Real Housewives of New York Cast Blogs Blogged by Namaste
Ramona hasn’t blogged since May 29th.
“Can Everyone Get Off Me?”
And now Bethenny is crying. Again. Sigh. She promises this is the last time. I think we heard that before. She knows she is not the first person to go through a divorce and custody battle. B feels pulled in many directions. She claims she didn’t ask the girls to adjust dates for her, but I think the other girls were compelled to try and accommodate her. I honestly think Bethenny jumped into this show when she wasn’t emotionally ready. I think she is more raw than she would like us to see.
I remember that day, and it really felt that Kristen was looking to stir it up with me, albeit subtly. Here is my advice: You do you, and I’ll do me.
She knew walking in that Kristen was ready for battle (again, I think Kristen was waiting for “screen time” and knew a confrontation with B would give her definite time!) B was excited to see Luann’s fashion line. She compliments Luann’s business sense.
I giggled at the conversation with Ramona. She just makes me laugh. I keep her around to be entertained, and she never disappoints. And she is always oblivious to the joke, which makes me laugh even more.
Ramona is the classic dumb blonde. She never disappoints.
Regarding the Carole lesbian dream scene, can everyone get off me? I’m not here telling Carole that she needs to perk up and become more motivated, so she doesn’t need to worry about my intensity. I haven’t written eight books, done a talk show, nine seasons of reality TV, created two workout DVDs, raised a 5-year-old, and built an international brand by being “chill.” She can sit right down, BUT I will let her go down on me in her dreams.
Downtown Julie Brown? Really? I have not ever had a lesbian sex dream. Nothing wrong with Lesbians, but I am not a lesbian and haven’t had lesbian sex dreams. That said, when I was preggers with the twins, I had some pretty insane dreams. B says she likes men. But is flattered by Carole’s dreams.
I LOVED our broads’ dinner. I feel badly that we talked about Sonja and our opinions about where she is in her life. There is more to this story on this night, which will play out this season. I maintain that Sonja is a good person, who is sweet, fun, and sexy. She is also holding onto a lot of stuff inside that no one sees. Maybe even Sonja doesn’t see it. And that night proved that blondes do get more head turns.
Sonja’s behavior makes me very uncomfy. I agree that Sonja is a good person who is living in a fantasy world. I saw she got a new intern this week. Can anyone explain the intern situation to me? Are they paid? Do they get college credit? What is their major if their internship is “working” for Sonja? Anyone? Crickets.
Ramona came in hot on Kristen at Luann’s suite. This is because Ramona knows a lot about the ins and outs of my situation, and she saw Kristen chomping at the bit to start a conversation about the trip. Ramona will take a hit for me.
Ramona really jumped into the shit with Kristen. I don’t agree with her confrontational approach. I think the conversation would have been better if she had pulled Kristen aside and just talked to her about how her words were perceived by Bethenny. I also think the other ladies are walking on egg shells around Bethenny because everything seems to set her off. Bethenny warns us though that everything between herself and Ramona is not sunshine and roses.
“I am so Over Ramona and Her Opinions”
Kristen starts off telling us she felt bad for interrupting her conversation with Bethenny last week. I think it was one of those situations where Kristen had all the words on the tip of her tongue and desperately needed to speak to B immediately before she forgot everything she wanted to say.
Lu asked me to model for her Countess line of clothing, which I was excited to do. Just before I had to go in and get my makeup done, Ramona (aka Sh– Stirrer) had said Bethenny was having issues with the schedule for our trip we were all taking. Please keep in mind we are dealing with eight women’s schedules and, like Bethenny, both Heather and I also have small children. We need to do quite a bit of scheduling in advance in order to get away, which we had already done and now if we are going to change it again for her schedule, we need to know right away.
Hey, I get it! I have 2 teenagers and planning a weekend is like organizing a G8 Summit! Kristen claims she wasn’t trying to be rude and I really don’t think her approach was rude, but when it comes to Bethenny these days, we just don’t know what is gonna bring on Niagara Falls.
