it. MJ then brings up that she learned about the engagement on social media and that it really hurt. Jessica takes this as a chance to get fired up. She tells MJ that she doesn’t give a F%^& about them. Reza and Adam show up and are seated.
Asa tries to explain to Jessica that she gave her word to GG that she wouldn’t say anything and that Asa tries to stand behind her word. Jessica continues to rail and swear at Asa, MJ and Reza. Jessica doesn’t want to hear a thing anyone has to say and uses every opportunity to scream and swear at them. Mike, in his TH, is upset and hurt that the group seems to believe the story that GG has “made up.” Jessica screams about them believing GG’s lies. MJ calmly asks what happens if the story is true? Mike and Jessica deny that anything happened in Turkey. MJ again calmly states that she was there when GG took a polygraph and that GG passed the test. Mike denies again and says that GG passed the test because she believes her own lies. Reza looks at Mike and says that all three of them (Asa, MJ and Reza) believe GG. Jessica screams again and asks “who is the victim?” Jessica says that she is the victim. (In my world, I believe she is right. But she hasn’t figured out that Mike is the one making her the victim.)
Now the conversation turns to Mike telling Reza that Jessica thinks he is evil. When Reza asks about that, Jessica denies it. She says Mike is lying if he said that. She tells Reza that she doesn’t think he is a good person but she never said he was evil. Reza gets fired up too and tells Jessica that it is his prerogative if he wants to keep his business and personal life separate. They go back and forth until Reza finally tells Jessica that she can’t keep blaming everything on other people. Reza – you hit the nail on the head. Jessica is upset and wants to be angry at everyone but Mike. The anger is displaced.
Reza says he is exhausted and asks that they continue this discussion at another time. As they leave, it is apparent that Asa, MJ and Reza are more confused and upset. There isn’t a resolution. Mike says he wants to get back to a place of harmony and peace. As they are waiting for their cars, Asa says she feels like she has been scolded like a child. Jessica starts screaming again and tells Asa to get real. She says don’t fake the funk. Asa doesn’t even understand what that means. Jessica sneers as she tells Asa that she is all pretend. Jessica and Asa are yelling at each other again. Asa tells Jessica that her sense of entitlement is embarrassing.
Thanks for reading!