The Shahs of Sunset – Bubbles of Fertility by SunnyGirl
Finally! The Shahs have an episode that isn’t all about Mike and GG and what may or may not have happened in Turkey!
First we see Reza at the Stanley condos. Worker bees are all over and Reza tells us that Asa’s magic made the difference. Suddenly his permits started being approved and everything is coming together. (I want Asa to come bless my life.) Reza’s phone rings and it’s MJ. She has made an appointment with a fertility specialist and wants Reza to come with her. (Weird.) Reza tells her okay and then tells her that he and Adam have an appointment with the therapist.
Asa shows up at the Stanley address. Reza says Asa should come to bed with Reza and Adam to resolve the intimacy issues! They talk about Thailand and Asa asks who he has invited. He tells her he has invited everyone, including Mike but Mike won’t come without Jessica and Reza did not want Jessica there. Asa tells Reza that, while she is looking forward to Thailand, she is still unhappy about MJ’s bachelor party. (Check out Asa’s shoes. I love, love, love them.)
Reza and MJ are at the fertility specialist’s office and MJ is checking in. MJ says a 40 year old woman needs to have options. (How many years is MJ going to be 40? Because she has been 40 since this show started.) Reza tells MJ she would be a good mom. Now Dr. “Smily” Ghadir calls MJ back into the examining room. MJ tells him that she is checking her eggs because she wants to be able to get pregnant the old fashioned way. They go over the questionnaire that MJ has filled out. The doctor says he went to high school with MJ and questions the age of 40. (Yay! I was right!) MJ claims she is 40 and is not changing her answer. The doctor calls her 40ish. Now MJ is starting to undress (while Reza is in the room) and get into the hospital gown. Note – MJ keeps her Louboutin’s on while her feet are up in the stirrups. The doctor begins the pelvic ultrasound. MJ is very anxious and covers her face. She is worried she won’t have any eggs. The doctor says her ovaries are healthy and has more eggs that normal for a 40ish woman. MJ breaks down, crying and emotional. (MJ has been much more real this season – with the eggs, her new boyfriend, and her dog. It’s refreshing.) The doctor will now do bloodwork to finalize the testing. As MJ and Reza leave the doctor’s office, MJ says she is vaginally viable.
Asa and her parents arrive at their house, complete with cats. The house is finally done and Asa can’t wait until her parents see the changes. If you do nothing else, watch this video. Asa’s mother has on the most unusual T-shirt I have ever seen. It is a bikini drawn on the T-shirt, both front and back. When she moves, I swear it looks real. The outside of the house in been painted and done in greys. Asa’s mom says it is 50 shades of grey! Surprisingly, the inside of the house looks beautiful. (I’m not a fan of the Persian way of decorating.) It is tastefully decorated. The white and black kitchen is amazing and Momma Joon is swooning and dancing over it. Asa, in her TH, says that her parents sacrificed luxury and their own lives to move to American to give their children better lives. Asa says she is the epitome of the American dream. Asa hangs an evil eye pendant over the front door of the house in order to bless the house and give it positive energy.
Mike is at a house with Adi, another realtor. He is the buyer’s agent for the house. It has sold at almost $3 million, which nets him a commission of around $160k. MJ calls and wants to come by the house. He is sharing his happy news with MJ and they talk about how it’s like old times. MJ says she is so proud of him. She asks him how he likes the residential end of the real estate business. He says there are so many details in residential sales and that he loves it.
Of course, the talk turns to the rift between Mike and the rest of the group. Mike says he has apologized to Reza and Asa. MJ talks about the polygraph test, and tells him that she believes GG is definitely telling the truth. MJ says it’s now at a point where it’s all about I’m sorry. MJ wants Mike to sit down with GG and have a discussion. MJ says she feels like Mike is carrying a huge burden. MJ says he needs to apologize; Mike says he will consider it.
Now we are at Asifa and Bobby’s house, where we know we will have front row seats to an argument. (The Bickersons bicker again.) Bobby’s mom is arriving and Bobby wants to give his mom their bedroom. Asifa is not happy about that. Bobby says she can’t walk very well and that they just need to do the right thing. Bobby’s mother, Farzi, arrives. Bobby and Asifa start getting food ready. (Remember, they only do carryout food – no cooking.) Asifa wants to throw it on the table; Bobby wants to put it into nice dishes. They begin arguing about this and you can see Farzi is uncomfortable. While Asifa is changing her clothes, Bobby and Farzi discuss their relationship. Farzi tells Bobby if he is happy, she is okay. When Asifa comes back in, Bobby tells Farzi he wants her to move back to LA. Asifa says Farzi must stay where she is happiest. Bobby says he is a momma’s boy and that Asifa knows that. Asifa starts in again about some friend of hers that Bobby slept with while they weren’t together. Bobby says there is no trust and that Asifa knew about this girl before they got back together. Basically, this relationship is a goner.