I have no idea all the stress and pressure she has in her personal life, but then again she turns her back on me and doesn’t speak to me, so how would I know? And BTW…she has no problem being rude or talking sh– to any of the girls, so #sorrynotsorry for just wanting to know what her plans with the trip.
This is kinda true. Bethenny can be pretty rude. She can dish it out, but cannot take it.
Ramona is always just out to get me. So because Bethenny is going through a divorce, I am not supposed to ask her about the trip? I should wait and hear about it later through the grapevine? NO! Ramona, you don’t make the rules.
Ramona’s approach was awful. We have seen this time and time again with Ramona. She is very confrontational. I am starting to see why Mario sought out another woman…ok, I had figured this out sooner!
Ramona, you have a history with these women–years and years of friendships. I am an acquaintance of yours, just met Dorinda, and have talked to Bethenny once for maybe a minute or two. I’m the first to admit I do not fit into your little group. That is clearly obvious, and that is just fine with me. I know where my place is and Upper East Side and downtown are two different worlds, and I’m fine staying downtown with my family and friends.
Ramona’s has always approached others as “better than”. Kristen and Ramona would not be “friends” in a natural environment so we cannot expect them to be friends on RH. It would be nice if Ramona could be KIND, but that aint’ gonna happen. Kristen calls herself and MILF and Ramona a cougar. LOL! That kinda makes me giggle.
Luann de Lesseps
“Kristen’s Problem is with Timing, Not Intelligence”
Making cupcakes was fun and talking sex toys was what was expected from Sonja. Luann enjoyed shoe shopping with Kristen and again we address advice on how to deal with Bethenny. Argh. I have no friends that come with instructions.
Carole’s admission to Bethenny that she had a sex dream about her was a bit strange considering they don’t know each other all that well. I can see how a bit of nooky would loosen Bethenny up, but I think she’s going to have to find her own way on this! At least Carole was honest that she stirred the pot when talking about Kristen’s Pop of Color nail polish brand. Why she would insert herself between the two of them is beyond me…I guess even cool girls can be all uncool!
I was also impressed that Carole owned that she stirred up some shit with Kristen and Bethenny. Let’s hope she doesn’t continue down that path.
I design clothing for real women that are chic-made-easy and affordable, and I just celebrated my one-year anniversary of The Countess Collection with Evine.com! My collection can take you from work to play with the kids, and then straight to a dinner party. The pieces are meant to go seamlessly from day to night and all are made right here in NYC (and cost below $60). You’ll see me wear my collection throughout the entire season. Look for my new signature statement jewelry collection this fall. For more on my new collection, go here.
OK, since it is my “job”, I went and checked out Luann’s clothing line. I gotta say, there are several pieces I wouldn’t mind owning (yes, there a few capes…did we expect anything less?). The items seem reasonably priced and trendy. It is also pretty cool that Luann is WEARING her pieces. I have seen the Kardashian line at Sears and cannot imagine those girls actually wearing any of those items in public. Luann is proud of her line and the fact that she is filmed wearing her line, shows that does truly love it. She invited the ladies to her shoot so that she could share her collection with them and also asked Kristen to do some modeling (on the website, there are pics of Luann wearing her pieces as well as other models, but I didn’t see any pics of Kristen?).
The Park Side Restaurant is a great reason to visit Queens. I loved the old-school Italian atmosphere, and since I spent many years in Italy, I felt right at home. Bethenny did a good job picking the spot, and the food was fabulous! Our dinner conversation was going along just fine as we discussed the exotic and out-of-the-way destinations we’d like to visit but then veered into treacherous waters when we began discussing Sonja’s problems. I told the girls that Turks and Caicos is not an intervention but a vacation!
I find it pretty funny how some of these ladies don’t like to leave the island! Remember how they dissed Alex for living in Brooklyn? It was also funny for the girls to count the number of “looks” they got from guys in the bar. Poor B with her brunette locks! The conversation obviously turned to gossip about Sonja. Luann does not want to see the vaca turn into an intervention for Sonja (this has happened before and not gone so well…). The first step in recovery is recognizing you have a problem. Sonja does not acknowledge that she has problem, therefore it is impossible to help her at this point. I think Bravo is enabling her as they did with Kim.
Launching a fashion line with family and friends is a dream come true, and I was glad both my children were there for me. It was only a matter of time before Ramona reared her Ramotional head, and I was surprised at her aggressiveness with Kristen. Kristen has a right to express herself wherever and whenever she wants. As for Ramona calling Kristen dumb…well, that’s just dumb! Kristen is very smart, and while she might be having a little difficulty getting on with some of the girls, her problem is with timing, not intelligence. Anyway, it seemed to fizzle out quite quickly.
I’m not so sure it would be a dream come true to start a fashion line and invite some of these unpredictable ladies and have them behave horribly. Ramona cannot seem to control herself OR she brings the drama in order to keep her apple? Who knows. Calling Kristen “dumb” was just childish. As I said before, this conversation should have taken place privately where Ramona could have simply said, “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt when Carole gossiped, but please understand that Bethenny is really vulnerable right now.” Or she could have checked with The Countess for a manners lesson.
“Doing Nothing is Very Hard for Me”
Heather realizes she failed at trying to support Bethenny and that her approach was all wrong in the past. Heather says no matter how they all try, they seem to miss the mark when it comes to Bethenny. She says it is hard to not jump in and hug someone when they are obviously hurting and she has to pull back around Bethenny since she knows the reaction will not be good.
At Luann’s party, Ramona decided to come in really hard at Kristen while trying to defend Bethenny. I think we all found this move pretty surprising. PS–When did these two become so close? Ramona was out of line in practicing a classic #HousewivesDoubleStandard. But Kristen handled herself really well in an unfair situation.
It was a totally double standard. I wonder how the conversation would go if Heather approached Ramona about her rude conversation with Kristen? I imagine Crazy Eyes would have NONE of that. #HousewivesDoubleStandard
Heather reviews the divorce statistics (gee, didn’t we just get this less on OC earlier this week?). Heather acknowledges that when it comes to divorce, her and Kristen are in the minority in the group. Their perspective is different and perhaps those that have been or are going through divorce are a little bit bitter towards those that are still in good marriages.
“I Feel Bad I Said Anything About Sonja”
Anyone else loving the new girl like me? I hope she doesn’t spoil this for me! I am enjoying her. The cupcake decorating session was fun to watch but I don’t believe for one minute that these ladies can eat a half dozen cupcakes like I can. I love me some buttercream. Dorinda called it a “grownup playdate”. The Turks and Caicos trip came out of nowhere, but I imagine these ladies are given a pretty healthy heads up for these trips, no? Dorinda bemoans spending 5 whole days with these lunatics. Maybe she needs to be like Bethenny and demand her own room. I would also send out a group text that I would no longer be Sonja’s babysitter for the upcoming trip.
So, as an outsider on the inside, it’s fascinating to watch the relationship between Carole and Bethenny develop. They seem quite different, and they are, but it works. Granted, when a friend tells you they’re having sex with you in your dreams, you could either become REALLY close REALLY quickly, or you could get a court order. Carole is calm, a great listener, and really intelligent. Bethenny loves that in someone. She’s able to just be herself, not have to sift through opinons, judgments, or probing questions with Carole. Everyone else treats Bethenny like she’s Poor Richard’s Almanac. Carole is so laid back and so zen, she’s practically catatonic, and that’s what Bethenny needs.
Maybe Carole is the Yin to Bethenny’s Yang. Maybe her aura balances Bethenny. I don’t know. It is interesting. I do think though that Bethenny doesn’t want to be friends with anyone who is in a perfectly happy marriage/relationship. I don’t think she is ready for that yet.
So last week we saw Kristen launch her Pop Of Color, and this week, we saw The Countess Collection take off. I’m so proud of Luann and her collection. She has great style, has experienced so much in her life with modeling, a career in Europe, having children, and her relationships, that it’s so nice to see her put all that experience into creative energy and develop a clothing line. It was also an opportunity to break open her classic modeling moves, and show us what she’s got.