MJ and Charlie are having a picnic. MJ says that because she is now in a serious relationship, she has allowed herself to dream about becoming a mother. GG shows up. MJ is going to meet GG’s new guy, Danny, and she is skeptical but when Danny shows up and MJ sees how GG lights up, she is less concerned. MJ, of course, gets right to the point and asks Danny if they are exclusive. Danny answers that they are on the right track. MJ says any guy would be a fool to let GG go because she is the whole package. Awe!! GG and MJ walk away to discuss Danny. GG says he is sweet and caring and pays attention to her. MJ says he has passed her test.
Now we are at Dr. Down’s office with Reza and Adam. Both guys are looking stressed and uncomfortable. Dr. Downs asks Reza what the issues are. Reza responds that they are intimacy issues. Dr. Downs asks what does intimacy look like for Reza. Reza says passion and sex. Reza also hates Adam’s computer pornography. Adam claims Reza is exaggerating. Reza is concerned about whether they are compatible enough. Dr. Downs asks Adam what he thinks the issues are. Adam says communication and then looks at Reza for confirmation. Dr. Downs (rightly so) tells Adam that he needs to speak up – that Reza is a big personality but that Adam is allowed to have feelings too. Dr. Downs also claims he sees frustration and anger with both of them. They discuss delaying the wedding because they all feel nothing is going to resolve in one therapy session. Reza looks at Adam and says getting married isn’t happening. Adam covers his face and is clearly very emotional. Adam says he put his world into Reza’s world and now he feels lost. Reza claims he wants to stay together but doesn’t think things are right between them. They agree to meet with Dr. Downs once a week.
Vida and MJ are having dinner at a restaurant. MJ asks Vida if she wants MJ to be happy. Vida, of course, responds yes. MJ asks Vid not to judge Charlie too harshly. Now Charlie arrives and is seated. MJ says she wasn’t fair when she did a surprise introduction – that it wasn’t fair to Vida or Charlie. Vida asks what stage their relationship is in. Vida asks Charlie is he is there for MJ. Charlie answers the questions in a manner that Vida is accepting. Vida tells him to just be there for MJ. MJ says this is a big breakthrough for Vida. MJ says she finally has the courage to dream.
Asa is having dessert with Bobby. She thinks Asifa and Bobby don’t feel heard and she thinks she can help. (Yeah. When is it ever a good idea to do that?) Bobby says he is sick of being Asifa’s bitch. Bobby asks Asa if she thinks he would be a good husband and father. Asa answers yes. Bobby asks if she can say the same about Asifa. Asa tells Bobby to stop acting like a victim because it is contributing to the problems. (Yay, again Asa!) Bobby and Asifa are going to Thailand in the hopes it will help their relationship.
MJ’s bloodwork is back. (Weird – she is at a client’s house taking the call on speakerphone.) Her bloodwork for venereal diseases is clear and her ovaries are producing eggs!
Now Reza has called everyone together – well, except for Mike. Reza arrives and everyone is concerned about how stressed he looks. Asifa starts talking about the altercation with GG. MJ asks them to torture each other one on one. Good idea! Asifa wants to start therapy and Bobby isn’t so sure.
Reza says that he has cancelled the wedding. Everyone is shocked! Everyone is asking about Adam and if he is okay. Reza says Adam is at home, that they aren’t breaking up. He says Adam will not be going to Thailand with them because he doesn’t want to go now. He asks that they give Adam some space because Adam is having a tough time. They end the show with a toast to a good time in Thailand.
Million Dollar Listing New York S4E5 by NotInStCyr
When we last saw our favorite New York brokers, Fredrik was egging Ryan on; Ryan was trying to rein in Arty, his party-hearty client; and Luis was all alone, naturally.
Luis gushes about an apartment he’s about to see at 46 Carmine in the West Village. You realize, of course, that Luis is in a Red Bull-fueled energetic state most of the time. To see him this enthusiastic is almost more than our galaxy can bear. I fear we could all get blown to bits by this super nova of real estate ambition. All this bounciness is over an 800 sq. ft. unit owned by Bianca, a woman he met at an art show. She told him that Jackson Pollock, the famous American painter, once lived in it. The apartment is compact with high ceilings and has a skylight that fills it with light. The place doesn’t seem as small as it is, because it’s airy and makes clever use of storage spaces, like a ship’s quarters. Luis is disappointed to learn that there aren’t any paint splatters left from Pollock’s residency and vows to track down a paint drop if it kills him. Bianca only paid $27,000 for it back in 1972. She thinks it’s a unique property worth more than the $1.25 million Luis suggests. Despite its artistic legacy, the apartment is still in an old building without any amenities.