I’m kinda bored watching each one start their next business venture. I feel like I am being forced to watch the Home Shopping Channel or QVC.
At this point, Bethenny should really develop Skinnygirl tissues…the scented ones…cucumber dill with a twist of jalapeńo…to keep you crying.
There might be a market for this! A lot of people get weepy when they get all liquored up and they could use some nicely scented tissues. Not everyone can afford to buy linen napkins!
I will admit it, I am a wee bit like Sonja…not in the fact that I have minions who fold and pack my undies, but I do pack way in advance, I overpack and overthink each item. I am situational packer… “Gee, if we go out to eat at some place fancy, I am gonna need a dress. And nice shoes. And prob some matching accessories.” We are going on vaca in a week and I have already begun obsessing about what to pack. It also becomes a bigger prob when you have to make sure your kids pack, too! Wait, Sonja has interns helping her pack for herself? Really? This is like an old Polish joke, “How many interns does it take to pack Sonja’s suitcase?”
So, in talking with Bethenny one night, we both realized that Park Side in Queens is one of our favorite restaurants; Bethenny then organized a girl’s night out, complete with stretch limo and trick cups! Great food, old school mafia environment, and the cast of characters are endless. Believe it, it’s much more charming than that sounds. (Also, I forgot how much I love a good jumpsuit and frosted lipstick.) Every time I walk into that place, I feel like I’m on the set of Casino. I dragged The Countess across the East River and she actually enjoyed it!
This was really like a scene out of a movie! Very old school. Since Sonja couldn’t come out and play, the ladies took this opportunity to gossip about her. And this, my friends, is why I never miss book club…cause I am sure those bitches would spend the whole night talking shit about me.
And that brings us to the Rise of RaMEANa. The Warwick suite was gorgeous and, to celebrate the Resident Magazine cover for Luann, we all got together and supported. (I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t mind moving into that suite. It’s that kind of beautiful.) Ultimately, it was a great night, despite the clash in the suite. (Of course, there’s a clash that happens at the party downstairs, but that’s for next Tuesday’s blog.) When Ramona walked in and jumped at Kristen, it was like a new battle between the Blue and the Gray. (Or is it grey?)
She is so right! RaMEANa was in attendance; do you think she RSVPed? I wonder if RaMEANa’s plus 1 is Ramona?
Ultimately, Kristen handled herself pretty well and walked out like a classy, elegant girl with a wine glass in hand, thank you very much. Thank goodness it all ended quickly, as we had to move mannequins downstairs for the party that awaited. (Not me…I don’t work at cocktail parties anymore. Those days are behind me. Thanks.)
I have always been on the belief that there is no reasoning with crazy. Kristen’s best bet was to move her caboose as far away from crazy because that shit can be contagious.
“We Should All Relax and be Ourselves”
Holy crap on toast! Sonja’s blog is 190 words long. That’s it. 190. So Sonja is surprised that Ramona brought her own wine and glass with her. Really? This is from the girl that thought Luann was throwing a BYOB party earlier in the season.
I consider Dorinda calling me Marilyn Monroe to be the highest of compliments! I’ve performed as Marilyn Monroe in my caburlesque performances on Watch What Happens Live and recently at a party hosted by Andy Cohen to celebrate WWHL talent producer Anthony Lella’s 30th birthday. So…maybe my stage persona is coming through in my real life. Haaaappy Biiiirthday Mr. President!
I don’t think Dorinda calling Sonja Marilyn Monroe was meant as a compliment. Given the fact that Marilyn died from an overdose after living a life way beyond her means, I would say it was an accurate comparison and sad parallel for Sonja. She is still just plain delusional.