.Ryan has scheduled a meeting with Arty, the hard drinking Russian businessman who wants to spend $20 million. Arty is insulted when Ryan asks him to take real estate showings more seriously and not bring his harem of mayhem along. Ryan treads carefully, because as the client, Arty has the upper hand here. For the first time, Arty drops the frat boy demeanor and looks Ryan in the eyes and menacingly tells him that he can easily find another broker. Although he stands behind his “this is the way I do business” philosophy, Arty eventually agrees to leave the bimbo pack behind.
Derek, who really is paint dappled in this episode, is in the living room waiting to paint Emilia’s portrait. I’m surprised that someone who makes his living as an artist doesn’t have a separate space in which to paint. Propping a canvas up on a glass coffee table just doesn’t seem too professional. I suspect that either the spare room or studio he uses wasn’t big enough to fit a camera crew. Fredrik pops in just long enough to wonder out loud how Emilia is going to react to being asked for her eggs.
Emilia arrives just as Fredrik is leaving. She arranges herself on the sectional and chats easily with Derek about how similar Ryan and Fredrik are. We get a glimpse of the painting, which Derek said was going to be an abstract. Well, it certainly is abstract and also a bit smudgy. I really hate to be mean, but it looks more like a portrait of Cousin It than of Emilia. In what is fast becoming a French farce, Fredrik returns after visiting the beleaguered stager for the 19th St. penthouse. (Expect lots of faux fur.) When Emilia proves to be as warm, smart and charming as ever, Fredrik brings up the great egg hunt. Emboldened, he then asks Emilia if she’d be willing to donate her eggs so that they could have a child. She laughs until she realizes that Fredrik is serious. Emilia recovers quickly and tells the men that their request is incredibly flattering. However, she and Ryan may have children of their own someday, and she needs to talk to him about it. Fredrik cheerfully replies that their children could be siblings and is encouraged by her not saying “no” right away. Methinks I detect a heavy-handed Bravo setup. If Fredrik and Derek and Ryan and Emilia really cross-pollinated, the Rapture would happen, the 4 Horsemen would gallop in front of a CNN camera crew and the Cubs would probably win the World Series.
Luis takes Ronita to the open house for the West Village apartment. He tells her that Jackson Pollock’s favorite number was 46, and that he often incorporated 4 and 6 into his paintings. So, it would be very fitting if he could sell the unit for $1.46 million. His strategy is to price low and aim high. Luis should probably make that his family motto. There is a line of people outside 46 Carmine waiting for the open house to start. The Jackson Pollock connection has stirred up a lot of interest, and sure enough, someone asks if there were any paint splatters left behind. The Luis of a few years ago would probably have dropped a little Benjamin Moore on the floor to enhance the property’s value.
Ryan comes home as Emilia is preparing a light dinner. She needs to tell him something, and she says that he’s either going to be pissed off about it, or he’s going to make a joke about it. This sounds ominous, and his knee jerk reaction is to ask if she’s pregnant. Oh, Ryan. She then tells him about being asked to donate her egg. Ryan also laughs at first. If he’d been drinking at the time, there would have been spit take involved. There is a long pause as it slowly dawns on him that Emilia is not punking him. To her face, he says all the right things: I support you, do what you think is best, yada yada yada. Privately, he notes that Fredrik has been his mortal enemy for most of his career and emphatically declares, “No. They’re MY eggs!”
We next see Ryan dressed in a pink suit that is so tight, he must coat himself in Pam to be able to slither into it. He’s brought Arty to a construction site in the Financial District. Arty is unimpressed with the hole in the ground, but Ryan knows that this building will have the latest in high tech gadgets, something that appeals to rich, male clients. They enter the sales office, which looks relatively low key. However, a few taps on a touch screen and a huge bank of screens at one end of the room simulate the incredible view of New York that Arty would enjoy from the 7,000 sq. ft. apartment on the 49th floor apartment. Meh – Arty is not so easily impressed. So, the salesman snaps his fingers, and curtains silently part to reveal a spectacular model apartment. Finally, Arty is dazzled enough to declare that he’ll buy it — if his gaggle of girlfriends agrees. I’m wondering if 7,000 sq. ft. will really be big enough to house the entire harem. Will each leggy blonde get her own room, or will Arty need to install bunk beds?
Ryan goes to see Fredrik at his Douglas Elliman office. He wants to get the paperwork for the co-listing out of the way and start talking about the project. He definitely doesn’t want to discuss eggs. So, naturally, Fredrik mentions that Emilia called and turned down their request. He says that they understand and still love her. Ryan wants to know if they ask a lot of people for their eggs. He feels that the situation was weird, given their past history. He also seems resentful that Fredrik didn’t “cc’d” him on the matter. Fredrik replies that she was only the third person they’ve asked. Ryan tells us that while he sincerely wants Fredrik and Derek to find the right donor, he just doesn’t want it to be his girlfriend.
Finally, Fredrik admits that the lawyers for their firms were unable to hammer out the contract for the co-listing and that he’s really disappointed it didn’t work out. Ryan on the other hand, reacts in a paranoid manner and suspects that Fredrik is trying to pull a fast one. He accuses Fredrik of trying to cheat him out of a commission. Fredrik assures him that that there are no offers on the table and that nothing has been sold. While he still thinks they’re friends, Ryan seems unsure about that and sarcastically wishes Fredrik good luck on profiting from his staging suggestions for the penthouse.
Ronita informs Luis that 6 offers have come in for the Carmine St. apartment. The best are for $1.35 million and $1.4 million, both well above the listing price. Since the buyer willing to pay $1.4 million can’t go any higher, he calls the broker who submitted the lower bid. His willingness to meet gives Luis hope that the offer can be raised to $1.46 million. Luis and Ronita get together with the broker at Cipriani’s. Once Luis pinky swears that he’s not playing games and will not counter-offer, both parties agree to $1.46 million. Luis feels that he’s “kept history alive” and that this is a “beautiful story for the rest of the world”. On behalf of the world, I thank you, Luis, you deluded ball of fire.
Since nothing came of the 19th St. deal, Ryan is glad that he persevered with Arty. Although the gaggle gave their seal of approval, Arty remains as unpredictable as ever. He tells Ryan to meet him at a heliport. There, he tells him that he must do something to seal the deal. It’s vision quest time! They land at the Monticello Motor Club racetrack, where Arty announces that he will buy the apartment at “full ask” only if Ryan beats him in a 10-lap race. Ryan tells us that ordinarily, he’d find the situation completely ridiculous, but this is Arty — Arty who drinks tequila for breakfast. Lest we forget, Ryan reminds us that he’s willing to do anything for a $600,000 commission. It’s actually $571,800, but who’s counting? We see snippets of some kind of orientation and/or training about racing high performance sports cars. At least I hope so, because the last thing we saw Ryan drive around Manhattan was a scooter. They put a grown-up in the car with Ryan, who drives as if he’s taking his grandmother to church.
While Speed Racer is dawdling around the track, we visit Fredrik at his open house at 128 W. 19th St. Unfortunately, it’s a really hot day, and the AC is AWOL. Someone put a portable air conditioner on the floor, but it’s obviously not enough to make the event anything less than hellaciously hot. Fredrik says that this is one of the worst things that has ever happened to him in an open house. As brokers flee and sweat stains spread, he unbuttons his shirt, deliberately revealing a “little bit of tanned Swedish man skin.” Oh, that Fredrik. He really uses all of the tools at his disposal to do business and is not above Chippendaling himself for a deal. One of the women clutches her pearls.
Luckily, Ryan is still alive — not dying was one of his goals. He maintains an erratic and snail-like pace, while Arty expertly takes and holds on to the lead. On the final lap, Arty admits that he wants the apartment so bad, that he’s going to let Ryan win. Ryan takes the lead and lets out a squeal of happiness that is so high-pitched, it woke my dog up from its nap. He gets out of the car and jumps up and down for joy several times, still emitting dolphin-like sounds. I wonder what made Ryan more ecstatic: “winning” the race, getting the huge commission or just surviving.
In the car, Fredrik calls Erez, the developer of the 19th St. building, and informs him that there are offers at the full asking price and no conditions for 4 out of the 5 units. The developer seems stunned and pleased at the same time, which makes it all the more surprising when he orders Fredrik to pull the penthouse off the market. Even though Fredrik assures him that they’ll get offers for the penthouse soon, Erez is adamant and hangs up the phone. In the sit-down commentary, Fredrik calmly assures us that he always sells out buildings and will devote himself night and day to figuring out a strategy for completing this deal. In reality, we see him ask his driver to stop the car immediately. He jumps out and can be heard yelling what the subtitles helpfully provided by Bravo tell us are Swedish swear words. Since the swearing itself was not subtitled, we are the none the wiser about what he actually said. Which is a shame, because I appreciate it when reality shows toss a little tater tot of education my way every once in a while. I’d like to be able to swear fluently in Scandinavian every time ABBA comes on a radio station, or I can’t assemble the latest purchase from Ikea. May such dark fates never befall you, my friends.