Million Dollar Listing New York by NotInStCyr
Fredric is summoned to a small park in Manhattan’s Financial District. This is an area that is becoming more residential and is now being called FiDi or the “New Downtown”. He’s meeting with Eric Bass, a member of the team that is developing the Temple Court building across the street. He invites Fredrik to audition to become the broker for the 51-story condominium tower being built next to the landmark. Temple Court is one of the most fabled properties in the city. Fredrik can barely contain his excitement. He says that when he first looked at the property, his reaction was the same as when he first laid eyes on the paint-dappled perfection that is Derek. His next thought was, “I want that!” I completely understand. I get the same feeling when I look at the maple bacon crullers at Do-Rite Donuts in the morning. Temple Court is a 130 year-old red brick office building that has a beautiful 9-story interior courtyard rimmed by elaborate wrought iron railings and topped by a glass skylight. As it aged and fell out of favor, the building lost tenants and eventually closed. It became the sleeping beauty of New York real estate. I first saw Temple Court when it was featured on Scouting NY, a blog by Nick Carr, a movie location scout. His blog helped stir interest in the decrepit property, which became a hip place to shoot fashion spreads, TV scenes and music videos and also host social events. Kanye West has been there. Say no more. This brought in a little money that may have helped keep the building afloat until it could be rescued. In 2012, GFI Development/GB Lodging bought Temple Court for $64 million and renamed it 5 Beekman. If Fredrik gets the job, it will be one of the highlights of his career and could net him a $9 million commission.
Ryan is brainstorming with his Nest Seekers team about the marketing of the One57 apartment. For a two bedroom, two bath apartment priced at $13.95 million, people at least expect unobstructed views. Since the seller is throwing in the furniture, the team decides to showcase the unit as a turnkey property that will appeal to new, young money – that is, people who work all day and never look out the window. Ryan decides they need to host a party for young millionaires, particularly from the tech field.
Having taken his life coach’s lessons to heart, Luis is taking the time to take deep breaths in his office. His coach must have left out the part about smelling the roses. Luis admits that his life was filled with too much frantic energy, and that he lost his focus. Now invigorated, he tells Ronita that “we’re going to turn things around!” Luis decides to go back to the future by tackling the Jones home in Harlem. He loves both the clients and the house and has been kicking himself for not being able to sell it.
It’s show time and Fredrik shows up with a rolling bar cart at the pitch meeting for 5 Beekman. This is an unusual strategy, since most people come to meetings armed with laptop PowerPoint presentations and spiral bound reports. Maybe even a laser pointer. He starts serving drinks around the table while he describes the atmosphere he’d like to create at an event that will give people a taste of what it will be like to live in the building. The challenge here is that the condo tower hasn’t been built yet, and a high-profile project like this has to offer more than just renderings to prospective buyers. So, Fredrik suggests making a very large scale model of the condo tower that would help people visualize the apartment they could be living in. He’d also like a state-of-the art model apartment with simulated view windows that would be remotely controlled by an IPad. A Debbie Downer comments that these ideas could cost millions of dollars to execute. Still, Fredrik gets congratulated for thinking outside of the box. Ruh roh – that sounds dismissive. Maybe Fredrik was hoping to soften the mood with the alcoholic beverages.
Ryan is holding the event for “new millionaires” in the One57 party room. He’s wearing a tuxedo in a plaid that would be look better upholstering a wing chair in a wind-swept Scottish castle. He stands out, and that’s the point. He says that he wants these people to know, “I’m your broker, bitch!” He’s right — a broker in a loud plaid tux would be memorable. Ryan leads people on tours of the apartment, with its high-end finishes and $1 million dollars’ worth of free furniture. I can tell you that the closet pendant light alone (The Moooi Random Light designed by Bertjan Pot) costs about $700. This I know, because I’ve lusted after this fixture for ages. Since it’s dark outside, no one even notices the obstructed park view. Clever! The party is full of insanely wealthy, disheveled “start-up dudes”, including one person who wants to make an offer in Bitcoins. This is like Monopoly money to Ryan, but he’s told that for B50,000 is worth about $13.041 million in real world dollars.
The Maserati is back! Luis drives it to Harlem to meet once again with Dr. and Mrs. Jones. He’s greeted warmly, if warily, by the couple. Luis explains that he’d like to re-list the house. Perceptively, Mrs. Jones replies that he wasn’t focused enough the last time he tried to sell it. Also, Dr. Jones didn’t appreciate the push back on the price they got from him. Luis assures them that he wants get them the price they want and that the house deserves. He says, “I’d like to finish this”. Dr. Jones agrees to give Luis a 30-day contract.
Ryan and Emilia are dining at home, and he is inordinately proud of the fact that he cooked the meal. I’m glad that household tasks are being performed by both partners nowadays, but why is it that when a man does his share, he expects the Noble Prize? Or at least a Milk Bone. I digress. Emilia announces that she’s gotten a promotion. They drink to that, but Ryan notices that she doesn’t seem particularly happy about it. We learn that Emilia is a lawyer specializing in shipping law, and her firm wants her to relocate to Geneva. Which is really ironic, because Switzerland is a land-locked country. Emilia says that she’s worked really hard for this and needs to consider the opportunity. Ryan is stunned. He tell us that New York is a part of their relationship. The part that doesn’t send birthday cards, remember anniversaries or pick up the garbage, which is scattered all over the front sidewalk. Emilia feels that he can sell real estate anywhere, but he tells her that he can’t leave the city.
An awkward, TO BE CONTINUED silence ensues.
Luis has finally hired another broker named Ricellys for Team Luis. She and Luis hold private showings of the Jones’ 5-story townhome. Instead of trying to lure Manhattan brokers into making the trek up to Harlem, Luis is marketing the property as a family home. They emphasize its roominess, hand-carved finishes and lavish appointments. At one of the showings, they meet a broker with a client who wants a house large enough to accommodate 3 generations of his family.
Fredrik got the job! He’s at the Beekman sales gallery, which is a mock-up of the hotel lobby and bar. It looks like all of his suggestions were used. There is an impressively large model of the entire development, which Fredrik admits makes even him look small. It cost $500,000 and took 30 people 30 days to build. The model apartment is, of course, stunning. At the touch of an IPad screen, Fredrik can call up every view that every window of every one of the 68 units will have. The entire shebang cost $2.5 million, and Fredrik needs to prove it’s worth every penny the developers spent. No worry. Even though the tower is not yet built, and the units are priced at the record high price of $2,200/sq. ft., 25% of them are sold by the end of the evening. Fredrik informs Bass that they’ve done $44 million in sales in just a few hours. He (Fredrik, not Bass) does his happy “weeee” leg kick and sings in Swedish.
Ryan is trying to concentrate on his work and not dwell on the bomb dropped by Emilia. He submits the Bitcoin offer, which is still $1 million below the asking price, to his client’s representative, who is not Virtual Victor this time around. Blake is surprisingly reasonable and agrees with Ryan that the price is too high, especially since there is a surplus of luxury apartments in the New York real estate market. Instead of taking the apartment off the market, the client will instead lease it to a friend for $50,000/mo. It’s a win/win for Ryan. The property will become a pocket listing that he can continue to show to potential buyers, and he will make a commission of $7,500/mo. from the lease.
Luis drives out to the Jones’ weekend getaway in Grand View-on-Hudson, NY. He can’t wait to tell them that he has a fully-vetted offer for the full asking price from the buyer with the multi-generation family. As a reward, Dr. Jones asks Luis to sell their house on the Hudson River. What is it with these rich people? Why do they keep flipping the homes they live in? Are they nomads?
I’ve admitted that the Temple Court/5 Beekman building is dear to my heart. So what if the apartments in the nondescript, architecturally soul-less glass tower are priced between $1.2 million and $3.7 million, which is beyond the reach of mere mortals. I’m just glad that this old world brick palace was rescued from the wrecking ball and preserved. Fredrik has already sold 50% of the units in the condo tower. Note to self: must buy lottery tickets. PS: Puffer Munkin + Ryan 4EVAH!!!